The 79th Annual Academy Awards Snooze Fest took place last night. How this show could be made any more boring year after year and yet we're not able to fix Global Warming on a Saturday afternoon I'll never understand. Though I'm not a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres she amusing and passable for an Academy Award show host.

We've long submitted that the only watchable part of the Oscars is the parade of celebrity cleavage down the red carpet, the philosophic ramblings of Ryan Seacrest and the adolescent dream that celebrity boobs will come flying out of over-priced designer dresses at any given minute. The process of making movies is a great art and movie makers deserve their just awards, but don't hype this stuff up and then make it unwatchable for anyone without a DVR.

The Celebrity Crunch Red Carpet Award (we just made that up, cool huh) goes to Jessica Biel. She was the true headlight of the red carpet, ah, I mean highight, and looks so fit that we were just begging her to take Kirsten Dunst and twist her up like a ballon animal with her bare hands.