The NY Post has copy of a tape of Paula Abdul crying and bitching about a whole load of crap.

"I've been going through tremendous amounts of a difficult time," said Abdul, who recently fibbed to her fans when she said she hurt her nose tripping over her Chihuahua. (We reported the real story last week - that Abdul threw a glass against the wall and a shard of it cut her face.)

And here she is whining about her publicist Howard Bragman:

"Howard Bragman on Monday - he did some disgusting behavior. I had to go to Jimmy Kimmel," Abdul is heard sobbing, "with no publicist there. [Abdul appeared on Kimmel's show on May 15.] I go on with no publicist there and I pay this man . . .

"I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I've never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser."

I was going to say how ridiculous it was that a grown woman can't appear on a talk show and speak for herself without a publicist up her ass, but they I remembered that was the episode of Jimmy Kimmel conducted on a moving city bus where Paula shoved tissue up her nose during the interview because of the smell. She doesn't need a publicist she needs an animal trainer. And a shrink. And some tissues.