Celebrity Predictions for 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
It's time to dust off the old crystal ball and polish it up all nice and shiny. Here's our celebrity predictions for the new year. Happy 2008.
Jessica Simpson Gets Naked - The only thing that's going to keep another Jessica Simpson movie from going straight to video are her golden assets. Jessica will flash those boobs on film in '08.
Britney Spears Has More Trouble - The crazy continues with full force in 2008. We're predicting a short stay in jail and a trip to rehab in order to keep the kids. And our course more braless, pantiless, classless antics.
Kim Kardashian Continues to Do Nothing - We'll still post pictures of Kim's back forty and impressive rack even though she does absolutely nothing that should receive any more fame making attention. Just because.
Nicole Richie Becomes a Mom - Well, yeah obviously she's going to give birth in 2008, but we're gettin' crazy and predicting that the Chupacabra will lay low turn into a good Hollywood mom.
Lindsay Lohan Has More Sex - Lindsay Lohan will continue her recent tour through Europe by sleeping with at least three men from every country. Why? Because she's Lindsay Lohan and Europe is, well, just there.
A Good Celebrity Sex Tape - We made it through 2007 without a truly good celebrity sex tape scandal. Kim Kardashian's tape turned to to be just plain boring. Meg White's was fake and Eva Longoria and Winona Ryder's sex tape's were only parodies. Look for a top A-lister to shine on tape in '08.
Criss Angel is Eaten - By something, whatever. A tiger, a leopard, snake, Pam Anderson's vagina. Something!
Celebrity Hook Ups - Simpson/Romo - Split! -- Pitt/Jolie - Still together. -- Alba/Cash - Break up -- Brady/Giselle - Split -- Panettiere/Ventimiglia - Break Up (too hard to spell anyway) -- Britney/K-Fed - Get it on. WT bounce back -- Paris Hilton / Any guy in Europe - Pick one, anyone.
Hollywood - We predict the writer's strike lasts until April, but they still crank out the Oscars which suck as usual. Letterman still isn't funny and Jerry Seinfeld talks about coming to late night.
Tara Reid - Tara who?
Jessica Simpson Gets Naked - The only thing that's going to keep another Jessica Simpson movie from going straight to video are her golden assets. Jessica will flash those boobs on film in '08.
Britney Spears Has More Trouble - The crazy continues with full force in 2008. We're predicting a short stay in jail and a trip to rehab in order to keep the kids. And our course more braless, pantiless, classless antics.
Kim Kardashian Continues to Do Nothing - We'll still post pictures of Kim's back forty and impressive rack even though she does absolutely nothing that should receive any more fame making attention. Just because.
Nicole Richie Becomes a Mom - Well, yeah obviously she's going to give birth in 2008, but we're gettin' crazy and predicting that the Chupacabra will lay low turn into a good Hollywood mom.
Lindsay Lohan Has More Sex - Lindsay Lohan will continue her recent tour through Europe by sleeping with at least three men from every country. Why? Because she's Lindsay Lohan and Europe is, well, just there.
A Good Celebrity Sex Tape - We made it through 2007 without a truly good celebrity sex tape scandal. Kim Kardashian's tape turned to to be just plain boring. Meg White's was fake and Eva Longoria and Winona Ryder's sex tape's were only parodies. Look for a top A-lister to shine on tape in '08.
Criss Angel is Eaten - By something, whatever. A tiger, a leopard, snake, Pam Anderson's vagina. Something!
Celebrity Hook Ups - Simpson/Romo - Split! -- Pitt/Jolie - Still together. -- Alba/Cash - Break up -- Brady/Giselle - Split -- Panettiere/Ventimiglia - Break Up (too hard to spell anyway) -- Britney/K-Fed - Get it on. WT bounce back -- Paris Hilton / Any guy in Europe - Pick one, anyone.
Hollywood - We predict the writer's strike lasts until April, but they still crank out the Oscars which suck as usual. Letterman still isn't funny and Jerry Seinfeld talks about coming to late night.
Tara Reid - Tara who?
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