So it seems John Mayer has a couple of issues. Let's first start with the message he posted on his personal blog, here.

Dear Ex Lover,
Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying.
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.

So are we talking about Jessica Simpson? JLH? After seeing this schmo put on that Borat thong on his own cruise I can't imagine anyone is bothering to contact him. Never mind the endless gossip stories of him getting shot down by various chicks.

As for the jock itch, well that's just speculation, but it seems some random paparazzi decided John needed some curing and gave him a bottle Tinactin and some cream. Pretty funny. Hey maybe it's part of Ashton Kutcher's new show. The one where they try and punk the paparazzi and mass media in order to make fun of the general public for being so gullible. OK, it's on. Damn, have you heard? John Mayer has raging jock itch. Hah. (It seems like this one makes more fun of John Mayer than the public, but oh well, cool).

Photo: Wenn