Celebrity Crunch

Jodie Marsh's Boobs Are Umm Huge.

2008-08-28T15:33:00.002-07:00

Topping every list of big giant British boobs is Jodie Marsh. While she's no Keeley Hazell, she's still got some rack, and this is how she likes to dress. Nice. These snaps are from a movie premiere for Daylight Robbery. I think that's what the captions said. Truth be told I think I've lost the last five minutes of my life. What year is this? Dammit, why can't I reach through my screen?

Photo: Wenn

Kim Kardashian to Bring Butt to Network Primetime

2008-08-27T08:51:00.003-07:00

It seems Kim Kardashian has landed herself a spot in next season's Dancing With the Stars. I'd argue it's all wrong considering she really isn't a star of anything, and God knows what kind of high math and physics are going to be required to keep that ass from hitting the dance floor, but it's the youthful eye candy ABC needs to lure in those superficial people who couldn't care less about ballroom dancing. I say she's out by week three without a doubt. Her are some recent snaps from Kim's appearance on Letterman this week.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears Sings Into a Microphone - For Real

2008-08-22T15:37:00.004-07:00

In an effort to fill your weekend with all things awesome (stick daggers in your ears) here's a most awesome compilation of Britney Spears' live performances. What's so great you say? She's not naked? Well, true, but somehow they've managed to isolate the real vocals from her on stage microphone. So you get to hear her, real ah ~~singing~~ as opposed to the track that is actually being played. Wow. It's mind blowing unparalleled talent (FAIL).

Lily Allen's Nipple Slip Smack Down

2008-08-21T15:34:00.003-07:00

If there's one thing British singer Lily Allen is known for it's ah, not singing. More like letting her boobs fall out of whatever clothing she's wearing. This time she combined that with some solid hand work on an unruly spectator after leaving a night club. Check out our animation of the action here, as Lily throws the death blow from behind to the women's neck. Those are some solid skills, and if you're going to punch from behind, your opponent will never see it coming. Of course Lily Allen could probably also punch you square in your face and you'd never see that coming either because you'd be too busy staring at her nipples. Great tactics.

Photo: Wenn

The Perpetually Braless Lindsay

2008-08-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

At this point I'm fairly certain Lilo and Sam had some sort of lesbian love in and burned all her bras. I'm not complaining, as a matter of fact I think it's a great idea for a social movement. Sadly a recent reader comment questioned how we knew she wasn't wearing a bra. Shame shame. In case there's any doubt, here's some new picts for ya. Maybe she should just consider going with a cupless model?

(Ah, ok our research team just looked into that Bra Burning movement idea and says it's already been done. From the photos we say I think they maybe need to put some age restraints in place though.)

Photo: Wenn

Maria Sharapova Sells Stuff

2008-08-21T09:59:00.002-07:00

Queen of the tennis cameltoe Maria Sharapova is making the rounds pimping Canon cameras. A diamond encrusted camera no less. Cracks me up (makes me jealous as all hell) when you can pretty much make bank for just standing there holding someone's product. I think half the posts we've ever done on Petra Nemcova is when she's hawking something. And btw, wtf is up with the one-armed dress?

Photo: Wenn

Kim Kardashian as a Pussy Cat Doll - It Was Just a Matter of Time

2008-08-18T09:31:00.003-07:00

Kim K. threw some fishnets on the Back 40 and hit the stage with the Pussy Cat Dolls. You had to know this wasn't far off really. When you do nothing else but run around and look hot, joining the Pussy's on stage is bound to happen. Here's Carmen Electra a couple weeks back hitting the stage as well.

Photo: Wenn

Adjusting Olivia Munn's Boobs

2008-08-17T20:25:00.003-07:00

Without a doubt she's the queen of all geek crushes, host of G4tv's Attack of the Show, Olivia Munn. And if her nightly sexual innuendo and bater with co-host Kevin Pereira isn't enough, here's a clip of Olivia adjusting the girls during the monologue, followed by Kevin (pretending he's not so metrosexual) trying to give her a proper reach around. Utter fail on Kevin's part and seriously places in jeopardy whatever small piece of his withered man-card is left. Come on dude. Give em a good squeeze!

Catching Up with Audrina Patridge

2008-08-17T10:52:00.001-07:00

Everybody's favorite fake breasted, fake reality tv star Audrina Patridge looks to have scored herself a new dude. Newsworthy? No, but it's Audrina Patridge so let's face it, it's all about the pictures. Granted she's not naked this go around, but hey, it's better than gawking at this.

Photo: Wenn

Is it Just Me or is Lindsay Bigger Than Ever?

2008-08-16T10:47:00.002-07:00

I'm not sure if it's the short mental hiatus I took from the world of celebrity racks, but Lindsay Lohan's looks bigger than ever. These latest braless snaps come from a recent out with girlfriend Sam Ronson. Maybe it's just seeing her next to Sam that makes here look so endowed. But I guess that's not really saying much. It's like comparing Everest to a sheep of notebook paper.

Photo: Wenn

Alison Carroll is the New Lara Croft. Hot and Flexible.

2008-08-12T08:38:00.003-07:00

The new face of Lara Croft was revealed yesterday. Alison Carroll is it. She's got big shoes to fill following the likes of Angelina Jolie, but she looks up to the task. She's got the cleavage and apparently some pretty good flexibility. (unfortunately she also appears to wear underwear).

Photo: Wenn

Comedian Bernie Mac Dead at 50

2008-08-09T08:27:00.003-07:00

Tragic news from the world of comedy this morning. Bernie Mac died today at the age of only 50. Yahoo reports:

Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.

Jessica Sings In Her Daisy Dukes

2008-08-08T14:03:00.002-07:00

Jessica Simpson took the stage at the Indiana State Fair this week. I dig the live picts mainly because the microphone hides that iron jaw. And of course the white Daisy Dukes don't hurt at all. As for her, ah singing career, hum well - it's a state fair.

Photo: Wenn

Sam and Lindsay Sans Bra

2008-08-08T13:45:00.002-07:00

Lindsay Lohan hit the streets braless yesterday with ~~boyfriend~~, ~~girlfriend~~, future wife Sam Ronson. Since I was too busy looking at her boobs I almost didn't notice what looks like an engagement ring. Check it here in the HQ. Tough call, but let's just run with that one for now. Why not.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears Looks Better, Lands Role as Stripper

2008-08-06T13:43:00.002-07:00

Must take cover - Earth imploding. Britney Spears was spotted looking, ah. good. I'm not sure how many souls had to be sold, or what miracle of science was employed, but Britney's looking better. Full head of hair, make up, even all her clothes! And it appears to have landed her a role in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Papers reports:

A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She's delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around.

"It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."

Tarantino's a strange cat. He makes cool films but in public life appears to be the biggest dork ass I think I've even seen. Hard to tell whether or not this rap is real. He's seems smarter enough not get involved with that trainwreck, but you never know.

Photo: Wenn

Amanda Beard's Naked PETA Poster for Olympics

2008-08-06T08:50:00.004-07:00

Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard is the latest celebrity to take it all off in the name of fur activism. Amanda Beard is nude on the latest poster for PETA and it's causing a stir at the Beijing Olympics. She was kicked out a venue trying to promote the poster and ended up outside on the street posing for photos with the poster in hand. And let's not forget Amanda Beard's gotten naked in Playboy a few years back as well. I guess we should just be thankful PETA enlisted Amanda verses a Norwegian she-male shot putter. FYI - other celebrities who have gotten naked for PETA are Jenna Jemason, Alicia Silverstone, Eva Mendes and Dita Von Teese.

Paris Hilton's Fake McCain Ad

2008-08-06T07:10:00.001-07:00

Funny or Die put together a spoof ad for John McCain featuring Paris Hilton. While Farrell's Funny or Die has put together a couple good spoofs in the past this one is, ah, stupid. Paris talking about off shore drilling makes no sense, well, ok maybe a little sense, Paris does know a thing or two about getting drilled. Fail.

Kim K Forgot the Makeup

2008-08-05T08:19:00.002-07:00

Since it's a documented fact that our readers still think Kim K is hot even without make up, we bring you some street shots of Kim without the war paint. She's out doing what she does best - shop. And doing what we do best - keeping her famous for absolutely no rational reason. Well, other than the giant jugs.

Photo: Wenn

Eva Mendes Slips a Nip in New Calvin Klein Commercial

2008-08-04T14:58:00.003-07:00

Eva Mendes is featured in a new Calvin Klein commercial - featured naked. You don't have have to watch hard for the nipple slip because it will pretty much hits you right between the eyes. The nude commercial is for Secret Obsession and shockingly, it's already taken off the air in the US market. It's a great strategy in a lagging economy. I'd argue that if you're looking to simulate sales you might as well start in your pants. I'm pretty sure GM could do no wrong by having Eve Mendes take off her clothes and roll around naked on top of a Denali that gets 10 mpg. Hint, hint guys.

Tara Reid and the Wonky Twins

2008-08-01T09:50:00.003-07:00

It's been ages since we spotted Tara Reid out and about. And well, things haven't changed much. I'm assuming she isn't sauced seeing as how it's daylight and she's shopping, but she still always has that out of control sloppy look to her. The big jugs, no bra, nipples every which way. Like they're swinging in the wind just about to spin her out of control like a fan missing one its blades. Good to have her back.

Photo: Wenn

Carmen Electra Goes Burlesque

2008-07-31T10:40:00.001-07:00

Something about the whole burlesque thing screams has been. Retro, yeah, but also past her prime?

Photo: Wenn

Madonna Has So Jumped the Shark

2008-07-30T10:28:00.003-07:00

I realize this is somewhat old buzz, but I've been back logged and unmotivated. So here's a little ugly to wake your ass up. Apparently the worst of these Madonna shots might have been photoshopped, but I'd contend it wouldn't take much retouching as this point to reach real live Chupacabra status.

Photo: Wenn

Audrina Partridge is Cleavagy Filler

2008-07-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

These snaps of Audrina are from a couple weeks back. Somehow I missed posting them, but we're gearing up to head east for a little R&R so we though we'd bring you some filler that you'd, ah, like to fill yourself. Enjoy Audrina's cleavage while we're away.

Photo: Wenn

X-Files Trailer

2008-07-24T15:45:00.000-07:00

The X-Files 2 opens this weekend. While the first X-Files move as just decent, I'm still excited about seeing Mulder and Scully back.

Jodie Marsh's Boobs Defy the Laws of Physics

2008-07-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's beyond amazing that Jodie Marsh's giant rack didn't manage to come flying out of this dress - considering the 'dress' looks like it's make from a set of drapes a cat ripped up. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Oh, no. But stick tape, fabric magnetism, sideways gravity, whatever it is that's keep those girls in be damned!

Photo: Wenn