I could make up a bunch of real heady stuff about the cultural relevancy of posting paparazzi pictures of Audrina Patridge out shopping. But I seem to have already titled the post with 'breasty filler', so let's just stick with that. And seeing as how last month we all say Audrina completely naked you should be able to get that much more mileage out of these shots.

Photo: Wenn

It seems Playboy has snagged it's first tennis player. Ashely Harkleroad will appear in the August issue of Playboy. Taking a look at these two pictures of Harkleroad I'm not sure if seeing her naked is a good idea or not. We could only hope that Ashley's spread will spur on the competitive spirit from the likes of Maria Sharapova.

Face plate Pete Wentz is an ass - A Socialite's Life
Mackenzie Rosman throws in some tongue - Egotastic
Diapers for Winehouse? - Yeeeah
Karina Smirnoff slips the nip - HollywoodTuna
Sandee Westgate's Breasts Review National Treasure 2 - Tunaflix
Wet t-shirt contest onboard a moving plane - pilot joins in - Tshirtwatch
Whiskey sour time baby - Mr. Booze
This dude straps rockets to his back, flies like a bird. WTF - GadgetCrunch
Amy Winehose and Pete Doherty play with baby mice (retards) - Crunch Community
Bigger and better - Xtina's boobs - The Crunch
Dunst wasn't drunk - just depressed. Ahh huh. - Dlisted
Kim Kardashian's ass hits the Whitehouse - Bastardly
Find out which Playboy Platmate is sporting a Laker's jersey and no pants.

Tell me these two aren't getting down to business. Hell, even People has jumped into the lesbian fray. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson has been spotted (in photos everywhere) getting pretty damn friendly at Cannes. Of course rumors that Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian are nothing new, but the Ronson kiss is about as out there as it's gotten so far. Though this isn't the first time we've spotted Lindsay kissing a chick. Hit up SplashNews for the complete photo play-by-play of Lindsay's lesbian lip lock.

Natalie Portman attended an Amfar benefit dinner at Cannes and busted some solid moves on stage. I haven't seen a video for this yet and I'll give benefit of the doubt, but from these stills I'm guessing it some hybrid George Bush / Elaine Benes looking action.

Photo: Wenn

If you've ever wondered what the Joker would look like without hair, here you go. Cameron Diaz is bald. Well, ok, maybe she didn't really shave her head. The bald pictures aren't faked or photoshopped, they're from a movie set (My Sister's Keeper) so we're probably talking movie makeup magic. Personally I prefer to just blindly believe everything I see on film and then make up stories to support it. So we're sticking with yes, Cameron Diaz really is bald, and yes, it has everything to do with Area 51 and government conspiracies. You fill in the holes from there.

Photo: Wenn

Maxim's Annual Hot 100 List is out, which apparently makes the perfect excuse to throw a party and invite hot chicks. Who would have guessed. Yeah, I know poor Jenna is past her prime but she made a good banner pict. You can hit the full post here for the list of the top 10 if you haven't already seen it (I know the list itself has been out a bit, but the party picts are new). And hit up Maxim for the complete list of 100 List here. I think you'll find the list has more to do with which chick has posed in Maxim, but hey, who's complaining - well expect for Britney Spears coming in at #19. WTF?

10. Ashely Tisdale
9. Lindsay Lohan
8. Christina Aguilera
7. Eva Mendes
6. Elisha Cuthbert
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar
4. Eva Longoria
3. Jessica Biel
2. Scarlett Johannson
1. Marisa Miller

Photo: Wenn

Hayden Panettiere really (really) loves the whales. So much so she's put herself up for sale. You can bid on a boat ride with Hayden, to go whale watching. The winner gets cash, a celebrity studded dinner hosted by Eva Longoria, and can bring five of his drunkest best friends. Bidding is currently up to about $4000 so start saving those pennies. Hit the auction here.

With the celebrity marriage spotlight focused on Ashlee, Pete and California lesbians, Cash Warren and Jessica Alba got all sneaky and were 'quietly' married. People reports:

According to a source, they were married in the Beverly Hills courthouse's ceremony room under an arch of green silk foliage and white flowers. They were casually dressed, with Alba wearing a long blue dress and her hair back in a ponytail.

Additional details have yet to surface, but we assume Jessica might have actually cracked a smile during the courthouse nuptials. Looks like the shotgun wedding is all the rage these days.

Photo: wenn.com Source

Fergie played live in NY on the Today Show butchering the Heart classic Barracuda. You might not have noticed the awful singing if you looked hard enough at her leather pants, or weren't distracted by the half-a-dozen one armed cartwheels. Or the part when she slinked down the front of the guitar player like she was ready to blow him. Perfect performance for a crowd of school aged kids and stay at home soccer moms. Full clip of Fergie's antics after the jump.

Photo: Wenn

While I've pondered putting up a 'best of' Cannes gallery I'm also lazy as hell. So pondering is about as far as it's gotten. But when Petra Nemcova's nipple almost pops out of her dress, well then the motivation kicks in. So to hell with a round up gallery, we'll just stick to Petra. Hit the hi-res version and check the slip for yourself - oh so close.

Photo: Wenn

The California Supreme Court has overturned the ban on gay marriage and altars will soon be filling up. And it sounds like Ellen DeGeneras and Portia de Rossi will be one of the first to take advantage. Ellen announced her wedding plans to the world on yesterday's show. I'm not a lesbian and totally don't get the lesbian aesthetic, expect for perhaps Ellen. Well not, her, she's like a living Alf doll, but she scored one hell of a conversion with Portia de Rossi. That my friend is some mad lesbian skill. Clip from Ellen's show after the jump.

Photo: wenn

I'm not sure it's motherhood, gamma rays, or alien implants, but Christina Aguilera's boobs are huge. Massive. It's not for me to question such things though, just enjoy. But I am throwing the flag at the Anna Nicole-esqe look she's got going on with the lipstick and fly glasses. Not a road you really want to go down.

Photo: Wenn

If you didn't know this movie was made by Woody Allen you'd probably watch the trailer and think it was a foreign film. We snagged some on-set photos of Allen's new movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona last year. And now here's the trailer. Yeah, I'm sure you wondering why we care about a movie made by a walking fossil, well, that fossil managed to get Scarlett Johannson and Penelope Cruz in a lesbian liplock - that's why.

If you haven't yet heard, Jack Black outed Angelina Jolie on national television. (If only that really literally true.) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are having twins, single handedly repopulating the world with their bionic genes. Angelina Jolie does pregnancy so well she probably could repopulate the planet. You can watch the whole clip after the jump if you're really into Jack Black and babies. Unfortunately it includes Matt Lauer, but hopefully the 'twins' make up for it.

Photo: Wenn

Paris and her pet Benji were in Russia to promote Paris' new perfume "Can Can". If there was ever a place to try and sell crazy, a country where the vodka flows like water would be it. No word on if Paris introduced the Russia kids to the Paris Hilton doll.

Photo: Wenn

I'm positive there's some story attached to the pictures of Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty, but quite frankly it really wouldn't matter. Just choose your worst nightmare and insert these two vampires into it and that probably closer to reality than whatever was actually going on. A few details as you spin your own yarn a). Amy Winehouse may now actually live in a cave, and b) Pete Doherty has actually been dead for over two years.

Photo: Wenn

This picture of Britney Spears with a pregnant looking belly is everywhere. It's got to be Photoshopped. The laws of nature won't allow two Spears girls to be pregnant at once. For that matter not even one should be allowed, but I don't control these thing - yet. The smoking and butt scratching do make perfect sense, but as for the 'pregnant belly' - I'm guessing the shot was taken after she spent an hour going in circles through a KFC drive through.

Thanks to the folks at CollegeHumor, and no thanks to YouTube, we present an old clip of Bill O'Reilly having just a little trouble reading the fucking teleprompter. Classic clip. In all fairness I'd imagine every single t.v. anchor has done exactly the same thing at one point in time or another, it's just that none of them are as big of a douche as Bill O'Reilly, so this is way funnier to watch.

Looks like Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are getting married next weekend. US Magazine reports that a 'top secret' wedding is to take place on May 17. 'Top secret' being code for a shotgun trip down the aisle before Ashlee starts shopping in the maternity section.

Photo: Wenn

During yesterdays Indy 500 practice runs Danica Patrick hit a member of a competitors pit crew. Her car's front left corner caught the guys leg's and flipped him over resulting in a concussion and multiple facial lacerations. Watch the clip of the accident, you can't quite see exactly where his noggin ended up, but it looks like he did a face plant into her back tire. Ouch.

I'm sure most people living in the real world are aware the a cyclone killed somewhere between 50,000-100,000 people in Burma (Myanmar) this week. So what better time to post a lame PSA discussing the corrupt government and generally crappy state of life the people of Myanmar lead - all set to cute music and video of Kim Kardashian checking out her ass in the mirror. It should be said the PSA, also featuring Khloe and Kourtney, was made before the cyclone demolished the country. But of course was posted five days after the storm. Well sure, because waiting only three days would have just been plain insensitive.

Hef and the girls threw a party to announced that playmate Jayde Nicole was named Playboys' Playmate of the Year for 2008. Jayde of course will take it all off in June's issue of Playboy where you can check out her tattooed instructions for use of her crotch. One word - Respect. Google yourself up a little naked Jayde while the boss is at lunch. Here are some clothed snaps of the PMOY luncheon.

Photo: Wenn

Been ages since I bothered to post a trailer, but this one caught me eye. Bigger Stronger Faster is from the producers of Bowling For Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11 (though nothing to do with Michael Moore) - it's about steroid use. Check out the biceps on the dude in the very beginning. Totally freakish.

If this isn't a good way to start your Thursday I don't know what is. Eva Mendes is topless in the latest issue of Italian Vogue. You can always count on the European publications to just let everything hang out. Eva's photoshoot is a little odd though, like the banner picture where she's jammed under a glass tray. Or the picture of her sucking her toes. Those crazy Italians. Click with care as title Eva Mendes topless pretty much means, ah, yeah she's topless. So yes, nsfw.

I stumbled on this promotional picture a couple of days ago. I'm assuming it's real? It's a Paris Hilton doll* for your kid. What a great idea. Not quite as healthy for your child as letting them play with a zip lock full of broken glass, but hey. I envision a complete line of doll-sized accessories for little Paris - miniature pregnancy tests, Xanez, Penicillin and a little video camera with night vision to record those special childhood moments only Paris Hilton could teach your child. *(Underwear not included).

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline went to court yesterday to work out new visitation rights for Britney. There almost isn't anything to make fun of. Well, OK, lots really, but somehow Britney's managed to curb her nightly trips to Rite-Aid restrooms, put on a bra and stopped talking like a she's from another country. In exchange for her more 'normal' behavior she was granted additional time with the rug rats.

Photo: Wenn Source

After years in captivity the Tattooed Winehouse has been returned to her natural habitat. Immediately seeking shelter from nature photographers Amy squats in a bush perhaps tending to the call of nature. This chick's starting to make Britney Spears look like June Cleaver. WTF?

Photo: Wenn

An event at the Metropolitan Museum of Art brought out a throng of A-listers. 'Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy' was put on by the Costume Institute. (no clue). I did read the event name and spend 15 minutes looking for real superheroes before I read the 'fashion and fantasy' part. The only superheroes I spotted belonged to Gisele. But the event did manage to bring Tom and Katie out of their fox hole.

Photo: Wenn

It's Cinco de Mayo today, and perhaps it's the two margaritas I poured over my cereal, but I think these pictures of Fergie from her weekend concert are actually good. I usually try and include words like "brown bag" and "buttaface" when posting on Fergie, but not today. Even more astonishing is this photo. Seriously, how can that be?

Photo: PRPhotos.com

That's the face of one happy guy. It's been confirmed that Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey got married. While early reports said that there was no prenup (which promoted this post in the first place), I now read on the Post that Mariah and Nick git "a quickie pre-nup". WTF does that mean? For Nick's sake I hope it meant that it came with a cheeseburger and fries and was written by a high school kid at a drive through window who calls himself 'The Judge'. If you're up for a ride on the Mimi crazy train you'd better have a good exit plan. Listening to Flipper while drinking Cristal out a slipper is going to get old at some point.

Photo: Wenn

Why you ask? Ah, why not? I figured I could either post on something timely and gossipy like Barbara Walters admitting to an affair in the 1970's with a US Sentor, or I could post nearly naked swimsuit models on the runway in Australia. Tough choice, but I think you'll agree I made the right call. And I'm not sure exactly how they size bikini tops in Australia, but when your boobs hang out the bottom, I'd say they've got it right.

Photo: Wenn

After Heidi and Spencer went on Tyra and swore there really was a Lauren Conrad sex tape, Jason Wahler continues to deny its existence.

"I do not have a sex tape of Lauren Conrad and one does not exist," Wahler said in a statement. "Spencer Pratt is lying again to get attention.

"Lauren is my friend," Wahler continues, "and it is insulting to her to suggest this."

This is turning into the mystery of the ages. But, no less of a mystery then the technology used to animate Heidi Montag from an old blow up doll. What isn't a mystery is that Lauren Conrad wears underwear. See, right here.

Photo: Wenn Source