After years in captivity the Tattooed Winehouse has been returned to her natural habitat. Immediately seeking shelter from nature photographers Amy squats in a bush perhaps tending to the call of nature. This chick's starting to make Britney Spears look like June Cleaver. WTF?

I probably should have put nsfw in the title of this post, but I don't think not safe for work even begins to cover it. I'm pretty sure you could look at your computer from the surface of the moon and these would still hurt your eyes. The SunUK reports that, in addition to being a beauty queen, Amy Winehouse headed butted some dude who hailed a cab for her. I'd believe it. You think this knows how to say the words 'thank you'. They also said:

Onlookers told how the married singer also SNOGGED a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks.

I'm not up on my British slang, but I think it means she Bar-b-qued somebody alive at a football game.

Source

 

Amy Winehouse is off the hook. Authorities announced in London that they are no longer investigating Amy for 'perverting justice' People reports.

In Deecmeber, Winehouse was arrested, and later released, in connection with an alleged plan to derail a criminal case against her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. The singer was due to return to the police station, but will now no longer be required to do so.

"Amy is pleased to be discounted from the investigation and thanks the police for their professionalism in their dealings with her," he rep, Tracey Miller said in a statement.

She may be cleared of that but Darwin's still deliberating over whether she's perverted the basic laws of evolution with the brood of raccoons she keeps on her head.

After failing to obtain a US Visa, Amy Winehouse will be performing live 'via satellite' at this year's Grammy Awards. How much cleavage does it take to get a Visa anyway? On the bright side the audience members at the Grammy will miss the smell of cigarettes, booze and whatever odor must emanate from that thing she wears on the top of her head.

Just days after being spotted wandering around the streets half-dressed, Amy Winehouse was seen buying stuff at a convenience store, looking like, well, Amy Winehouse. She starting to make Britney Spears look normal. I tell you, keeping up with the chick is like watching an episode of Animal Planet. "Seen here out of captivity and in her natural habitat the 'Iama Whinorous' forages for dinner. Her diet consists of refined coca leaves, eucalyptus bark and distilled grain. Known for her bulbous shaped cranial fur, she can store up to two months food on the top of her head. And amazingly she's the first one of her species to be nominated for six Grammy Awards."

Amy Winehouse has been booed off the stage yet again, this time at London's Hammersmith Apollo. WENN reports Winhouse, "surprised the crowd by appearing onstage with smeared make-up and a cigarette hanging from her lips. Winehouse disappeared several times throughout the incoherent performance, before storming off-stage when the audience began to boo and heckle the singer halfway through her set."
At this point I'm pretty sure you could just get on stage and shake an empty bottle of Whiskey filled with loose change and cigarettes and end up with something more musical. And entertaining. More intelligent. Oh, and sexier. Yeah, that too. Here's a few pictures for the Apollo gig so you can see what you're missing.