If you haven't yet heard, Jack Black outed Angelina Jolie on national television. (If only that really literally true.) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are having twins, single handedly repopulating the world with their bionic genes. Angelina Jolie does pregnancy so well she probably could repopulate the planet. You can watch the whole clip after the jump if you're really into Jack Black and babies. Unfortunately it includes Matt Lauer, but hopefully the 'twins' make up for it.

Photo: Wenn

Pictures from Angelina Jolie's teenage modeling career have surfaced. InTouch is running a bunch, much like what you see right here. She doesn't really look all that different. The pictures where taken when she was 16. And videotaped. See that clip after the jump, but don't be a perv about it. I mean the face is fuller and the boobies are smaller, but other than that it's clear the anti-aging machine I developed in my basement was a success.

Photo: InTouch

Wild rumors are flying that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins. X17 broke that scoop, but I'm not holding my breath. Of course Angelina shows up at the SAG Awards wearing a really loose flowing dress which only fuels the pregnancy rumors even more. Big deal. Have you seen one of these award shows? She's probably smuggling in a pony keg and a bucket of fried chicken. And nice shaggy colored hair on Brad Pitt. It's looks like a messy toupee.

Photo: PRPhotos.com

Forbes Magazine had the brilliant idea to create a list of the most influential infants in the world. Pitt and Jolie's baby Shiloh was named #1, followed by Suri Cruise and Zahara Jolie-Pitt. Influential babies? Seriously? WTF. Come on, do we really need a list of influential kids? What the hell are they influencing? About the only thing influential would be taking a good look at the parent's of a couple of these tykes and making a case for court ordered chastity. I was going to have pizza for dinner, but I was so moved by watching Suri eat mashed green beans that I think I'm a vegetarian now. Wait, wait, yes, I feel it. Suri's Scientologist stare, it's, ah, oh, crap, I can't stop it, Ahhhh, there, now I'm a Scientologist. These kid really are world changers.

The top ten babies are as follows:
1. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
2. Suri Cruise
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt
4. Sean Preston Federline
5. Pax Jolie-Pitt
6. Sam Alexis Woods (Tiger and Elin Woods)
7. David Banda (Madonna and Guy Ritchie)
8. Dannielynn Birkhead
9. Romeo Beckham
10. Cruz Beckham.

Photo: Wenn.com

Brad and Angelina hit the red carpet for the New York premiere of The Assassination of Jesse James at the Zeigfeld theater. Damn these two for being so good looking. I mean 9 of 10 women surveyed still pick me over Brad, and she could stand to put on a couple pounds, but, still - damn. Check out the Jesse James trailer here. Looks cool. Even cooler - Angelina Jolie getting naked in the upcoming Beowulf.

Photo: Wenn

Angelina Jolie stars in the upcoming Beowulf, and if you haven't yet heard their is full frontal nudity in a scene where she walks out of some water. But before you grease up your rod, keep in mind the entire movie is animated. But, it looks totally real. Really. This international trailer will give you an idea of the quality. The clip is not really NSFW, but ah, kind of. Angelina Jolie is nude, but it's not really her, so does that count? But she's not really nude either cause she's covered with some kind of swap scum or something. Damn I'm totally lost. Naked or not Angelie Jolie animated looks way real. Movie looks cool.

Angelina Jolie appeared on the John Stewart's Daily Show and told John that she and Brad want anywhere between "7 and 13 or 14 kids". It sounds like a joke really, but I think she was serious. The Daily Show interview comes on the heals of Jolie's red carpet demands that reporters only ask her questions about her new film A Mighty Heart - and not her personal life. The movie is ironically about freedom of the press. Fox News has the run down if you're interested in diving further into that steaming pool of hypocrisy.

13 or 14 kids eh? I'm not liking the sound of that. I've already signed up to be adopted as number 5 and if you think I'm competing with 8 or 9 more kids for sponge baths from Angelina those tykes got another thing coming!

Photo: Wenn.com | Source

The adoption is official. Angelina Jolie is now the legal parent of Pax Thein Jolie. People.com reports:

Jolie's rep says she took custody of the child on Thursday in Vietnam. They will remain in the country for about a week while the child's American passport is processed, the rep says.

The boy's name is Pax Thien Jolie, born in November 2003, according to the orphanage where he has lived. His name means Peaceful Sky – Pax is peace in Latin and Thien is sky in Vietnamese.

From this picture of Pax Jolie it looks like Angelina may have aged a bit on the trip to Veitnam, oh, wait, yeah, not her. Angelina's pretty much covered the globe with this adoption thing. Next up, the final frontier, that's right, space baby. Angelina's bringin' home the little green men. Source.

People reports that Brad and Angelina celebrated Thanksgiving in Ho Chi Minh City. Apparently by riding a scooter around and eating at a local restaurant. I can't think of any better way to celebrate a uniquely American holiday than touring Vietnam. Makes supreme sense really, like Britney Spears running for President or K-Fed becoming a brain surgeon.
Source.

Entertainment Tonight, the source of all things evil, had 'breaking news' tonight. A national radio station conducted a poll of listeners and 50% believed that the day Angelina Jolie gives birth should become a national holiday in Namibia. (or some such crap, the story was so ridiculous I'm hazy on the details, but it did air). All I know is that this is definitive proof that half the population is completely stupid, or drunk, or high. Now if you'd say the holiday should be called Angelina Jolie's hot-ass-MILF day, then I could get behind that, or on top, whatever she prefers.

File this one under People are stupid, Angelina Jolie is hot..

Avril Livne Says F-You
Excellent red carpet behavior.

Hungarian Porn
It's about time.

Teri Hatcher Almost Puts An Eye Out
Damn. Almost.

Angelina Jolie is Huge in Japan
Did I say Japan? I mean Africa.

Snoog Dogg Gets Caged in London
And it has nothing to do with weed (this time).

Trying to recover from my Oscar induced stupor. Hit this great post Oscar party at this place called The Basement. Lots of wine and hot chicks. Angelina even floated by around 2 am. That's when things got interesting. Interesting meaning The Basement is literally the basement in the house, and Angelina not being a fat pregnant Angelina Jolie, but the nickname for the blow up doll I fill with helium. Yeah, it was rockin. See this is the kind of story line the Oscars need to be watchable. I like John Stewart and all, but the Academy Awards just seem so, I don't know, old Hollywood. I don't know that people dig that stuff anymore. At the very least the Ocasrs need more red carpet nipple slips and see through dresses, ala the MTV Music Awards.

Who the hell could ever tell if this is real or fake, but an ultrasound of Angelina Jolie's baby is supposedly up for sale on eBay.com. Buying a nude photo on eBay would be personal enough, but it doesn't get much more up close than buying a picture of Angelina Jolie's uterus and baby. About the only thing I could think of more personal might be buying the ad space on the inside of Paris Hilton's vagina. And that can't be far off. Whether or not the Angelina Jolie ultrasound story is real or fake it's pretty crazy someone would sell it anyway. Even funnier is people like this jumping into the action.

People magazine is stretching out on a limb and reporting that Angelina Jolie is pregnant - presumably with Brad Pitt's baby. The magazine quotes a worker in the Dominican Republic as saying Angelina Jolie told him she was pregnant. The pregnancy has since been confirmed by Jolie and Pitt's representatives. Which is good, cause an aid worker in the Dominican Republic doesn't sound like that reliable of source. But I guess it better than the cattle rancher in Ethiopia who told me JT LeRoy is really a middle aged woman. Or maybe not. Jolie is filming a movie named The Good Shepherd with Matt Damon in the Dominican Republic.

File under Angelina Jolie Having a Baby.

Don't be yelling at us if this is totally fake, like Jessica Simpsons ass, but the News of the World is reporting that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby. Sounds like a shaky story, but it's our job to pass on this important of gossip. (yeah whatever). We've reported Jolie pregnancy rumors long ago, that were of course bogus. But I've also read that some of her clothes on set where fitting after the Christmas break. Someone of course attributes that to a growing stomach. Only thing for sure is that if Angelina Jolie is pregnant it's a big slap in the face to Jennifer Aniston and might strengthen old rumors that her break up with Pitt was partially due to differences over starting a family.

File under Angelina Jolie.

I'll admit it news to me that Angelina Jolie is a lesbian, or bisexual, though I'm not surprised by this at all. When a chick wears a vial of her lovers blood around her neck, and kisses her brother on the mouth on national TV, you can pretty much assure that she's up for some good stuff. In a recent interview Jolie's one time lesbian lover Jenny Shimizu spoke out on their 1993 relationship. Jolie and Jenny Shimizu apparently had a relationship in 1993 during the filming of the movie Foxfire. The thought of Angelina Jolie in some lesbian action with anyone is enough to melt your head, but when it's with a supermodel, you may require hospitalization. Holy crap. The article with Jenny Shimizu appears on ContactMusic.com where she talks about still having feelings for Angelina. Yeah who wouldn't.

File under Angelina Jolie, Jenny Shimizu, Lesbians.

Yahoo Entertainment is reporting that Brad Pitt has filed legal paperwork seeing to become the adoptive father of Angelina Jolie's children. In addition the last names of the kids would become hyphenated Jolie-Pitt. The stars publicist has confirmed the story. You know, that's cool, but how about just acting like f-ing adults and own up to the fact that you are in a committed relationship. Stop the celebrity gossip and just give us facts dammit. You know were all just waiting for the news that Brad and Angelina are engaged so we can plan the mega Pitt Jolie Vaughn Aniston 4-way wedding orgy.

File under Celebrity Gossip.

The tabloids are a buzz with rumblings about Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn getting engaged, or at least living together. And then you have some dunce on the set of Angelina's movie leaking news that supposedly Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are engaged. So the race is on. You've got to figure that each thinks the other one will look like the bigger ass if they get engaged first. It's seems Jolie and Pitt are all but ready to go, and recent photos of Jennifer Aniston with Vince Vaughn might suggest they are gaining ground quick. I think the thing to do here is to have a combo wedding Aniston and Vaughn, Jolie and Pitt, all at once. Hire Paris Hilton to dance nude on the head table and you've got yourself a hell of a party.

File under Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie.

The latest Brad and Angelina buzz is that Angelina Jolie is furious with Beowulf co-star Ray Winstone after Winstone leaded news to the press that Brad and Angelina are engaged. If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie really are engaged so what? Could no one figure out that was going to happen? Are Brad and Angelina under the impression that America is so dumb that they can't deduce they are a couple from the count photos on the net. Come on now. Who cares Angelina. It's no secret.

File under Angelina Jolie.

Femalefirst.co.uk is reporting rumors, that we are now reporting, that Angelina Jolie may be pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby. After reading the story I can't even discern a single fact of how they came the conclusion that Jolie is pregnant. They quote sources that say Brad spends hours in the bedroom with Jolie and that Brad's house is full of baby toys. Seeing as how he 'appears' to be dating Jolie, who has kids, this really shouldn't come as a surprise. Rumors that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Pitt's baby seem to be quite a stretch. I do wish Pitt and Jolie would just come clean about their relationship. They don't seem to be fooling anyone these days.

File under Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie pregnant?.

And apparently neither are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. After weeks of rumors swirling around whether Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were getting married at one of George Clooney's Italian villa George has finally spoken out and said the wedding rumors are false. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's divorce will soon be finalized so anything could really happen. It's hard for the average bear to think that something isn't going on between Pitt and Jolie with the amount of visibility the two have had.

This is one of those headlines I love. Front page news. Brad and Angelina went to a museum with Maddox to look at dinosaurs. Apparently to do research from one of their upcoming films. What's next - Tom Cruise goes out for a big gulp? I went to Starbuck's today. Why isn't that news. Oh. I'm not famous. Sucks for them I guess. And they say that Pitt and Jolie aren't dating. Whatever. When you start hitting museum with woman, that definitely means you're getting married. Everyone knows that. Especially when you can manage to get some action behind the T-Rex like I did.

File under Angelina Jolie.

The Associated Press is reporting that Angelina Jolie has filed papers to adobpt an orphaned Ethiopian baby girl. Jolie has been qouted saying that the name of the less than one year old child is Zahara Marley Jolie. Angelina currently has an adopted son, Maddox. This would seem to squash the rumors that Jolie was pregnant. Though the romantic link between her and Brad Pitt still remains up in the air, as does whether or not her involvement with Pitt contributed to the end of Pitt's marriage to Jennifer Aniston.

Where'd that damn home pregnancy test go? I'm guessing that's Brad's response after seeing his and Angelina Jolie's picture on every freakin supermarket gossip rag. Holy crap already. But I'm sure that crazy Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are enjoying the break, or are they? I guess we'll have to wait and see if there is a baby Jolie on the way. That'd make Brad and Angelina look like bigger liars than Tom and Katie. Wouldn't it now.

A blond Brad Pitt? Have you seen this? One word - RETARDED. What the hell was he thinking. Has Angelina Jolie's strange ass blood vial wearing behavior worn off on him. Find the photos and laugh at Pitt's hair yourself. Come on dude.

Brad Pitt is to appear on PrimeTime Live Tuesday at 10 pm on ABC. Just five months since his spearation from Jennifer Aniston, Pitt has the rumor mill churning fast about his relationship with Angelina Jolie.

Pitt and Jolie appear together in the upcoming film Mr. and Mrs. Smith. So it begs the question - may we one day see a Mr and Mrs. Pitt.

I could see the combo working Angelina Jolie's got kind of an off-the-wall perspective, free spirited groove that fits Pitt's personality - better than Jennifer Aniston did.

Guess we'll have to wait and see.