This picture of Britney Spears with a pregnant looking belly is everywhere. It's got to be Photoshopped. The laws of nature won't allow two Spears girls to be pregnant at once. For that matter not even one should be allowed, but I don't control these thing - yet. The smoking and butt scratching do make perfect sense, but as for the 'pregnant belly' - I'm guessing the shot was taken after she spent an hour going in circles through a KFC drive through.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline went to court yesterday to work out new visitation rights for Britney. There almost isn't anything to make fun of. Well, OK, lots really, but somehow Britney's managed to curb her nightly trips to Rite-Aid restrooms, put on a bra and stopped talking like a she's from another country. In exchange for her more 'normal' behavior she was granted additional time with the rug rats.

Photo: Wenn Source

Rumors are that Britney Spears has been keeping a video diary during her troubled times. Mirror UK reports that she may release them on the internet or even as a series on MTV.

"Britney's video diaries are the talk of the Tinseltown elite," we're told. "Her high-profile friends and exes - including Justin - knew what she was up to but assumed she was filming herself as a form of therapy. If she does decide to go public with the footage, it'll be explosive.

Although some of it is really sad to watch - especially the parts where she's close to breakdown - others are dynamite. Not surprisingly both JT and Kevin Federline are terrified the material will end up all over the net

If you're wondering just how juicy a video diary by Britney could be, then watch this classic Britney clip. Her intellect knows no bounds.

Britney Spears had a busy weekend. She was spotted shopping on Sunset wearing not one, but two wedding rings, and took a conveniently place pole right to the forehead. The blow to the head might be the only possible explanation for Britney actually wearing underwear. Man, what is the world coming to. Ok well it's not really underwear. It looks more like ripped denim shorts. WT underwear I guess.

Photo: Wenn

A court ruling has extended Jamie Spears' control of Britney, 'the adult child's' estate until July 31st. E! News reports:

No other details were given, but the temporary power Britney's dad has had over her affairs was scheduled to expire on Monday, and it's well-documented that Jamie and his attorneys have been adamant about stopping efforts made on Britney's behalf to wrest control away from the conservators, including a recent move apparently orchestrated by Sam Lutfi to transfer the case to federal court.

You've really just have to keep laughing. Britney's estate is estimated to be $100 million and she's been reduced to the equivalent of a rich college kid living out her parents basement having to beg for money to make a keg run for Saturday night when the kids come over for a visit. Here's some recent pictures of more braless shopping with Dad's money.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears has regained some limited visitation rights with her children. According to TMZ, both her lawyers and K-fed's have brokered a deal for Britney to see the kids.

The kids can visit with momma, provided Jamie Spears and her psychiatrist are present. There are other strings, but at a minimum Jamie and the shrink are required.

Really, does anybody care what happens with Britney anymore? I mean, am ready to move on to Jamie Lynn.

I've just spent the last five minutes checking my calendar and dropping things off my roof trying to; a) determine if it was Aprils fools day, or b) test gravity to assure myself I wasn't living in a parallel universe. Why you ask? Because I just read that Britney taught a class of 4-7 year-olds how to dance. People reports that Britney Spears conducted a dance class for kids at Millennium Dance studio where parents willingly allowed their children to let Britney lead them in dance wearing ripped fishnets and smoking like Thomas the Train.

In addition to choreographed routines to vintage Madonna songs "True Blue" and "Material Girl" and "Holiday," Spears – wearing ripped fishnets, red boy-shorts and a blue top – also allowed her pupils to free-style dance.

"She even played age-appropriate games in a circle, pretending to be a choo-choo train," Baker said. "Britney was just amazing with the kids and everyone ended up having a blast. At the end of the hour class, all the kids hugged Britney and she seemed very happy."

Are these people out of their mind? This story can't be really true. Look at those pictures. Parent's are letting 'that' teach their kids? Maybe this was like one of those hard knocks lessons, like, "look kids, you shape up or we'll send you to see that crazy lady again - everyday!".

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears left the hospital yesterday. And things are pretty much back to normal, well normal for her. Having paparazzi photographers drive her around, leaving bodyguards on the site of the road and acting generally nuts. As you might imagine Britney's parents weren't any too pleased. In a statement released to CNN they said:

"As parents of an adult child in the throws (sic) of a mental health crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, our daughter Britney was released from the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe. We are deeply concerned about our daughter's safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk. There are conservatorship orders in place created to protect our daughter that are being blatantly disregarded. We ask only that the court's orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted."

I love how they refer to her as an adult child, do they mean their child who is an adult, or an adult who's essentially a child. Makes it sound like she's retarded. I don't know what kind of doctor would let Britney Spears back on the street, but I'm guessing you'll find a bag of shrunken heads under his desk and little dolls pull of pins. And unless those dolls look just like Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi, Britney's in for more trouble.

Photo: Wenn

If you're to believe what Lynne Spears has to say Britney is not really crazy - instead she was being drugged by manager / friend Sam Lutfi.

In a six-page declaration, Lynne Spears says that when she and her friend Jackie arrived at her daughter's house, Lutfi -  a constant companion of Britney - revealed he was giving her drugs.

"Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney's pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdol and Seroquel," Lynne says.

"He told us that he puts them in her food and that was the reason she had been quiet for the last three days," Lynne continues. "She had been sleeping. He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could give her drugs to heal her brain."

Lutfi also demanded that Lynne do what he ordered, according to Lynne.

Wow, that's some crazy stuff. Keep in mind these are only allegations, but Sam Lutfi sounds like quite the mastermind. I don't get it though, what kind of dumb ass move is it turn someone into a walking zombie who has to pee every five minutes at RiteAid and walks around thinking she's British. Where's the fun in that? If you're going to bust some mind control mind moves on a chick turn her into something cool like a nymphomaniac-workout-addict who likes to clean the house and rob banks. What kind of dumb ass move is to turn Britney Spears into Britney Spears?

Photo: wenn.com | Source

Morning Crazy Train Update
I just couldn't be bothered to actual create a new post. So to update Friday's fiasco People.com now reports that Britney be in the clink for 14 more days and may have her attorneys object to the courts ruling that set up the conservatorship with her father in charge. It may not even matter what she tells her attorney's to do because technically Jamie, as conservator, has the power to fire them, which is totally comical.

From Friday:

A Los Angeles court has stepped up and given legal control of Britney Spears to her father Jamie Spears. In attempt to save Britney from herself a temporary 'conservatorship' is in effect until Monday.

Jamie now has the power to restrict any visitors to Britney. He is also in charge of arranging 24-hour caretakers for her, as well as security.

In addition, the judge gave Jamie the power to cut off all of the singer’s credit cards and to prosecute any restraining orders on her behalf.

Man, Britney really went batshit crazy. I guess you can only go around so long swinging umbrellas and speaking in an English accent before a court steps in and gives you back to your parents. Where's the court order allowing the general public to strap Adnan and Sam to a rocket and fire them into space? I'm pretty sure that could only help matters - and probably Britney too.

Photo: wenn.com | Source

Britney Spears was taken to the hospital, again, for psychiatric evaluation. Technially called a 5150 it means she's going to be watched for 72 hours. And even though the trip was voluntary and Britney went without incident it apparently still required a police motorcade of over a dozen motorcycle officers. WTF? These guys have nothing better to do then follow Britney in an ambulance? Who's out fighting the crime and watching the streets? Can you imagine what those cops must be thinking chasing Britney to the hospital? "I can't believe we've got to do this again. Isn't this broad cured yet? What can arrest Sam Lutif for? There's got to be something. Damn it all. I thought they gave her a lobotomy last time? We should be doing important work, like protecting Hef and the Bunnies at the mansion."

Here's some details of last night's 'shocking' turn of events. And some pictures of Britney from yesterday.

Last night, Britney's new psychiatrist went to her home and felt she was a danger to herself and others -- partly because of her reckless driving and partly because of her "downhill behavior." As a result, the shrink launched a plan (days in the making) to have Britney committed to UCLA Medical Center by calling the cops. - TMZ

"She'll be in there for at least 72 hours getting evaluated. She might even stay longer," says the source. "She's more comfortable this time, she came into the waiting area, had a cigarette, made a joke about being there again. But who knows what will happen. All we can hope for is that she gets better." - People

And it appears Britney might now be leaving L.A. to get away from the attention (yeah right)

Following last night's intervention and subsequent hospitalization, Lynne has decided that she is taking Britney out of L.A. as soon as she's released from UCLA Medical Center. "Lynne is extremely concerned for her daughter and would like to take Britney back home to Louisiana and get her out of Hollywood," Britney's lawyer Michael Flanagan told PageSix.com exclusively. - PageSize

Photo: Wenn

How's that for a headline? Britney Spears was spotted going to a dance rehearsal at the Millennium Dance Studio to rehearse for God knows what. Dancing? The video looks like something you'd see shot through a crack in the locker room wall. But this is professional reporting, right? I shot some video like this once for my journalism class and got an A, so it must be. Britney demonstrates her dance moves for about three minutes and then near end of the video shows you how she rehearses for her daily life. Basically she changes her shirt and her boob falls out. Which is what she seems to do in every clothing store in L.A. The clip is mildly nsfw, totally creeping and somehow compelling.

Perhaps Britney Spears isn't as stupid as looks. (K. Stop laughing already). The latest Britney Spears rumor is she has been tipping off the paparazzi photographers as to where she's going and when. Brit's pal Sam Lutfi was deposed by Kevin Federline's attorneys and sources say part of the questioning involved whether or not he helped Britney strike a deal with photo agency x17 for payouts on photos. E! online reports:

A member of the Spears camp told E! News that no matter what, "Sam would never sell [Spears] out. There is no bigger supporter of Britney than Sam. I can't imagine Kaplan is going to get much out of him."

Speculation that Spears was in cahoots with the paparazzi intensified this week, when photog Alison Silva told the New York Post the singer tips off the hordes of shutterbugs to her every move.

"Britney is in on it. [She] calls the paparazzi before she goes out. We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It's all staged," Silva said.

I wouldn't be surprised one bit it Britney was collecting payola from agencies in exchange for a tip off. What is surprising is that someone would schedule photographers to snap pictures of them and then continue to act like a total retard. The lack of underwear, bras and general class makes the whole evil genius thing fall apart - though she does have the British accent working, so maybe.

Photo: Wenn

It seems despite numerous break up rumors and even mentions of retraining orders, photographer Adnan Ghalib and Britney Spears are still together. Here are recent pictures of Adnan and Britney with a giant stain on her shirt looking sharp. And it sounds like Adnan's game for having a baby with Britney.

Adnan Ghalib told "The Insider" and "Entertainment Tonight" that the pop star bought a pregnancy test because she was "hoping" she was with child.

"I think she felt she was," said Ghalib, 35, adding that the test was negative.

As Ghalib was admitting his sexual relationship with Spears yesterday, his wife of four years, AzLynn Berry, filed for separation, citing "irreconcilable differences." Earlier this week, Berry said that she and Ghalib were "living together as man and wife" until Britney came along.

It blows my mind someone would even dare to procreate with Britney at this point. Can this story possibly be real? A court order (and all forms of common sense) say she shouldn't be around the kids she has now.

Photo: Wenn | Source

Britney Spears was spotted checking out pregnancy tests with boyfriend Adnan Ghalib on one of their daily sojourns to RiteAid. I have no doubt it's conceivable Britney Spears is pregnant again, but I'd say it's more likely that the two them confused the pregnancy tests with a box of lollipops.

In more Britney news Life and Style reported that Britney stripped naked in front of employees at the Betsey Johnson store and then spend 45 minutes in the dressing room with him 'making weird noises'. Which would have lot to do with why Britney needed to buy a pregnancy test. Expect that I think one occurred after the other. Who knows really. You'd need a team of scientists to even begin to figure out exactly what these two are up to. Hearing Adnan and Britney decided to have a baby while waiting in line at Starbucks is about as believable as anything else she does.

There was yet another custody hearing yesterday to determine visitation rights for Britney Spears. As usually it was a giant media circus, Britney showed up late, and let almost immediately to get mexican food at Gaucho Grill. Seriously. It's those little details that make is so much more entertaining isn't it. Like Britney running around in her old wedding dress. Yeah, the same one she wore to a car dealership last week. How retarded can she be? And what do you know, the judge ruled that the orders put into effect on Jan 4th (when Britney lost all visitation rights) are to stay in effect until another hearing in February. Here's a bunch of pictures chronicling her day yesterday. So if there are any moms out there fighting for custody of their children they love, take notes. This is how a pro does it.

Photo: Wenn

Rumor has it that short-lived boytoy and paparazzi photographer Adnan Ghalib is shopping semi nude photos of Britney Spears from their weekend together. X17 reports that Adnan's agency shopped the nude photos to the UK tabs but failed to fetch the $5 million they were after. Instead the shots were reportedly sold to an Australian agenecy Finalpixx for only $57 G because they 'weren't very good'.

Wow, so naked photos of Britney Spears won't sell for millions? Who would have guessed. First, we've already seen Britney semi-nude about a million times. Hell, she drives around town semi-nude - see. Second, almost everyone in the free world has already seem her vagina - more than once. Hell, half of them have probably been through it's turnstyle.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears is back in LA and spent the evening braless and carless. Her white Mercedes got a flat tire while driving in traffic through Brentwood. And like any good driver does, Britney just left the car in the middle of the road and hitched a ride with a paparazzi photographer.

Also on the paparazzi front Britney has reportedly dumped photog Adnan Ghalib who is rumored to be selling photos of their weekend together. I'm not a rocket scientist (yet), but I'd figure that if you're going to shack up with a paparazzi photographer he's going to take naked pictures of you. It's in his blood. It's what he does. Just like the video camera I'd hide in the closet to film us having sex. Wait, did I say "I"? No, no, I mean the paparazzi, yeah, that's it. Them.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears is free today after spending most of the weekend in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center under 'observation'. Dr. Phil even got his giant head into the act and 'at the request of her family' visited her in the hospital to try and work his voodoo and cure Britney. After being released Britney and paparazzi hook up Adnan Ghalib fled LA.

Brit and Ghalib were spotted at the Daily Grill in Palm Desert around 10:00 AM on Sunday, seemingly unmolested by the paparazzi. What's more, despite the drama of the days before, Britney "seemed in a really good mood, laughing with the guy she was with." She shielded herself behind large, dark sunglasses and "had a champagne mimosa to drink."

Wouldn't it be awesome if Britney actual did the Dr. Phil Show. It's be like watching monkeys perform brain surgery. They could film the whole thing from a Starbucks while Britney sucked down lattes.

Photo: Wenn | [Vegas Confidential via TMZ]

There's more Britney Spears crazy watch news minute by minute. Here's fresh video of her being wheeled out of her house last night on a gurney. We posted earlier that a police code 5150 (meaning crazy person) was used and it looks like they had to strap her down. If you look closely you'll see that both of her arms were in restraints and she appears to be kicking her legs. What a meltdown.

Video from TMZ

Life&Style reports that blood tests taken at Cedars-Senai hospital confirm Britney Spears was not on drugs when she flipped out last night and wouldn't give her kids up to KFed. Well hey, alrighty then. Send her home and bring the kids back over to crazy town. The world can only handle one celebrity at a time falling off the wagon, at a time, and let's face it, Britney's hair was just beginning to return to it's naturally nappy state, it'd be a shame to have it go completely nuts and shave it off again. And the kids got so see the big fire trucks and stuff, and stay up late, so that was cool.

Source

Breaking news this morning. Late last night Britney Spears was taken away in an ambulance after refusing to turn over her two sons to Kevin Federline. Police were called to Britney's home at about 8 pm last night for a 'custodial dispute'. Police code 5150 was reported used. 5150 is apparently California code for a legal involuntary 72 hour psychiatric hold. (Basically, throw 'em in the looney bin)

At nearly midnight Britney left her house in an ambulance and was taken to Cedar-Sinai Medical Center. Her sons Sean Preston and Jayden James were also take to the hospital to be evaluated. Early this morning the boys were released and taken home with Kevin Federline. Britney remains in the hospital under observation as a special needs patient.

Officer Jason Lee of the Los Angeles Police Department told City News Service that Spears appeared to be under the influence of an "unknown substance."

Man, looks like she finally flipped out. A full-fledged Britney Spears meltdown. Just too bad the kids were around when it happened. Stay tuned.

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Britney Spears latest group of lawyers have had enough. In papers filed yesterday they have asked the court to withdraw as council in her custody case. People reports:

"There has been a breakdown in communications between (Spears) and Trope & Trope (law firm) making further representation of her interests impossible," says the document.

Keep in mind this is her third lawyer and she just missed another deposition. I feel sorry for these guys. Representing Britney is like trying to prove a retarded chimp is fit to fly the space shuttle. At least the chimp doesn't run around peeing in every Walgreens and stealing lighters.

Photo: Wenn

Britney went out for a holiday dinner and then led the paparazzi on a crazy adventure through some of her favorite haunts - you know, gas stations and Walgreen's bathrooms.

She made not one, but two toilet stops - the first at Walgreens 24-hour pharmacy where she came out holding a video camera, and the second at a gas station where she held her nose until she returned to her car. Her peculiar behaviour didn't stop there - the singer made another spontaneous stop to take pictures of a building before taking refuge in a photographers car.

At this point it's hard to tell if Britney's lost her mind or diabolically smart just leading these idiots around for the hell of it.

Photo | Source: Wenn

Britney Spears managed to skip a scheduled deposition because, as her lawyers put it, she was a 'medical condition'.

Spears's friend Sam Lufti tells PEOPLE in an e-mail: "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much."

Apparently this is the fourth time Britney has avoided being deposed this year. The deposition is to try and determine if Kevin Federline will get primary custody of the children. Due justice is cool and all, but do we really need all this formality? Who in their right mind is going to give primary custody of the kids to Britney's. She'd have then amped up on Starbucks, running around swinging umbrellas and running heists out of liquor stores.

Photo: Wenn.com

Britney Spears was spotted once again dressed like a hooker with that damn pink wig and a skirt that really didn't even qualify as a skirt. I'm pretty sure when your ass hangs out of the back of your clothing it's not really a skirt anymore. I'm all for wardrobe creativity, but if you're going to less your ass hang out of stuff your name better be Jessica Alba.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears was seen leaving a gas station convenience store stealing a cigarette lighter. She paid from some items amidst a bunch of paparazzi and then snagged a lighter on the way out and held it up to the cameraman. Lame move when you make like $75K a month. But not nearly as lame as the guy shooting the video telling Britney she always looks gorgeous and asking her if she was upset. What a tool. Upset? Dude, you're filming her buying tampons at a gas station so some jackass can post it on their web site. Wait, uhm, ah Yeah, dude you're awesome! Keep up the good work.

Britney Spears put in an appearance at the Scandinavian Style Mansion while spending an evening celebrating her 26th birthday. The event hosted by Sharon Stone at a Mansion in Bel Air also had Paris Hilton and Brittny Bastineau on hand. I have no idea what the real event was about, but I can tell you it wasn't intended to be a birthday party for Britney. Let's face it, anything with 'Scandinavian Style' in the title has nothing at all to do with Britney Spears. She couldn't possibly spell Scandinavian, and Style? Yeah, stop laughing already.

Photo: PRPhotos.com

The tabloids are buzzing this morning with rumors that Britney Spears is pregnant. InTouchWeekly reports that Britney told her friends via email that she is four weeks pregnant. The reported father is J.R. Rotem, a music producer. The email also was said to contain an ultrasound of Britney's new baby.

The story sounds pretty fishy. An ultrasound of a four week old baby? It's like the size of grain of rice. Of course Britney did have a cast of look-a-like stand-ins in matching blonde wigs on the set of her new video, but I'd guess that had more to do with sheer laziness than morning sickness. And I would have thought the laws of nature would have long ago stopped her ability to procreate in an effort to preserve a sustainable gene pool for future generations. It sounds far fetched, I know, but just stop and think - with all that sex has Paris Hilton gotten pregnant yet? Huh, huh? See.

Photo: Wenn.com

Britney has been 'hard at work' shooting her new video Piece of Me, which apparently involves a bunch of body doubles. Having a bunch of look-a-likes makes it a lot easier for her to fall asleep in the corner under a bunch of coats without anyone noticing. I'm pretty sure these are professional actors, because it would take a lot of work for the average person to actually imitate Britney Spears. Can you just imagine these girls getting into character on their way to the set - strapping the kids to the top of the car, running all those stop signs, having sex with random people on the way. That stuff takes skill.

Photo: Wenn

US Magazine has video of Britney Spears once again demonstrating her awesome driving skills. Being chased down by paparazzi photographers Britney is caught rolling a bunch of stop signs. And in other news her lawyers claim she's being treated unfairly by possibly receiving 24 months of probation for driving without a valid drivers license. Let's face it, we're all lucky at this point she hasn't gone all Dukes of Hazzard and starting fly over Melrose Ave. That new convertible Mercedes she has does make it a lot easier to jump into the car without opening the doors, especially with the kids.

Source

Surrounded by paparazzi photographers, Britney Spears ran over another person's foot. In the video you can clearly hear the guy yelling. I think this make three? And one of those feet was attached to a cop. Seriously though, it's ridiculous. How is someone supposed to drive an expensive car like that when you're surround by a bunch of people bending over the hood?They're in the way and that's what happens, stuff get's run over. Britney should just attached one of those big metal things you see on the front of old trains. She could just plow through the photographers and they'd got flying. She could also take the kids for a ride on it when they're too big to fit in her lap.

Britney Spears ran a red light last night with her kids in her car. Video of her running the light demonstrates she's far more interested in escaping a few photographers than, you know, worring about her kids, the safety of others, that kind of trivial shit. On the off chance she was on her way to the clinic to get her mothering genes replacement, a IV of common sense and a breast lift - I'll give her a pass. Hell, even one out of three might have been worth it.

Britney Spears was spotted this weekend out shopping for chandeliers. I can imagine it's a pretty big job, one that warrants leaving your kids in the car to make sure you find just the right one. After all, it's got to match her current decor just right. And from the little I know about chandeliers, I do know that they don't usually come pre-covered in dirty underwear and bras. It's nice to see she's using her limited visitation to spend quality time with the kids. "OK Jayden, now once Mommy covers this new light full of underwear, you get a sister! Now you and your brother go hook up the wires while I take a big fat nap."

Photo: Wenn

New court documents recently released outline in detail the monthly spending habits of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Apparently KFed earned half a mil in 2006. How is that even possible? Tell me a chimp cured cancer, I'll listen, but $500K to KFed. No way. Britney makes a cool $737K - per month. And Britney's clothing budget is $16,000 a month! And that's without underwear? Here's a run down of their monthly budgets, you know, to make you feel better about your crappy paycheck. And if you're wondering what kind of spectacular fall fashions $16,000 can buy you, click on any of the pictures below.

Britney's Expenses:
$102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
$49,267 on mortgage payments
$16,000 on clothes
$4,758 on eating out
$2,500 on phone bills


Kevin's Expenses:
$5,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
$7,500 on rent
$2,000 on clothes
$1,500 on eating out

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears apparently hung out with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo a few nights ago. Spears and Romo ate at the same LA restaurant, Katchup, last weekend and the rumor mills started spinning when Spears assistant Alli Sims introduced the two. Somehow that lead to rumors that Britney gave Tony Romo a lapdance.

Speaking exclusively to PEOPLE this week, Sims staunchly refuted some reports that Spears had performed a lap dance for Romo.

"The story is untrue," says Sims, 26. "Tony is a gentleman, and Britney wouldn't do that, especially to a good friend of mine."

Britney wouldn't do that to a 'good friend'. Since when does that matter? Let's recall, Britney supposedly got topless and partied with a random college student a while back. And she'd probably give a lapdance to a fire hydrant if you painted it to look like a giant frappuccino. And while where at it, Tony Romo needs to get his shit together too. The guy could have any piece of tail he wanted (and probably has). The mere introduction to Spears life-sucking-force should have sent him running to the nearest supermodel. Here's a few recent pictures of Britney so you can figure out just how fast Romo should have run.

Photo: Wenn | Source