In an effort to fill your weekend with all things awesome (stick daggers in your ears) here's a most awesome compilation of Britney Spears' live performances. What's so great you say? She's not naked? Well, true, but somehow they've managed to isolate the real vocals from her on stage microphone. So you get to hear her, real ah singing as opposed to the track that is actually being played. Wow. It's mind blowing unparalleled talent (FAIL).
This picture of Britney Spears with a pregnant looking belly is everywhere. It's got to be Photoshopped. The laws of nature won't allow two Spears girls to be pregnant at once. For that matter not even one should be allowed, but I don't control these thing - yet. The smoking and butt scratching do make perfect sense, but as for the 'pregnant belly' - I'm guessing the shot was taken after she spent an hour going in circles through a KFC drive through.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline went to court yesterday to work out new visitation rights for Britney. There almost isn't anything to make fun of. Well, OK, lots really, but somehow Britney's managed to curb her nightly trips to Rite-Aid restrooms, put on a bra and stopped talking like a she's from another country. In exchange for her more 'normal' behavior she was granted additional time with the rug rats. Source
Rumors are that Britney Spears has been keeping a video diary during her troubled times. Mirror UK reports that she may release them on the internet or even as a series on MTV.
"Britney's video diaries are the talk of the Tinseltown elite," we're told. "Her high-profile friends and exes - including Justin - knew what she was up to but assumed she was filming herself as a form of therapy. If she does decide to go public with the footage, it'll be explosive.
Although some of it is really sad to watch - especially the parts where she's close to breakdown - others are dynamite. Not surprisingly both JT and Kevin Federline are terrified the material will end up all over the net
If you're wondering just how juicy a video diary by Britney could be, then watch this classic Britney clip. Her intellect knows no bounds.
Britney Spears had a busy weekend. She was spotted shopping on Sunset wearing not one, but two wedding rings, and took a conveniently place pole right to the forehead. The blow to the head might be the only possible explanation for Britney actually wearing underwear. Man, what is the world coming to. Ok well it's not really underwear. It looks more like ripped denim shorts. WT underwear I guess.
A court ruling has extended Jamie Spears' control of Britney, 'the adult child's' estate until July 31st. E! News reports:
No other details were given, but the temporary power Britney's dad has had over her affairs was scheduled to expire on Monday, and it's well-documented that Jamie and his attorneys have been adamant about stopping efforts made on Britney's behalf to wrest control away from the conservators, including a recent move apparently orchestrated by Sam Lutfi to transfer the case to federal court.
You've really just have to keep laughing. Britney's estate is estimated to be $100 million and she's been reduced to the equivalent of a rich college kid living out her parents basement having to beg for money to make a keg run for Saturday night when the kids come over for a visit. Here's some recent pictures of more braless shopping with Dad's money.
Britney Spears has regained some limited visitation rights with her children. According to TMZ, both her lawyers and K-fed's have brokered a deal for Britney to see the kids.
The kids can visit with momma, provided Jamie Spears and her psychiatrist are present. There are other strings, but at a minimum Jamie and the shrink are required.
Really, does anybody care what happens with Britney anymore? I mean, am ready to move on to Jamie Lynn.
I've just spent the last five minutes checking my calendar and dropping things off my roof trying to; a) determine if it was Aprils fools day, or b) test gravity to assure myself I wasn't living in a parallel universe. Why you ask? Because I just read that Britney taught a class of 4-7 year-olds how to dance. People reports that Britney Spears conducted a dance class for kids at Millennium Dance studio where parents willingly allowed their children to let Britney lead them in dance wearing ripped fishnets and smoking like Thomas the Train.
In addition to choreographed routines to vintage Madonna songs "True Blue" and "Material Girl" and "Holiday," Spears – wearing ripped fishnets, red boy-shorts and a blue top – also allowed her pupils to free-style dance.
"She even played age-appropriate games in a circle, pretending to be a choo-choo train," Baker said. "Britney was just amazing with the kids and everyone ended up having a blast. At the end of the hour class, all the kids hugged Britney and she seemed very happy."
Are these people out of their mind? This story can't be really true. Look at those pictures. Parent's are letting 'that' teach their kids? Maybe this was like one of those hard knocks lessons, like, "look kids, you shape up or we'll send you to see that crazy lady again - everyday!".
Britney Spears left the hospital yesterday. And things are pretty much back to normal, well normal for her. Having paparazzi photographers drive her around, leaving bodyguards on the site of the road and acting generally nuts. As you might imagine Britney's parents weren't any too pleased. In a statement released to CNN they said:
"As parents of an adult child in the throws (sic) of a mental health crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, our daughter Britney was released from the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe. We are deeply concerned about our daughter's safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk. There are conservatorship orders in place created to protect our daughter that are being blatantly disregarded. We ask only that the court's orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted."
I love how they refer to her as an adult child, do they mean their child who is an adult, or an adult who's essentially a child. Makes it sound like she's retarded. I don't know what kind of doctor would let Britney Spears back on the street, but I'm guessing you'll find a bag of shrunken heads under his desk and little dolls pull of pins. And unless those dolls look just like Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi, Britney's in for more trouble.
If you're to believe what Lynne Spears has to say Britney is not really crazy - instead she was being drugged by manager / friend Sam Lutfi.
In a six-page declaration, Lynne Spears says that when she and her friend Jackie arrived at her daughter's house, Lutfi - a constant companion of Britney - revealed he was giving her drugs.
"Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney's pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdol and Seroquel," Lynne says.
"He told us that he puts them in her food and that was the reason she had been quiet for the last three days," Lynne continues. "She had been sleeping. He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could give her drugs to heal her brain."
Lutfi also demanded that Lynne do what he ordered, according to Lynne.
Wow, that's some crazy stuff. Keep in mind these are only allegations, but Sam Lutfi sounds like quite the mastermind. I don't get it though, what kind of dumb ass move is it turn someone into a walking zombie who has to pee every five minutes at RiteAid and walks around thinking she's British. Where's the fun in that? If you're going to bust some mind control mind moves on a chick turn her into something cool like a nymphomaniac-workout-addict who likes to clean the house and rob banks. What kind of dumb ass move is to turn Britney Spears into Britney Spears?
Morning Crazy Train Update I just couldn't be bothered to actual create a new post. So to update Friday's fiasco People.com now reports that Britney be in the clink for 14 more days and may have her attorneys object to the courts ruling that set up the conservatorship with her father in charge. It may not even matter what she tells her attorney's to do because technically Jamie, as conservator, has the power to fire them, which is totally comical.
From Friday:
A Los Angeles court has stepped up and given legal control of Britney Spears to her father Jamie Spears. In attempt to save Britney from herself a temporary 'conservatorship' is in effect until Monday.
Jamie now has the power to restrict any visitors to Britney. He is also in charge of arranging 24-hour caretakers for her, as well as security.
In addition, the judge gave Jamie the power to cut off all of the singer’s credit cards and to prosecute any restraining orders on her behalf.
Man, Britney really went batshit crazy. I guess you can only go around so long swinging umbrellas and speaking in an English accent before a court steps in and gives you back to your parents. Where's the court order allowing the general public to strap Adnan and Sam to a rocket and fire them into space? I'm pretty sure that could only help matters - and probably Britney too.
Britney Spears was taken to the hospital, again, for psychiatric evaluation. Technially called a 5150 it means she's going to be watched for 72 hours. And even though the trip was voluntary and Britney went without incident it apparently still required a police motorcade of over a dozen motorcycle officers. WTF? These guys have nothing better to do then follow Britney in an ambulance? Who's out fighting the crime and watching the streets? Can you imagine what those cops must be thinking chasing Britney to the hospital? "I can't believe we've got to do this again. Isn't this broad cured yet? What can arrest Sam Lutif for? There's got to be something. Damn it all. I thought they gave her a lobotomy last time? We should be doing important work, like protecting Hef and the Bunnies at the mansion."
Here's some details of last night's 'shocking' turn of events. And some pictures of Britney from yesterday.
Last night, Britney's new psychiatrist went to her home and felt she was a danger to herself and others -- partly because of her reckless driving and partly because of her "downhill behavior." As a result, the shrink launched a plan (days in the making) to have Britney committed to UCLA Medical Center by calling the cops. - TMZ
"She'll be in there for at least 72 hours getting evaluated. She might even stay longer," says the source. "She's more comfortable this time, she came into the waiting area, had a cigarette, made a joke about being there again. But who knows what will happen. All we can hope for is that she gets better." - People
And it appears Britney might now be leaving L.A. to get away from the attention (yeah right)
Following last night's intervention and subsequent hospitalization, Lynne has decided that she is taking Britney out of L.A. as soon as she's released from UCLA Medical Center. "Lynne is extremely concerned for her daughter and would like to take Britney back home to Louisiana and get her out of Hollywood," Britney's lawyer Michael Flanagan told PageSix.com exclusively. - PageSize
How's that for a headline? Britney Spears was spotted going to a dance rehearsal at the Millennium Dance Studio to rehearse for God knows what. Dancing? The video looks like something you'd see shot through a crack in the locker room wall. But this is professional reporting, right? I shot some video like this once for my journalism class and got an A, so it must be. Britney demonstrates her dance moves for about three minutes and then near end of the video shows you how she rehearses for her daily life. Basically she changes her shirt and her boob falls out. Which is what she seems to do in every clothing store in L.A. The clip is mildly nsfw, totally creeping and somehow compelling.
Perhaps Britney Spears isn't as stupid as looks. (K. Stop laughing already). The latest Britney Spears rumor is she has been tipping off the paparazzi photographers as to where she's going and when. Brit's pal Sam Lutfi was deposed by Kevin Federline's attorneys and sources say part of the questioning involved whether or not he helped Britney strike a deal with photo agency x17 for payouts on photos. E! online reports:
A member of the Spears camp told E! News that no matter what, "Sam would never sell [Spears] out. There is no bigger supporter of Britney than Sam. I can't imagine Kaplan is going to get much out of him."
Speculation that Spears was in cahoots with the paparazzi intensified this week, when photog Alison Silva told the New York Post the singer tips off the hordes of shutterbugs to her every move.
"Britney is in on it. [She] calls the paparazzi before she goes out. We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It's all staged," Silva said.
I wouldn't be surprised one bit it Britney was collecting payola from agencies in exchange for a tip off. What is surprising is that someone would schedule photographers to snap pictures of them and then continue to act like a total retard. The lack of underwear, bras and general class makes the whole evil genius thing fall apart - though she does have the British accent working, so maybe.
It seems despite numerous break up rumors and even mentions of retraining orders, photographer Adnan Ghalib and Britney Spears are still together. Here are recent pictures of Adnan and Britney with a giant stain on her shirt looking sharp. And it sounds like Adnan's game for having a baby with Britney.
Adnan Ghalib told "The Insider" and "Entertainment Tonight" that the pop star bought a pregnancy test because she was "hoping" she was with child.
"I think she felt she was," said Ghalib, 35, adding that the test was negative.
As Ghalib was admitting his sexual relationship with Spears yesterday, his wife of four years, AzLynn Berry, filed for separation, citing "irreconcilable differences." Earlier this week, Berry said that she and Ghalib were "living together as man and wife" until Britney came along.
It blows my mind someone would even dare to procreate with Britney at this point. Can this story possibly be real? A court order (and all forms of common sense) say she shouldn't be around the kids she has now.
Britney Spears was spotted checking out pregnancy tests with boyfriend Adnan Ghalib on one of their daily sojourns to RiteAid. I have no doubt it's conceivable Britney Spears is pregnant again, but I'd say it's more likely that the two them confused the pregnancy tests with a box of lollipops.
In more Britney news Life and Style reported that Britney stripped naked in front of employees at the Betsey Johnson store and then spend 45 minutes in the dressing room with him 'making weird noises'. Which would have lot to do with why Britney needed to buy a pregnancy test. Expect that I think one occurred after the other. Who knows really. You'd need a team of scientists to even begin to figure out exactly what these two are up to. Hearing Adnan and Britney decided to have a baby while waiting in line at Starbucks is about as believable as anything else she does.
There was yet another custody hearing yesterday to determine visitation rights for Britney Spears. As usually it was a giant media circus, Britney showed up late, and let almost immediately to get mexican food at Gaucho Grill. Seriously. It's those little details that make is so much more entertaining isn't it. Like Britney running around in her old wedding dress. Yeah, the same one she wore to a car dealership last week. How retarded can she be? And what do you know, the judge ruled that the orders put into effect on Jan 4th (when Britney lost all visitation rights) are to stay in effect until another hearing in February. Here's a bunch of pictures chronicling her day yesterday. So if there are any moms out there fighting for custody of their children they love, take notes. This is how a pro does it.
Rumor has it that short-lived boytoy and paparazzi photographer Adnan Ghalib is shopping semi nude photos of Britney Spears from their weekend together. X17 reports that Adnan's agency shopped the nude photos to the UK tabs but failed to fetch the $5 million they were after. Instead the shots were reportedly sold to an Australian agenecy Finalpixx for only $57 G because they 'weren't very good'.
Wow, so naked photos of Britney Spears won't sell for millions? Who would have guessed. First, we've already seen Britney semi-nude about a million times. Hell, she drives around town semi-nude - see. Second, almost everyone in the free world has already seem her vagina - more than once. Hell, half of them have probably been through it's turnstyle.
Britney Spears is back in LA and spent the evening braless and carless. Her white Mercedes got a flat tire while driving in traffic through Brentwood. And like any good driver does, Britney just left the car in the middle of the road and hitched a ride with a paparazzi photographer.
Also on the paparazzi front Britney has reportedly dumped photog Adnan Ghalib who is rumored to be selling photos of their weekend together. I'm not a rocket scientist (yet), but I'd figure that if you're going to shack up with a paparazzi photographer he's going to take naked pictures of you. It's in his blood. It's what he does. Just like the video camera I'd hide in the closet to film us having sex. Wait, did I say "I"? No, no, I mean the paparazzi, yeah, that's it. Them.
Britney Spears is free today after spending most of the weekend in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center under 'observation'. Dr. Phil even got his giant head into the act and 'at the request of her family' visited her in the hospital to try and work his voodoo and cure Britney. After being released Britney and paparazzi hook up Adnan Ghalib fled LA.
Brit and Ghalib were spotted at the Daily Grill in Palm Desert around 10:00 AM on Sunday, seemingly unmolested by the paparazzi. What's more, despite the drama of the days before, Britney "seemed in a really good mood, laughing with the guy she was with." She shielded herself behind large, dark sunglasses and "had a champagne mimosa to drink."
Wouldn't it be awesome if Britney actual did the Dr. Phil Show. It's be like watching monkeys perform brain surgery. They could film the whole thing from a Starbucks while Britney sucked down lattes.
There's more Britney Spears crazy watch news minute by minute. Here's fresh video of her being wheeled out of her house last night on a gurney. We posted earlier that a police code 5150 (meaning crazy person) was used and it looks like they had to strap her down. If you look closely you'll see that both of her arms were in restraints and she appears to be kicking her legs. What a meltdown.
Life&Style reports that blood tests taken at Cedars-Senai hospital confirm Britney Spears was not on drugs when she flipped out last night and wouldn't give her kids up to KFed. Well hey, alrighty then. Send her home and bring the kids back over to crazy town. The world can only handle one celebrity at a time falling off the wagon, at a time, and let's face it, Britney's hair was just beginning to return to it's naturally nappy state, it'd be a shame to have it go completely nuts and shave it off again. And the kids got so see the big fire trucks and stuff, and stay up late, so that was cool.
Breaking news this morning. Late last night Britney Spears was taken away in an ambulance after refusing to turn over her two sons to Kevin Federline. Police were called to Britney's home at about 8 pm last night for a 'custodial dispute'. Police code 5150 was reported used. 5150 is apparently California code for a legal involuntary 72 hour psychiatric hold. (Basically, throw 'em in the looney bin)
At nearly midnight Britney left her house in an ambulance and was taken to Cedar-Sinai Medical Center. Her sons Sean Preston and Jayden James were also take to the hospital to be evaluated. Early this morning the boys were released and taken home with Kevin Federline. Britney remains in the hospital under observation as a special needs patient.
Officer Jason Lee of the Los Angeles Police Department told City News Service that Spears appeared to be under the influence of an "unknown substance."
Man, looks like she finally flipped out. A full-fledged Britney Spears meltdown. Just too bad the kids were around when it happened. Stay tuned.
Britney Spears latest group of lawyers have had enough. In papers filed yesterday they have asked the court to withdraw as council in her custody case. People reports:
"There has been a breakdown in communications between (Spears) and Trope & Trope (law firm) making further representation of her interests impossible," says the document.
Keep in mind this is her third lawyer and she just missed another deposition. I feel sorry for these guys. Representing Britney is like trying to prove a retarded chimp is fit to fly the space shuttle. At least the chimp doesn't run around peeing in every Walgreens and stealing lighters.
Britney went out for a holiday dinner and then led the paparazzi on a crazy adventure through some of her favorite haunts - you know, gas stations and Walgreen's bathrooms.
She made not one, but two toilet stops - the first at Walgreens 24-hour pharmacy where she came out holding a video camera, and the second at a gas station where she held her nose until she returned to her car. Her peculiar behaviour didn't stop there - the singer made another spontaneous stop to take pictures of a building before taking refuge in a photographers car.
At this point it's hard to tell if Britney's lost her mind or diabolically smart just leading these idiots around for the hell of it.
Britney Spears managed to skip a scheduled deposition because, as her lawyers put it, she was a 'medical condition'.
Spears's friend Sam Lufti tells PEOPLE in an e-mail: "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much."
Apparently this is the fourth time Britney has avoided being deposed this year. The deposition is to try and determine if Kevin Federline will get primary custody of the children. Due justice is cool and all, but do we really need all this formality? Who in their right mind is going to give primary custody of the kids to Britney's. She'd have then amped up on Starbucks, running around swinging umbrellas and running heists out of liquor stores.
Britney Spears was spotted once again dressed like a hooker with that damn pink wig and a skirt that really didn't even qualify as a skirt. I'm pretty sure when your ass hangs out of the back of your clothing it's not really a skirt anymore. I'm all for wardrobe creativity, but if you're going to less your ass hang out of stuff your name better be Jessica Alba.
Britney Spears was seen leaving a gas station convenience store stealing a cigarette lighter. She paid from some items amidst a bunch of paparazzi and then snagged a lighter on the way out and held it up to the cameraman. Lame move when you make like $75K a month. But not nearly as lame as the guy shooting the video telling Britney she always looks gorgeous and asking her if she was upset. What a tool. Upset? Dude, you're filming her buying tampons at a gas station so some jackass can post it on their web site. Wait, uhm, ah Yeah, dude you're awesome! Keep up the good work.
Britney Spears put in an appearance at the Scandinavian Style Mansion while spending an evening celebrating her 26th birthday. The event hosted by Sharon Stone at a Mansion in Bel Air also had Paris Hilton and Brittny Bastineau on hand. I have no idea what the real event was about, but I can tell you it wasn't intended to be a birthday party for Britney. Let's face it, anything with 'Scandinavian Style' in the title has nothing at all to do with Britney Spears. She couldn't possibly spell Scandinavian, and Style? Yeah, stop laughing already.
The tabloids are buzzing this morning with rumors that Britney Spears is pregnant. InTouchWeekly reports that Britney told her friends via email that she is four weeks pregnant. The reported father is J.R. Rotem, a music producer. The email also was said to contain an ultrasound of Britney's new baby.
The story sounds pretty fishy. An ultrasound of a four week old baby? It's like the size of grain of rice. Of course Britney did have a cast of look-a-like stand-ins in matching blonde wigs on the set of her new video, but I'd guess that had more to do with sheer laziness than morning sickness. And I would have thought the laws of nature would have long ago stopped her ability to procreate in an effort to preserve a sustainable gene pool for future generations. It sounds far fetched, I know, but just stop and think - with all that sex has Paris Hilton gotten pregnant yet? Huh, huh? See.
Britney has been 'hard at work' shooting her new video Piece of Me, which apparently involves a bunch of body doubles. Having a bunch of look-a-likes makes it a lot easier for her to fall asleep in the corner under a bunch of coats without anyone noticing. I'm pretty sure these are professional actors, because it would take a lot of work for the average person to actually imitate Britney Spears. Can you just imagine these girls getting into character on their way to the set - strapping the kids to the top of the car, running all those stop signs, having sex with random people on the way. That stuff takes skill.
US Magazine has video of Britney Spears once again demonstrating her awesome driving skills. Being chased down by paparazzi photographers Britney is caught rolling a bunch of stop signs. And in other news her lawyers claim she's being treated unfairly by possibly receiving 24 months of probation for driving without a valid drivers license. Let's face it, we're all lucky at this point she hasn't gone all Dukes of Hazzard and starting fly over Melrose Ave. That new convertible Mercedes she has does make it a lot easier to jump into the car without opening the doors, especially with the kids.
Surrounded by paparazzi photographers, Britney Spears ran over another person's foot. In the video you can clearly hear the guy yelling. I think this make three? And one of those feet was attached to a cop. Seriously though, it's ridiculous. How is someone supposed to drive an expensive car like that when you're surround by a bunch of people bending over the hood?They're in the way and that's what happens, stuff get's run over. Britney should just attached one of those big metal things you see on the front of old trains. She could just plow through the photographers and they'd got flying. She could also take the kids for a ride on it when they're too big to fit in her lap.
Britney Spears ran a red light last night with her kids in her car. Video of her running the light demonstrates she's far more interested in escaping a few photographers than, you know, worring about her kids, the safety of others, that kind of trivial shit. On the off chance she was on her way to the clinic to get her mothering genes replacement, a IV of common sense and a breast lift - I'll give her a pass. Hell, even one out of three might have been worth it.
Britney Spears was spotted this weekend out shopping for chandeliers. I can imagine it's a pretty big job, one that warrants leaving your kids in the car to make sure you find just the right one. After all, it's got to match her current decor just right. And from the little I know about chandeliers, I do know that they don't usually come pre-covered in dirty underwear and bras. It's nice to see she's using her limited visitation to spend quality time with the kids. "OK Jayden, now once Mommy covers this new light full of underwear, you get a sister! Now you and your brother go hook up the wires while I take a big fat nap."
New court documents recently released outline in detail the monthly spending habits of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Apparently KFed earned half a mil in 2006. How is that even possible? Tell me a chimp cured cancer, I'll listen, but $500K to KFed. No way. Britney makes a cool $737K - per month. And Britney's clothing budget is $16,000 a month! And that's without underwear? Here's a run down of their monthly budgets, you know, to make you feel better about your crappy paycheck. And if you're wondering what kind of spectacular fall fashions $16,000 can buy you, click on any of the pictures below.
Britney's Expenses: $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation $49,267 on mortgage payments $16,000 on clothes $4,758 on eating out $2,500 on phone bills
Kevin's Expenses: $5,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation $7,500 on rent $2,000 on clothes $1,500 on eating out
Britney Spears apparently hung out with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo a few nights ago. Spears and Romo ate at the same LA restaurant, Katchup, last weekend and the rumor mills started spinning when Spears assistant Alli Sims introduced the two. Somehow that lead to rumors that Britney gave Tony Romo a lapdance.
Speaking exclusively to PEOPLE this week, Sims staunchly refuted some reports that Spears had performed a lap dance for Romo.
"The story is untrue," says Sims, 26. "Tony is a gentleman, and Britney wouldn't do that, especially to a good friend of mine."
Britney wouldn't do that to a 'good friend'. Since when does that matter? Let's recall, Britney supposedly got topless and partied with a random college student a while back. And she'd probably give a lapdance to a fire hydrant if you painted it to look like a giant frappuccino. And while where at it, Tony Romo needs to get his shit together too. The guy could have any piece of tail he wanted (and probably has). The mere introduction to Spears life-sucking-force should have sent him running to the nearest supermodel. Here's a few recent pictures of Britney so you can figure out just how fast Romo should have run. Source
Britney Spears stormed out of a courtroom on Friday yelling "Eat It Lick It Snort It Fuck It". Access Hollywood reports her assistant and lawyer had to bring her back to the courtroom - sobbing. I had no idea she had such command over the English language. And people doubt that she can write her own songs. Hah. She's Shakespeare. Something tells me that talking about snorting and fucking around a judge that rules on the custody of your children might not be the smartest. But on the bright side we've found a great slogan for Paris Hilton's tombstone.
Friends and associates of Britney Spears have mobilized to try and help her by asking people not to buy her new album. Nice friends! Feed up with Britney's insane antics they've set up a Myspace page to plead their cause. Sounds like kind of an excuse to get new myspace friends. This is not the first site to try and give her advice. HelpSaveBritney.com had hundreds of 'fans' leave comments - you know diluted ramblings about Britney having talent.
As concerned friends and former associates of Britney's, we come to you asking that, instead of adding to the rumor mill, if you are so interested and concerned about her behavior, be active and participate in ways that you can make a difference.
Sitting around and talking about how bad of a person, singer, mother – whatever your thoughts are, these things won't help change this very broken woman. Help Britney help herself by expressing your concern to those who are largely responsible for her success, and continue to capitalize on her every move.
Contact MTV and hold them responsible for allowing Britney to come out and really give us all the finger because she knew we'd all be curious to see what she did.
Contact her record label and let them know you'll buy her album, but not until she is clean and sober and realizes the amazing life she has created for herself.
Contact her music publishing house who is responsible for tracking Britney's music. Publishing houses pay artists when their music is played on the radio or purchased in stores or on- line or played at live performances such as her MTV disaster.
You might thing reporting that Britney went out for ice cream is silly, but it's kind of like reporting the extraordinary abilities of a trained chimp set loose in the city. It's the same fascination, and she's marginally better looking. The chimp (like Britney) would be a star. "Look everyone, today the chimp went out and got Cold Stone. He even drove the car himself! And he only ran over one person, ah how cute. " "Oh look at that silly chimp, smoking in a gas station, doesn't he know better?". It's kind of like Where's Waldo came to life.
The picture of the chimp, ah, I mean Britney Spears, covering her mouth is breeding rumors of some collagen injections in her lips. Here's a lip close up, you decide, (and no, not those lips, perv, the one's on her face. Well, at least not today). I'm guessing any lips swelling is just due to the chimp still working on mastering the use of kitchen utensils. Ah, damn, did I say chimp again. Silly me. Britney.
Britney Spears was spotted at a gas station wearing a bright pink wig. I almost didn't know it was her. Clearly she is the master of disguise. I mean with skills like that her talents are underused. She should join the FBI or CIA or something and become a covert operative. They could dress her up and send her over to Afghanistan to find Osama. And after she's assimilated in to society and found his liar she can pull up her burka, throw her legs in the air and shout, "It's Britney, Bitch". And then finished up off with her umbrella death blow
Britney Spears went out shopping today wearing cowboy boots and some kind of red dress that she didn't even bother to button. And needless to say there wasn't a bra involved and I'm sure she skimped on the underwear as well, cause that's just how she likes to roll. And those boots, oh, the boobs, I mean, boots. Really though if you're not going button your clothes then you just not bother to put them on at all. Plenty of breast swinging braless sideboob action in the pictures below. Update: - Told you she wasn't wearing underwear (nsfw).
Apparently Britney Spears new video for Gimme More almost gave us more. The DailyMail reports there are topless outtakes from the Gimme More shoot that ended up on the cutting room floor. They are said to feature a braless Britney wearing pasties of some sort. Whether or not we get to see the uncensored version of Gimme More remains to be seen.
While seeing Britney topless might sound good to some, let's face it what haven't we already seen. And the reason they cut the footage out probably had more to do with all the hot sauce and Taco Bell spilled down her cleavage than seeing her boobs. If you haven't already seen the regular version of Gimme More, here you go.
Update: Here's the uncensored version of the video. Definitely topless and fat too!
Britney Spears stopped off for gas yesterday in her multiple day drive through fantasy land. Paparazzi have been following her every manipulative move, from visiting drug stores while holding a book on the Kaballah to eating Taco Bell and Starbucks. Today's she's sitting in her car smoking a cigarette. I think they told us in Drivers Ed class that smoking at a gas station was dangerous. I'm pretty sure that was all crap though. I've juggled flaming torches outside the Circle K for years and never had a problem. Occasionally I even pump gas for old ladies. It's quite the show.
Britney Spears went shopping at Rite Aid with a full convey of paparazzi. And like any other Britney outing she manage to flash her crotch. I'm not sure if converting to the Kabbalah requires you to be a terrible dresser, but if it does Britney just passed the entrance exam. And not only did she just roll out of bed, she took the bedspread with her. What the hell is she wearing? To hell the underwear, style, pride, etc. Click the picture for the uncensored details on that disaster (nsfw).
Britney Spears was spotted this weekend at a Rite Aid carrying around a book titled The Zohar. What is The Zohar you ask? It's a 23 volume book written and published by The Kabbalah. What is Britney Spears doing studying the Kabbalah you ask? Is she on the road to spiritual enlightment? Ah, I say, no. How about manipulating the media? Since when does Rite Aid sell The Zohar? Britney carried the book with her - in and out of the drugstore in front of the paparazzi. I know we all think Britney is dumb as a tree stump, but come on, let's give her a little credit, she does know how to manipulate the media.
I'd like to say there's a rational explanation behind these pictures of Britney Spears freaking out, but I'm sure there's not. Britney was spotted leaving a supermarket in LA with her dog and looks to be downright hysterical. I guess I could understand someone looking this crazy if they, say had just had their kids taken away from them and then didn't bother to show in court to fight for them, and then realized that pretty much everyone in the know world thought they were nuts, but, oh, ah, well, ok, yeah these pictures make perfect sense.
If you believe the tabloid gossip then it looks like Britney Spears is going back to rehab in a bid to get herself straightened out and get her kids back. Ok Magzine reports she may be going back to the Crossroads Centre in Antigue. This is the same place she went last time - you know right before she started beating stuff with umbrellas. All things considered picture of braless Britney could be more fitting.
An L.A. County Superior Court Judge has issued an order that Kevin Federline is to take custody of Britney's kids until further notice. Score one for the Los Angeles courts. They managed not to convict OJ or Phil Spector of murdering people, but they have found a way to take Britney Spears kids away. Seriously though, the average day for Britney typically consists of running around without underwear, using random public restrooms as she baits the paparrazi, hitting parked cars, and if you believe her bodyguard - doing drugs. Britney makes O.J. look like Albert Einstein. Here's the ruling of the courts that outlines how Britney loses custody of her children:
Respondent (K-Fed) is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 pm until further order by the Court.
Britney Spears hit the town the same day she was order by a judge to undergo regular drug testing, and the best part, wait for it…Britney must take parenting classes. The NY Daily News reports:
K-Fed and Brit are barred from consuming alcohol or drugs within 12 hours of when they are scheduled to take care of their children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.
They also have to hire a parenting coach to evaluate them and report back to the court, and they must enroll in a Parenting Without Conflict program within five days.
Are they kidding? You'd have better luck teaching a chimp how to do calculus. You'd think if Britney really wanted those kids she might have stayed in, at least on the same day that a judge made a ruling like that. You know, cracked open a book, or stared at a blank wall or something.
Bad luck for Britney Spears. Late yesterday her manager of one month, Jeff Kwatinetz, fired her. And that comes just a couple hours after her divorce lawyer Laura Wasser did the same. Sound bad, just wait, K-Feds shark lawyer Gloria Allred scored the 'secret witness' Tony Barretto, who claims Britney did drugs around the kids. It's still rumors at this point, but it looks like Britney might lose custody of the kids. I'm pretty sure any minute you're going to see her pets walking down the street carrying a backpack and a pillow begging to go to the pound. And Sean Preston and Jayden James are just minutes away from finishing construction on their giant trebuchet to launch themselves over to Angelina's house.
Yahoo reports that terrorist leader Muhammad Abdel-Al is quoted in his new book as saying that if he met Britney Spears or Madonna he would 'cut off their heads'. Damn, that's some harsh shit. I think he's just jealous America has 40-year-olds that look like this. And beheading Britney isn't going to solve a thing. Clearly it was the rest of her lumpish body that was the issue at the VMAs.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline met at a lawyer's office in L.A. to discuss custody of their children and financial arrangements surrounding their divorce. Having Britney and K-Fed in a room together has got to be an awesome display of brainpower. Like Einstein and da Vinci sitting down for lattes. Sources close to Britney say:
"Britney asked for [the meeting]. She wants to put an end to this public debacle," says the Spears source. "However, Kevin [has] refused. He needs more money so he's determined to win this."
Federline's side claims:
He's not going for additional child support in the court papers that were filed. It's not about the money.
Court documents show Britney's income at over $700K a month! I can only imagine the two of them in a room trying to divide that up. It would have taken hours - and I dguarantee most of the time was spend trying to figure out how they count that high with only 10 fingers.
We learned a number of things at last night's VMA Awards. We learned Britney Spears still lip syncs, Britney can't dance and apparently Britney still doesn't own any underwear. She was spotted flashing her vagina again getting out a car. Our crack location and recovery team is still scouting for the perfect crotch picture, but this mildly nsfw crack shot gives you a pretty good idea Britney wasn't wearing any panties, yet again.
If she had just lost the underwear for her performance on stage she might have gotten better reviews. Of course Britney Spear may just be genius after all. I mean what better way to get people to forget your comeback bomb than to flash your crotch to the world. It's downright diabolical.
Britney Spears made her triumphant comeback last night at MTVs Video Music Awards. She met and exceeded as expectations of failure. Lip syncing her new song Gimme More she was upstaged by poll dancers. The video of Britney's performance is after the jump if you dare watch it. Her dancing looked like a teenage girl at her first recital who's embarrassed because she spent the weekend doing the with the football team in a van down by the river in instead of actually practicing her dancing.
Britney Spears hosted the grand opening of LAX nightclub at the Luxor hotel in Vegas. I would think they pay celebrities for such things, which means Britney Spears actually did something. And just look at how good she did it! The straw hair, the white potato sack. What the hell is that dress anyway? And the hat - and gum. Another appearance like this and she'll be hosting the Oscars.
Well the moment you've been waiting for has come. New Britney Spears' songs! I know, the high is amazing. Like that time you finally went all the way in back of that van down by the river. Don't let me stop you. Listen to Britney's new single here and here. Just one listen and it's going to blow your mind. How could music be this good? It's so much more than a new single, it's like, poetry in motion. Imagine if you finally discovered the meaning to life - and then set it to music - and had Britney Spears sing it. Yeah, that good.
US Magazine along with the UK's The Sun are reporting plenty of details of Britney Spears' latest alleged exploits. A 21 year-old college student is spilling the boobs, I mean beans, about his crazy topless night with Britney. The dude started out as an extra on her new video and ending up playing topless Truth or Dare with Britney at an L.A. hotel.
In just five hours, Encinias went from being an extra in her latest video to pounding drinks and locking lips with the single mom of two in a rooftop pool at L.A's Standard Downtown hotel.
"Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed," Encinias tells Us. "I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot."
It was when the alcohol started running low that an inebriated Spears, 25, suggested a game of Truth or Dare. "I was dared to get naked and get out of the pool and walk as though I was on a catwalk in a fashion show," says Encinias. "Britney was laughing really hard." - Us Magazine
More from the Sun:
Britney's assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.
Mike explained: "Britney was drinking Mojitos and she'd been drinking some Jack Daniel's
"Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top.
"She went into the pool topless - her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses."
This girl's a retarded mess. I will say it's hard to believe what a 21 year-old guy in college says. At that age I went around telling chicks I everything from a doctor to an astronaut. But you've got to figure if he really got a hold of Britney's boobs he'd be talking big. Although at this point in her career (yeah, stop laughing), the guy doesn't have much to brag about.
Update: Now with more swimming pool and less of Britney's shirt.
Britney Spears hit a parked car while trying to park her own car. In defense of Britney she was surrounded by paparazzi while trying to park. Oh and let's not forget she was trying to drive with one hand and a dog in her lap. No big deal bumping a parked car really. I hit stuff all the time when I'm driving. Let me tell you, it's not easy having sex with supermodels and trying to drive at the same time.
Members of PETA dressed up like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears to protest the celebrities buying purebred dogs instead of adopting pets from shelters. PETA's Director, Daphna Nachminovitch suggested this solution.
Forget jail or rehab; these selfish stars should do a stint in an animal shelter, where they would witness the plight of dogs who end up there after being bought on an impulse.
I think I'd rather be raised by a pack of starved pitbulls then be adopted from a pet store or shelter by Britney or Paris. But seriously, locking those two up in an animal shelter is really unfair to the poor animals.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are officially divorced today. Come and get it guys, Britney's a free woman! But it's going to be a long line. From the looks of this photo of Britney working the pole she's working hard to bring sexy back. I've seen smoother moves from a pack of hyenas in heat. Hell, a bad of beaver pelts is sexier than this.
Britney Spears stripped her clothes off and jumped in the ocean wearing only her bra and panties. Taking a dip in your underwear really isn't that crazy, we've all done it. Jumping in the ocean wearing your panties and bra in front of a group of photographers - well, that pretty much qualifies you for the crazy list. There might be a back story that makes Britney's ocean swim make sense, but I doubt it. Britney Spears should be proud though, not everyone is blessed with this kind of crazy. (Side note: Looks like the hair on her hair isn't the only thing she's letting grow out.)
Update: Apparently Britney Spears is shooting a new music video, which still doesn't make any sense. Really. Why bother?
MSNBC reports that the Humane Scoiety is upset that Britney Spears bought a designer dog from a Bel-Air Pet Store. The Yorkshire Terrier reportedly costs $3,000.
Ms. Spears is setting a damaging example to the public," notes Stephanie Shain, the society's director of outreach. "Most dogs sold in pet stores come from puppy mills"
They go on to say that they'd be delighted to have Britney Spears as their spokesperson if she'd 'do a little homework first'. Homework? Spokesperson? Example to the public? What? Let's not forget she drove around with her kid in her lap, shaved her head and ran after people with an umbrella at a gas station. Yeah, sure, Britney would make an awesome spokesperson.
I'm really not sure what Britney Spears is doing in these pictures. She always looks like she was dressed by a band of drunken chimps. I was thinking maybe Britney just came out of a 12-hour recording session where she laid down some sweet tracks for her big platinum comeback album. But when the little man in my head starting laughing so hard he fell off his chair I knew it couldn't be true.
In a stroke of super-pathetic awesomeness Britney Spears is letting fans help her pick the title of her next album. Here are the choices, ready: Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like, What if the Joke is on You, Down boy, Integrity, and Dignity. Ah, what? Yeah, the Lindsay Lohan one I could see. But Integrity - Dignity? Fess up y'all, who bought Britney a dictionary?
Seriously she has the word Dignity right next to her naked tits. How about wearing some panties and a shirt. I have no problem if you want to run around half-naked. Fine, but don't suggest we name your album Dignity and then put that whorish sell-out topless photo next to it. Come on now. Put your arms down already.
Aside from being a super stylish dresser Britney Spears is also really good at letting her boobs slip out of her clothes. It's really a whole skill set that most people can only aspire too. We all have clothes. We all have nipples. But we can't all dress likely Britney Spears. Mainly because most people have the basic understanding that you cover your nipples and crotch when you're in public, ya know the private parts. And most people have a basic sense of fashion - simple stuff even. Clothes that fit, shirts that have fronts, dresses that don't look like they were constructed by a one-armed, half-blind child with a pair of dulled pre-school scissors and a pillow case.
I guess those first 14 minutes of lip syncing didn't tire her out after all. Britney Spears performed again last night at the Anaheim, CA House of Blues. The whole this is like following some sort of circus sideshow. How about this. If you really want to make a comeback. Made a damn record. Take off the wig, stop acting like an idiot and SING. I must be super confused because I thought that was what musicians did, make music, right?
Britney Spears knows how to make a comeback. Posing topless with flowers over your tits is apparently what it's going to take. Lip snycing for 15 mintues is not. Click the pict for bigger uncropped flower covered boobs. I guess this helps end any speculation as to whether Britney Spears boobs were fake or real. It might also make you wonder why anyone wanted to see Britney Spears topless in the first place.
Britney Spears is making her comeback. She reportedly did a 14-minute set at the San Diego House of Blues.
Spears, in a black wig and white pleated miniskirt, then began her set, lip-syncing the songs. The show, highlighted by her hits "... Baby One More Time" and "Toxic," featured rapid-fire costume changes, back-up dancers and light and smoke effects.
A 14 minutes set and she's back? I could hold my breath longer than that. And costume changes? She's pulling out all the stops. It probably has more to do with the fact she's not used to keeping on the same clothes for longer than that. If lip-syncing to dance music for 14 minutes constitutes a comeback then I recommend checking out the homeless with the radio down my block. That dude can lip-sync for hours on end, and dance too. And he wears other people's clothes, just like Britney.
Update: Now awesome video of Britney's House of Blues comeback.
I keep reading about Britney Spears making a comeback. Britney's hitting the gym, Britney's abs look great, blah blah blah. Last week we posted a picture of Britney's ass that just might make you believe she's human again. And then there's this fashion disaster.
The boots, the full body fishnet, it's... it's amazing. I'm a bright guy. Ask to me to explain something unbelievable, like Lindsay Lohan getting a diploma from Harvard, or Pamela Anderson fitting into an A cup - I could probably find some way to explain either of those things. But Britney's full body see through and cowboy boots - don't even bother.
Britney Spears is back baby. Well, her ass is, and it looks like maybe Britney's abs as well. She seems to be continually spotted and looking better by the day. I guess a few million dollars and a team of personal trainers has its perks. She still needs to LOSE THE DAMN HAT already, but she gets credit for that body. I know there's no real fix for not being able to sing, but to look like that after having a couple kids - credit where credit is due.
Update: Here's the video. It's suprisingly idiotic.
TMZ reports Britney Spears went on a crazy tirade to the paparazzi on Friday after a sushi dinner.
she launched into a mad monologue, rattling on in a fake valley girl accent about everything from tabloid troubles to Jesus. ...she addresses rumors that she's pregnant, saying, "And, like, I saw these magazines, and they said I was pregnant, and like it's so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like you're smart and I'm stupid. Like for real."
So it sounds like things haven't changed much, cause that all sounds like crazy talk to me. Like for real she probably like thinks she's like fooling people with that wig, like. From the story it sounds like all of this was caught on tape which is like super good. Like most awesome. Source.
Normally a Britney Spears see through shirt would make big news, but it's just gotten so, well, old. Another day, still no bra. Blah blah. And the big stain on her shirt doesn't help any either. But in Britney's defense she was out eating steak. You should see my shirt after I'm finished with a filet. Of course I pick out my steak like most people do lobsters and then kill it with my bare hands.
Britney's back hittin' the town. As evidence she's calmed her partying ways it looks like she started borrowing things out of Grandma's closet. Nice shawl. And it looks like we have a new wig in the rotation as well. I'm still perplexed by the hat though. Why always the hat? Is there a screw through the top of thing holding those wigs on? Or is she too lazy to style the squirrel sitting on top of her head. Ah, the mysteries of life.
Britney Spears is out of rehab and was spotted wearing a long dark haired wig and going to a hair salon. Britney going to a hair salon makes about as much sense as well, Britney visiting to a hair salon. She's probably going to walk in and ask them to take the horses tail she's wearing under her cowboy hat and glue it to her bald head. If you're going to go crazy and shave your dome, at least have a little follow through and own the look. Ditch the wig, it's ridiculous and you're not fooling anyone smarter than the horse you stole that tail from.
More details of Britney Spears pre-rehab 'lost' weekend are emerging. Details like she borrowed a strangers bikini at the Mondrian hotel.
Bright and early on February 17, a newly bald Spears arrived at L.A.'s chic Mondrian hotel, ready to catch some rays. But the star was denied a room due to lack of credit cards or cash.
By 11 a.m., an undeterred Spears, 25, had stripped down to a bra and panties poolside, then shaved her legs in the pool bathroom.
Even better is Britney posed for pictures in the bikini. Good thing too, because we're going to need all the forensic evidence possible to figure out exactly what the hell she was thinking. Shockingly she still appears to have some avid fans, take a read at HelpSaveBritney.com. Crazy.
Forget about the cheerleader. It seems Britney is the one who needs saving. Even her dad says she's 'a sick little girl' (People), and the late night talk show host are even vowing to lay off the Britney jokes (CBS). So what's next? HelpSaveBritney.com of course. Looks like her (remaining) fans are banding together. When your fans put up sites to help you from yourself, you've definitely got issues.
The Britney Spears head shaving tattoo wearing crazy train rolls on. Just when you think it couldn't get it any weirder - Britney Attacks!
A desperate Britney was photographed using an umbrella to hit a car outside the home where her ex, KEVIN FEDERLINE, is reportedly staying. The photos reveal a furious Britney, dressed in white shorts and a hooded sweatshirt, repeatedly striking an SUV with an umbrella.
x17online has a video as well (thanks guys). She's a militant Mary Poppins! The photographer even got a whack across the back.
If at first you don't succed, try try again. Seeing as how Britney Spears has run out of body parts to shave she's headed back to rehab. But wait. Britney has left rehab again. WTF. Extra reports she's already left the Promises facility in Malibu. Aside from a having a whole bucket of fashion issues Britney seems to have a hard time sticking with anything. If you're going to shave your head, then really go for it, wax that baby up, don't throw on a dime store wig the next day and run around like Carole Channing.
Perhaps Britney Spears is having some regrets about shaving her head? Thanks to TMZ we can take a look at that bald dome in action. Britney's wig looks totally ridiculous, but it's what we've come to expect at this point. She could strap a live chichilla to her head and I wouldn't even blink. Now she looks like Carole Channing, but not as youthful or attractive.
As we begin what surely will be known as Britney Week 2007 everyone will be asking the same question. Is Britney Spears insane? Britney's crazy behavior has peaked with the tattoos and now the head shaving. Britney's gone Sinead O'Connor on us and she's starting to make K-Fed look like a genius (never thought I'd say that). Stay tuned and keep a look out for the Britney hair auction. eBay here we come?
Well I guess rehab worked. Britney's all new. Is this video for real? Holy crap. Britney Spears shaved her head. Perhaps a little air getting to the scalp might improve brain functions. Not sure what her motivation was to go Chromie, but nice look. She might want shave a bit closer and go that Mr. Clean look. Perhaps a Gillette razor sponsorship is in order.
Extra reported that Britney Spears went into rehab, then TMZ reported that she checked herself out in less than 24 hours. Not suprising she has a difficult time making up her mind considering she borrows the clothes off of strippers backs because she doesn't like the skirt she picked out.
Britney Spears is one step closer to riding the pole full-time. In a way it's kind of a non-story, because when you run around without any panties flashing your crotch I'm pretty sure you're technically a stripper already. People and PageSix are both running the story. Britney was in NY at ONE and decided she didn't like her mini skirt so she asked the dancers if she could try on their bikinis and fishnets. And for good measure a white busboy jacket. Nice look. To translate this behavior into everyman's terms it would be like swapping underwear with the homeless guy at the bus stop on your way to work. Short video from Extra with a few of the stripper outfit photos.
Britney Spears 'mystery man' is revealed as model Isaac Cohen. From the looks of the bikini photos I've seen of her and Cohen on a boat it looks like she's snared herself a K-Fed clone. We all know Britney's well shaven, perhaps she should loan that razor to her new man. Britney and Isaac were spotted in a boat cruising around Marina de Rey. When I first heard the words "Britney Spears" and "boat" I immediately thought of Linday Lohan getting out of a boat (but I have ADD so that's understandable), then I snapped back to reality and pictured Britney and Isaac Cohen rowing around in half a gutted airstream flipped upside down. That made a lot more sense.
Britney Spears might lose $400k for 'falling alseep' on New Years Eve and leaving Pure nightclub early.
Sources say Pure nightclub in Las Vegas wants to nix her almost half-million dollar appearance fee, after she violated the contract. "Britney failed to spend the agreed amount of time in the club, because she had to be helped out after collapsing," alleges a close source.
It's really amazing anyone would pay Britney Spears to do anything. I suppose I might throw her a wooden nickel to stand in my kitchen and let me use her choppers as a bottle opener. I'd love to get paid $400,000 to drink myself to a stupor and passout in a Vegas club. By my estimates (hold, let me calculate), I'd have like, a bizillion dollars by now - and that's after taxes.
Britney Spears is reportedly taking some "R&R" at the Sanctuary Resort in Arizona. Gossip is that Britney has checked into Rehab after falling asleep (passing out) on New Year's Eve in Vegas. For folks unfamiliar with Sanctuary I can tell you it's not a rehab place, but a posh spa where you go to lie in the sun and do nothing. And seeing as how that's what Britney does anyway it's hardly news.
I know the whole R&R thing is supposedly code for Britney Spears being in rehab. Her publicists should have said she was doing something more believable, like cow tipping or shopping for a new trailer, or practicing shooting beer out of her nose, or squating without underwear. That wouldn't have raised an eyebrow at all.
Britney Spears has been photographed getting a tatto with little sister Jamie-Lynn Spears. I can only imagine what Britney got tattooed and where. My guess is one of two things. A nice tattoo of an Airstream trailer with the words Home Sweet Home above it. Or, a tattoo of her crotch so she won't even have to lift her dress anymore for us to see her cooch.
Britney Spears has been named worst celebrity dog owner of 2006 by The New York Dog and The Hollywood Dog magazines. I've wondered how you qualify to become the worst dog owner. We've all seen Britney's kitty and it looked just fine. Oh, wait we were talking about dogs, right. I'm guessing hiring Natasha Lyonne to dog sit might immediately put you in the runnings. Source.
It's been, what, a whole week since Britney's crotch explosion. I think we've all had time to recover so we'll start the week with a Paulina Rubio crotch slip. Nice, but I think she needs to take a few lessons from Britney and lose the pink underwear. I actually don't know much about Paulina Rubio other than that she's kind of like Shakira and was on Jay Leno last week.
After running around without panties for a week and flashing her vagina at everyone with a camera Britney Spears is now thanking God for Victoria Secret's new underwear line. This retarded ass message and shameless panty plug was posted on Britney Spears' web site:
"Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a bit too far," Spears writes. "Anyway, thank God for Victoria Secrets' new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me."
If you're not going to wear underwear anymore how about pluging something like Tampax. Wouldn't that makes more sense. I tell you what would make more sense. Putting lipstick on a Gorilla and naming her Gloria.
Britney Spears is turning 25 today. Happy Birthday Britney, now put on some panties. Maybe all of Britney's pantiless partying was just in celebration of the big 25. I haven't seen this much crotch in one week since that time I passed out on the floor on the Glitter Gultch on my 21st birthday. Ok, well, I guess the week of Lindsay Lohan's crotch slip is a close second, but that had nowhere near the level of vagina as Britney Spears crotch pictures. So there, Happy Birthday Britney, you win.
It's clear that Britney Spears is spending way too much time with the likes of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. You can tell just by looking at that picture of Britney's naked crotch. They're the three crotch slipping muskateers. I doubt they could find one pair of underwear between the three of them, and would likely have even more trouble counting it them they did. Britney nearly slipped the full cooch recently as well, but that picture didn't show nearly as much crack as this one.
Not that this will really work, but people are sure trying: HelpSaveBritney.com
Kevin Federline is now saying (through his attorney) that there he and Britney Spears did not make a Honeymoon sex tape. And that rumors of K-Fed selling the tape for millions of dollars are completely false. Damnit. I really hope this story is the false one and that there is a Spears K-Fed blowjob fest. Because it's clear that Paris Hilton is slacking big time seeing as how she hasn't pumped out a sex tape in months. I had wondered how K-Fed throught he was going to fight for custody of his kids while he was selling sex tapes from the back of a van down by the river. Something tells me those two don't mix, unless maybe you live in Kazahkstan. Source.
A few days ago a clip of a supposed Britney Spears sex tape made it's way onto Pornotube.com, a sex video sharing site. The blowjob clip looked like it could a fake. But British tabloid The Sun is reporting that indeed there is a Britney Spears Kevin Federline sex tape. The honeymoon video is said to be four hours long and KFed is supposedly trying to sell it for millions. After watching the Spears Pornotube clip I was doubtful that it was really Britney doing the blowing, but in light of more sex tape rumors it's starting to look like there may really be a Spears KFed sex video. And if the video is real, can it top the infamous One Night in Paris sex tape?
It's been a while since we had a celebrity sex tape scandal. Just a day after Britney Spears files for divorce the net is buzzing with word of a Britney Spears sex tape with Kevin Federline. The short video is off a blowjob and has been posted here on PornoTube.com. I'll admit the girl giving the blowjob looks a bit like Britney, but I'm crying fake. All you really see is dick, and who the hell wants to see Kevin Federline's dick anyway. The video has even been branded with a Britney K-Fed sex tape logo, which I can assume is a pretty good way of insuring some form of lawsuit - unless of course the sex tape is real. In which case my vote for best celebrity blowjob still goes to Paris Hilton. And, if that isn't enough BJ action for you check out Chloe Sevigny giving Vincent Gallo a blowjob in The Brown Bunny. The real deal on film. It's a blowjob extravaganza!
You knew this day would come. It was just a matter of when. People.com and TMZ are reporting that Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. I guess she got tired of trying to raise a third kid. Britney also popped into the David Letterman show last night. And looked pretty damn good all things considered. Perhaps that was just a pre divorce tease. You've got to figure that if she wants anything resembling a career back she's got to shed that hillbilly image. And staring with divorcing Kevin Federline can only help. I know that this photo of Britney has nothing to do with her getting a divorce, but she's naked, so really that makes the most sense don't you think.
News has come out that Britney Spears latest offspring's real name is Jayden James Federline and not Sutton Piere Federline. What the hell is with these celebrities, who the hell cares and why the hell are you tricking people with the names of your kids. And if you're going to make something up at least have some fun with it. Sutton Pierce - that sucks. Take a page out of Gwyneth Paltrow's book and name your kid after some fruit, or a vegetable. Kumquat Lowmein has a nice ring it to. BTW This smokin how picture of Sofia Vergara's ass is provided because no one really want to look at picture of Britney's baby.
People magazine is reporting that Britney Spears has given birth to her second child. The baby boy was born about 2 a.m. Tuesday at a Los Angeles hospital and was delivered via a scheduled C-section. I've provided this illustrative birth sculpture to help you imagine Britney Spears giving birth, but if you're having trouble visualizing things I suggest you check this more, shall we say, graphic birth photo.
No word on whether or not this baby actually 'dropped', (or how long that might take), but it just sounds so cool (retarded), you know like, "when is Britney's new album going to drop?". I think that should actually be the new music industry phrase for giving birth. So musicians can all run around saying, "yeah, I'm planning to drop my baby next month, and maybe an album too". Source.
Holy crap batman. It's a black haired naked Britney Spears. Who thought it possible she actually looked this good. Looks like she's following in Demi Moore's footsteps with the naked cover shoot for Bazaar Magazine. I'd like to meant the team of artists and the see supercomputer that retouched the trailer trash hillbilly from her. Those are some serious skills man. And let's not forget to mention some serious tits.
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Breaking news this morning. Late last night Britney Spears was taken away in an ambulance after refusing to turn over her two sons to Kevin Federline. Police were called to Britney's home at about 8 pm last night for a 'custodial dispute'. Police code 5150 was reported used. 5150 is apparently California code for a legal involuntary 72 hour psychiatric hold. (Basically, throw 'em in the looney bin)
If at first you don't succed, try try again. Seeing as how Britney Spears has run out of body parts to shave she's headed back to rehab. But wait. Britney has left rehab again. WTF. Extra reports she's already left the Promises facility in Malibu. Aside from a having a whole bucket of fashion issues Britney seems to have a hard time sticking with anything. If you're going to shave your head, then really go for it, wax that baby up, don't throw on a dime store wig the next day and run around like Carole Channing.
Extra reported that Britney Spears went into rehab, then TMZ reported that she checked herself out in less than 24 hours. Not suprising she has a difficult time making up her mind considering she borrows the clothes off of strippers backs because she doesn't like the skirt she picked out.
Britney Spears might lose $400k for 'falling alseep' on New Years Eve and leaving Pure nightclub early.
Britney Spears is reportedly taking some "R&R" at the Sanctuary Resort in Arizona. Gossip is that Britney has checked into Rehab after falling asleep (passing out) on New Year's Eve in Vegas. For folks unfamiliar with Sanctuary I can tell you it's not a rehab place, but a posh spa where you go to lie in the sun and do nothing. And seeing as how that's what Britney does anyway it's hardly news. 
It's been, what, a whole week since Britney's crotch explosion. I think we've all had time to recover so we'll start the week with a Paulina Rubio crotch slip. Nice, but I think she needs to take a few lessons from Britney and lose the pink underwear. I actually don't know much about Paulina Rubio other than that she's kind of like Shakira and was on Jay Leno last week.
