Forbes Magazine had the brilliant idea to create a list of the most influential infants in the world. Pitt and Jolie's baby Shiloh was named #1, followed by Suri Cruise and Zahara Jolie-Pitt. Influential babies? Seriously? WTF. Come on, do we really need a list of influential kids? What the hell are they influencing? About the only thing influential would be taking a good look at the parent's of a couple of these tykes and making a case for court ordered chastity. I was going to have pizza for dinner, but I was so moved by watching Suri eat mashed green beans that I think I'm a vegetarian now. Wait, wait, yes, I feel it. Suri's Scientologist stare, it's, ah, oh, crap, I can't stop it, Ahhhh, there, now I'm a Scientologist. These kid really are world changers.

The top ten babies are as follows:
1. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
2. Suri Cruise
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt
4. Sean Preston Federline
5. Pax Jolie-Pitt
6. Sam Alexis Woods (Tiger and Elin Woods)
7. David Banda (Madonna and Guy Ritchie)
8. Dannielynn Birkhead
9. Romeo Beckham
10. Cruz Beckham.

 

People.com reports that DNA tests confirm that Eddie Murphy is indeed the father of Melanie Brown's baby. Eddie Murphy once told a Dutch TV Show: I don't know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. Well, guess what dude, now you know. If I were Eddie I would have showed up for the DNA test wearing one of those costumes he's always got in the movies. If a 400-pound white dude showed up for the test he probably could have convinced the doctor not to bother.

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Seeing Brooke Burke hit the street with her baby strapped to her chest got thinking. First I started thinking about what Brooke Burke looks like in bikini (still hot while pregnant). And then I started thinking what kind of modifications I'd need to make to that baby carrier to fit into it myself. Yeah, I'm there are some engineering and balance issues to work out, but the magnificant result is being carried around face first in Brooke Burke's cleavage all day.

Admit it you've always wanted to see this happen on CHiPs. Just once. This clip from Armed and Famous has Erik Estrada getting zapped by a taser and then talking about how one of his balls got enlarged by the experience. It's makes absolutely no sense, but it has Erik Estrada screaming like a baby so it's more than funny. Jack Osbourne gets zapped as well.