I can think of only two things that would convince me to watch Larry King - Christina Aguilera's breasts. You can tell from this clip he's never heard Christina sing before. Ever. I think the mere fact that Larry didn't cause the desk to levitate while starring directly at her chest is definitive proof he's actually no longer alive. You can just see some poor assistant propping up his body and pulling the string in his back before every show. To make up for the crypt keeper here's a few breast-filled Christina headlights, ah, I mean highlights. Yeah, that's it.

The Sun reports that Christina Aguilera has said she plans on having more kids with Jordan "The Troll" Bratman. Which pretty much mean's Christina's popular engorged state is here to stay. Though I'd contest that upon close examination things may be starting to go arwy. So in the interest of public safety, medical research (and our own enjoyment) we're feverishly working on the Aguilera Breast Reconnaissance System to keep hourly tabs on Christina's girls. Donations now being excepted.

Photo: Wenn

Christina Aguilera put in a couple appearances yesterday. First casting her primary vote and then went on to sign copies of her new DVD at Best Buy. This is one of the first good looks at Christina's post-pregnancy body. Wow. Her twin symbols of democracy and freedom will bring tears to your eyes. I'm still baffled at the 42 pounds of make up she alway seems to be wearing, and I'm sure our readers would argue, "who's looking at her face". Sure, but when she's making faces like this, trust me, you're looking.

Photo: Wenn

Eonline is reporting that Christina Aguilera is giving birth AT THIS VERY MINUTE. Supposedly, Christina was admitted to Cedars-Sinai and giving birth to the son of Sasquatch. Oh, just kidding. Actually it's yet unconfirmed whether or not she's giving birth, but that Sasquatch part is scientifically verified by a panel of leading experts.

Update: After a zillion reports on Saturday morning that Christina was in labor next to Nicole Richie - and statements by her reps that she wasn't - it turned out she was. Max Liron Bratman was born on Saturday night at about 10 o'clock via C-Section. (Liron? What the hell is that?)

Photo: wenn.com

Earlier rumors that Britney Spears was pregnant turned out to be totally false, even though In Touch Magazine is going to run a cover story about it. Nice. I tell you what actually is nice - Marie Claire's cover featuring Christina Aguilera naked. Pretty ironic it happened at the same time really. Britney and Christina started out as the two pop darlings. Christina Aguilera just kept getting hotter and ends up looking incredible, even pregnant. Britney ends up back in the trailer and on a tabloid magazine cover with a made up headline. Sounds about right.

Photos: Marie Claire

Rumors are flying that Christina Aguilera is pregnant with Jordan Bratman's baby. NYPost claims it's sources confirm the rumors which have been floating around the last couple of weeks. The pictures of Christina hiding a possible baby bump with a Starbucks bag were taken just a couple weeks ago. I'm not sure why, or how, Christina would keep her pregnancy a secret. If I were Jordan Bratman you couldn't keep me from telling people I knocked up Christina Aguilera. Let's face it they're an aesthetically mismatched couple, and her pregnancy would be proof that I'd actually had sex with Christina Aguilera. Hell, I'd probably be in Washington lobbying for a national holiday for my penis.

Photo: Wenn.com | Source

You'll never guess where Christina Aguilera is going dressed like this. Yeah, really a Yankees game with Bratman in tow. I never knew that going to a baseball game required you apply makeup so you resembled a wax statue at Madame Tussaud's, but that seems to be the case. But I guess that beats looking life beef jerky.

Unfortunately Christina did not forget to put on a bra, otherwise these see through picts would have been classics - speaking of which this Christina see through pretty much is, especially considering the t-shirt she's wearing. As for the rest of the outfit it would be best described hooker fashion done right. The right part being that it's Christina Aguilera.

Christina Aguilera appeared on the Ellen Degeneres and said that she and Jordan Bratman spend sundays naked.

"We have something called naked Sundays. You have to keep marriage alive, spice it up. We do everything naked. We cook naked."

Hearing that Christina Aguilera runs around her house naked all day on Sundays makes my head want to explode. The only thing that keeps me from having to scrap it up with a trowel are the words "Ellen Degeneres". If I were Jordan Bratman you'd find me chopping down trees and buying a printing press to make sure every calendar Christina Aguilera ever saw had only Sundays on it.

Source.

I'm really not surprised by anything anymore. Christina Aguilera wearing a costume that looks like a dominatrix circus ring leader seems pretty much par for the course these days. At least Christina's got more fashion sense than to go around in a potato sack letting her tits hang out.

This is quite the look for Christina, the Where's Waldo stripped top, the giant comic white glasses, the short denim shorts, all topped off by a fine crotch shot. All the combinations of a fashion disaster yet somehow Christina Aguilera is hot as ever.

Recent photos of Christina Aguilera in a see through shirt seem to confirm reports that she has removed her nipple ring. Starpulse News reports that Christina removed her nipple ring in respect for her husband Jordan Bratman. What is more intriguing is that Christina is reported to have 12 piercings? Say what? I'm not really into fake tits, but Christina's done a hell of a job at creating that dirty chick sex appeal and considering she has 11 other piercings I'd hardly think removing one suddenly means repect. At this point the more the better.

Source.

Sorry to our regular readers for the lack of posts. Have been enjoying some R&R in San Diego. It seems the world has come to an end while we were gone. Ana Nicole Smith really is pregnant and Britney and K-Fed might be getting divorced? Should I laugh or cry? Any of MTV's crappy awards usually make for great posts so I'll have to fire up the DVR and get to it. Back at it tomorrow. Peace, love and understanding to y'all.

Holy crap, mother of god. I know just about every gossip site around has posted photos of Christina Aguilera naked in GQ, but dammit that is some fine action. My damn subscription to GQ ran out a while back but photos like this make it worth subscribing again. With Britney popin out kids the long standing duo clearly has a winner - Christina's naked tits! I know they're implants but they look pretty good here. Christina is becoming the new Madonna and we can only hope next up is a sex book.

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Is it me or do Christina Aguilera's boobs look bigger than ever? Pump em up Christina. Combine this photo of her tits with this photo of Aguilera wearing an I deep throat t-shirt and you have yourself one hell of an evening.

First question would be who the hell is Christina Aguilera getting marriage to - Jordan Bratman? Ok, who's that? Ah doesn't matter I guess. I can only imagine this weeks tabs will be filled with photos of Christina Aguilera's wedding. We're sure to be on Christina picture overload and all of it likely to be boring wedding photos - the dress, the cake, the shoes, etc. Christina Aguilera's wedding could only be made interesting if she wore a see through wedding dress that showed her boobs and nipple rings, and then her giant fake boobs popped out as she said "I do". Now those are wedding photos I'd go looking for. I had planned to take some photos of my own of Christina's wedding. I had an elaborate plan to freeze myself into the center of an ice sculpture. I won't go into details, but let's just say things didn't work as planned.

Word is that the Aguilera wedding is to take place in Napa Valley. Christina's going to wear a wedding dress by Christian Lacroix and panties by fruit of the loom (ok I made that part up). Jeweler Stephen Webster made Christina and Jordans wedding bands and giant ass five-carat engagement ring. You could probably choke a horse with that one. We'll have to wait and see how fact Christina jumps on the Britney baby bandwagon. At least Christina Aguilera's not marrying a hill-billy.

File under Christina Aguilera Got Married Jordan Bratman.

Here's a quick weekly celebrity crap recap for ya. Filled with bountiful breast and bottomless idiocy. Hold on, deep breath. ready. Victoria Beckham should officially be named to the next batman villan - leatherface. In honor of New York's Fashion Week we've supplied you a lovely picture of Christina Aguilera and her nipple ring. Braless boobs are what fashion is made of. While at the gym I saw on TV that Eva Longoria, Star Jones and someone else - in between in girth - all showed up somewhere in the same purple and black top. That's funny eh. Not really.

Britney Spears has not yet had her baby, Heidi Klum did give birth to a boy. Survivor Guatemala starts Thursday. The first episode of VH1's My Fair Brady was pretty good and of course had Adrianne Curry naked in the tub. Those two will never last. Matt Damon announced his engagement to Luciana Barrosa, an interior designer who really will never need to work again.

Two things are clear to me from this photo. Christina Aguilera has nice breasts - although seemingly fake. And Christina appears to have a broken finger. Fact of the matter is I know little more. I can only assume that her incurred the injury after having her finger on the pulse of sluttish pop star celebrity for so long. it also seems likely that with her half shut eye's she's about to walk into something painful.

File under Christina Aguilera Breaks Finger.