Christina Milian recently attended a People Magazine event honoring Timbaland. Seriously Timbaland? Ok, but hey, how about that dress? Looks like Christina's taking over where Lindsay and Paris have recently left off. The only celeb we know who likes to dress with more holes in their clohtes is Keira Knightley. Of course poor Keira is missing the key component in the dress-with-a-hole-equation - boobs.

Photo: Wenn

The Golden Globes have been cancelled. Sort of. The question is, do you really care? Didn't think so. Of course without the Golden Globes red carpet you miss out on golden globes of another sort. Yeah, that's right. I'm talking about boobs. Tons of celebrity breasts all pushed up and on display in low cut dresses. Well, since the GGs are a wash this year here's Jennifer Love Hewitt's red carpet cleavage from the 27 Dresses premiere. Consider it a preview of exactly what you'll be missing out on. See, now you do care. And after all that fat bottom talk isn't it great to see JLH's real assets back in action.

Photo: PRPhotos.com

Mariah Carey hit Tao nightclub to bring in the New Year. We figured Mariah and her cleavage would make a good post to help you get back to work. You know, something mindless, probably fake, and completely un-newsworthy to start the year off right and waste more bandwidth out of your day and your bosses pocket.

Photo: Wenn

Dancing with the Stars contestant Jennie Garth appeared in Las Vegas to flip the switch on a replica of the Eiffel Tower Red at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas. I had no idea flipping switches was such a big deal. Of course who would have thought watching aging celebrities do ballroom would become popular either. Of course once you see the show you might understand. Basically it's a bunch of women with incredible bodies who don't wear any underwear and do wear low-cut and/or backless dresses. So that answers that question. I'm still working on why anyone cares about turning on a light, but apparently it does involve drinking wine, so it's got that going for it.

And anyone have a caption for the photo after the jump? It's a classic.

Photo: PRPhotos.com

Kelly Brook has launched her line own perfume and is wisely using her God given talents to market it. Good cleavage can pretty much sell anything. Got a shipment of rusty razors you need to sell? No problem. Square bike tires? Easy. Trust me I know. I took a marketing class or two in college. Most of the assignments I handed in were nothing more than a mess of doodles consisting of boobies and sports cars - and I passed. The professor even said I was 'gifted'.

Photo: Wenn

In order to supply the doctor prescribed recommended daily intake of breasts I've got post up some Hooters' girls singing their newest swimsuit calendar. I haven't been to a Hooters in years and I'll tell you why - because the girl don't look like these. These my friend are quality waitresses, wait, no better than that - food service technicians - with really big boobs. And the advantage is when one of these waitresses serves you everything tastes great. Chicken wings fried in used nuclear reactor water? Sure, bring me more.

Photo: Wenn

With the new TV season I've given on a few shows (Survivor for one) and picked up a couple of others. The season premiere of the Bionic Women was alright. Nothing earth shattering, but nostalgia will keep me watching at least another week or two. Well, that and Michelle Ryan's boobs, ah, I mean Bionic parts, yeah, and lips, and, what was I saying? Here's a few pictures of Michelle Ryan from a summer promotional event. They're old, but you know you're not going to complain. Check out CraveOnline for an interview with Michelle, you know, if you're into words and stuff.

Photo: Wenn

The 59th Annual Emmy Awards took place last night. Award shows are incredibly boring, whether you watch the winning shows are not. Nobody cares about award speeches or special tributes. A funny host can sometimes make them bearable. (And what was the point of having Ryan Seacrest 'host' by the way - he really did nothing). All anyone really cares about at awards like the Emmys are how good, or bad, the celebrities looked. What dress did they wear? Who looked like a stuffed pig, you know, the important things in life.

So in proper Celebrity Crunch style we bring you our Emmy Awards fashion wrap up. We care not about who designed their dress, or cobbled their shoes, no no. Our primary fashion concern revolves around how much skin was NOT covered by their dress. Those finer points of red carpet fashion, like nipple slips, see through dresses and boobs falling out of designer gowns. That's how we roll.

Sadly though, last night's Emmy fashion provided only a small amount of cleavage compared to years past. And let's face it Christina Aguilera's pregnant rack really eclipsed them all. Maria Menounos grabs an honorable mention. Pre-show host Kimberly Caldwell also looked sharp. And we're giving Teri Hatcher the award for most squished looking breasts. Enjoy our red carpet cleavage picture review.

Photo: Wenn | PrPhotos

Kelly Osbourne is playing Mama Morten in the London production of Chicago. If you had told me Kelly was doing theater I probably would have thought they hung her from the ceiling as a stage light. Could she be any whiter? I know Al Gore has done a lot of work on this whole Global Warming thing, but he might have overlooked the fact that there's actually a second sun walking around London. A sun with big boobs, and cleavage, and...what was I talking about?

Photo: Wenn

We all know Britney sucked. Who cares. On to the important stuff. VMA fashion, and by fashion I mean boobs. That's right, it's time for the Celebrity Crunch VMA Celebrity Cleavage Wrap-up. Our unofficial runner up was Beyonce, who only by some miracle managed to keep her boobs from falling out of her dress when she accepted her award. True breast-handling skills. Ashely Simpson gets our nod as does MTVs Audrina Patridge. And let's not forget the everyone's new legal fixation Hayden Panettiere. The Breast in Show Award goes to Tara Conner. Though not really a cleavage photo, this underboob shot takes the cake. Yeah, I know they're fake, but hey, so what. And of course the 'why bother' award goes to Eve and her little paw prints.

Photo: Wenn

Willa Ford tied the knot to hockey player Mike Madono. This would probably make a way more awesome story if I knew anything about the two of them. I think Will Ford sings something. And I actually do know Madono plays for the Stars, whom I don't like, but hey, he scored Willa Form. Regardless, it provides us a great excuse for a Willa Ford cleavage retrospective.

Photo: Wenn

Al Pacino was recently honored an AFI Life Achievement Award. Well deserved. Some pictures here from the red carpet including Leelee Sobieski. She's kind of a random pick form the bunch, but looks great and has the most screwy name. Hugh Hefner even showed up with some bunny tail.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

Hey it's our own little exclusive. For being so popular there aren't a lot of pictures out there of Giada DeLaurentiis. And even though ours looks like they were snapped from the (broken) Hubbell telescope it's still Giada. The photos are from a book signing in Scottsdale, AZ. Giada's huge popularity boils down to the fact that she perfectly combines two of the essential ingredients basic to the life of any male creature - good food and great cleavage.

If there was any ever doubt to why Jessica Simpson is popular (and yes, I wonder constantly) the one word answer is boobs. Damn. That's some cleavage. She's also rather tan and seems to have died her hair brown, which could have all taken place months ago, but I never noticed because I was too busy staring at her chest. Jessica Simpson could grow a third eye and a moustache and no one would be the wiser if she walked around with a dress like that and her nipples half way out.

Winona Ryder reminds us why we like Winona Ryder - those breasts. These photos of her clevage look like they were shot from the Hubbell Telescope, or maybe the moon. I have no idea how you acheive that angle of breast coverage, but it's excellent. I like Winona, she's cute, kookie and she steals stuff. It's all kind of hot. I think these shots were taken on set of a new film, so perhaps she's getting that whole acting thing back on track.

I know Madonna's getting a bit long in the tooth for the younger crowd, but she cleans up pretty well these days considering she's pushing 95. This see through action and these white dress pokies are pretty good proof she either looks good for her age or has stolen the anti-gravity machine out of my basement and fashioned into one off her crazy bras.

You know it's a slow news day when you post photos of celebrities getting coffee. Michelle Trachtenberg walking the streets with a cup of Starbucks is clearly not news, but seriously is any of the stuff we post real news. By now you're wondering why you even started reading this and you're probably just starring at Michelle's cleavage wondering why you've never noticed it before. In which case, hey, it's news to you.

Kellie Pickler sang on American Idol last night and showed up with what looked like some fake breasts. Implants or not, Kellie seemed rather proud of her cleavage. The Burning Bra posted a photo comparison of Kellie Pickler's new boobs vs. old boobs. Not sure if you can really tell, but hey, they're boobs, it doesn't hurt to look. Ryan Seacrest does a great impression of a straight guy in the video acting like he's interested in Kellie's boobies.

I guess technically Mayra-Veronica's boobs are Grammy pre- award show clevage, but whatever. It's FHM's sexiest women in of the year in a low cut dress, do you care. This my friend is what award shows are all about. And I'll leave it to your imagination (fantasy) as to just what she's doing with the left hand in her dress.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

This picture of Jodie Marsh comes from a recent FHM event and present a world of paradox. Let me illustrate. Super big celebrity boobs - or - crazed women about to eat you. Celebrity cleavage you'd glady sleep inside of - or - the crazy deranged women that chases you in your dreams. Luscious melons the size or your head - or - explosive devices wrapped in vulcan body armor. The decision is tough I know. If this photo Marsh's massive breasts leaves you feeling less than erect try this one of Jodie in a see through shirt.

Rachel Hunter is so a MILF. No clue where this recent photo of Rachel is from, but i pass her along as a one fine looking woman.

Time for a new game folks. It's called name these celebrity breasts. I'll give you one hint. She didn't win an Oscar and they're not Natalie Portman's - ok that's two hints. Obviously you can click on the cleavage photo to find out who's boobs they are - otherwise this game would really be a game now. And if that photo is enough, try these boobs too.

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