According to People.com Rob Lowe is suing not only his former nannies (yes that's right, more than one), but also a former chef. Rob alleges the chef was stealing prescription drugs and having sex in his bed with 'third parties'. The nannies, he claims, were trying to extort $1.5 million from his in exchange for not airing his dirty laundry. Man life's a bitch when you can find good help to cook your food and clean up after your kids. Some details:

In the 19-page filing against the former chef, Lowe claims the ex-employee had sex on their bed "with third parties" when the family was out of town, stole prescription drugs from their medicine cabinet that he later distributed to his friends, broke several security cameras and overcharged them for food.

The suit against the other ex-nanny accuses her of engaging in a scheme to hurt the couple by spreading "malicious lies" about both Rob and Sheryl. While at work, she also allegedly used "profane and vulgar" language to describe the "intimate and salacious" details of her personal life.

Photo: Wenn.com | Source

I think OK Magazine must be in a conspiracy with Asthon Kutcher trying to prove the unwashed masses will believe anything they see. OK is running a Britney cover with details on her diet secrets. "Britney Lost 15 Lbs in Just 4 Weeks!" And you can to if you have a lobotomy. Turns out the 'slimmer Britney' photo that OK ran is five fucking years old! Props to TMZ for the good catch. Completely unrelated snap of Britney just so you she's still alive and not 15 pounds lighter.

Photo: Wenn

I've just spent the last five minutes checking my calendar and dropping things off my roof trying to; a) determine if it was Aprils fools day, or b) test gravity to assure myself I wasn't living in a parallel universe. Why you ask? Because I just read that Britney taught a class of 4-7 year-olds how to dance. People reports that Britney Spears conducted a dance class for kids at Millennium Dance studio where parents willingly allowed their children to let Britney lead them in dance wearing ripped fishnets and smoking like Thomas the Train.

In addition to choreographed routines to vintage Madonna songs "True Blue" and "Material Girl" and "Holiday," Spears – wearing ripped fishnets, red boy-shorts and a blue top – also allowed her pupils to free-style dance.

"She even played age-appropriate games in a circle, pretending to be a choo-choo train," Baker said. "Britney was just amazing with the kids and everyone ended up having a blast. At the end of the hour class, all the kids hugged Britney and she seemed very happy."

Are these people out of their mind? This story can't be really true. Look at those pictures. Parent's are letting 'that' teach their kids? Maybe this was like one of those hard knocks lessons, like, "look kids, you shape up or we'll send you to see that crazy lady again - everyday!".

Photo: Wenn

If you're to believe what Lynne Spears has to say Britney is not really crazy - instead she was being drugged by manager / friend Sam Lutfi.

In a six-page declaration, Lynne Spears says that when she and her friend Jackie arrived at her daughter's house, Lutfi -  a constant companion of Britney - revealed he was giving her drugs.

"Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney's pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdol and Seroquel," Lynne says.

"He told us that he puts them in her food and that was the reason she had been quiet for the last three days," Lynne continues. "She had been sleeping. He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could give her drugs to heal her brain."

Lutfi also demanded that Lynne do what he ordered, according to Lynne.

Wow, that's some crazy stuff. Keep in mind these are only allegations, but Sam Lutfi sounds like quite the mastermind. I don't get it though, what kind of dumb ass move is it turn someone into a walking zombie who has to pee every five minutes at RiteAid and walks around thinking she's British. Where's the fun in that? If you're going to bust some mind control mind moves on a chick turn her into something cool like a nymphomaniac-workout-addict who likes to clean the house and rob banks. What kind of dumb ass move is to turn Britney Spears into Britney Spears?

Photo: wenn.com | Source

Morning Crazy Train Update
I just couldn't be bothered to actual create a new post. So to update Friday's fiasco People.com now reports that Britney be in the clink for 14 more days and may have her attorneys object to the courts ruling that set up the conservatorship with her father in charge. It may not even matter what she tells her attorney's to do because technically Jamie, as conservator, has the power to fire them, which is totally comical.

From Friday:

A Los Angeles court has stepped up and given legal control of Britney Spears to her father Jamie Spears. In attempt to save Britney from herself a temporary 'conservatorship' is in effect until Monday.

Jamie now has the power to restrict any visitors to Britney. He is also in charge of arranging 24-hour caretakers for her, as well as security.

In addition, the judge gave Jamie the power to cut off all of the singer’s credit cards and to prosecute any restraining orders on her behalf.

Man, Britney really went batshit crazy. I guess you can only go around so long swinging umbrellas and speaking in an English accent before a court steps in and gives you back to your parents. Where's the court order allowing the general public to strap Adnan and Sam to a rocket and fire them into space? I'm pretty sure that could only help matters - and probably Britney too.

Photo: wenn.com | Source

Perhaps Britney Spears isn't as stupid as looks. (K. Stop laughing already). The latest Britney Spears rumor is she has been tipping off the paparazzi photographers as to where she's going and when. Brit's pal Sam Lutfi was deposed by Kevin Federline's attorneys and sources say part of the questioning involved whether or not he helped Britney strike a deal with photo agency x17 for payouts on photos. E! online reports:

A member of the Spears camp told E! News that no matter what, "Sam would never sell [Spears] out. There is no bigger supporter of Britney than Sam. I can't imagine Kaplan is going to get much out of him."

Speculation that Spears was in cahoots with the paparazzi intensified this week, when photog Alison Silva told the New York Post the singer tips off the hordes of shutterbugs to her every move.

"Britney is in on it. [She] calls the paparazzi before she goes out. We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It's all staged," Silva said.

I wouldn't be surprised one bit it Britney was collecting payola from agencies in exchange for a tip off. What is surprising is that someone would schedule photographers to snap pictures of them and then continue to act like a total retard. The lack of underwear, bras and general class makes the whole evil genius thing fall apart - though she does have the British accent working, so maybe.

Photo: Wenn

It seems despite numerous break up rumors and even mentions of retraining orders, photographer Adnan Ghalib and Britney Spears are still together. Here are recent pictures of Adnan and Britney with a giant stain on her shirt looking sharp. And it sounds like Adnan's game for having a baby with Britney.

Adnan Ghalib told "The Insider" and "Entertainment Tonight" that the pop star bought a pregnancy test because she was "hoping" she was with child.

"I think she felt she was," said Ghalib, 35, adding that the test was negative.

As Ghalib was admitting his sexual relationship with Spears yesterday, his wife of four years, AzLynn Berry, filed for separation, citing "irreconcilable differences." Earlier this week, Berry said that she and Ghalib were "living together as man and wife" until Britney came along.

It blows my mind someone would even dare to procreate with Britney at this point. Can this story possibly be real? A court order (and all forms of common sense) say she shouldn't be around the kids she has now.

Photo: Wenn | Source

Updating our earlier post on the death Heath Ledger. Heath was not found at Mark-Kate Olsen's apartment as earlier reported. The lastest report says he likely died of an overdose, whether it was accidental or a suicide is not yet known. No foul play is suspected at this point. The NY Times reports:

the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger naked and unconscious on a bed, with sleeping pills - both prescription medication and nonprescription - on a night table. They moved his body to the floor and attempted to revive him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities.

Where the story about Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment came from is anyone's guess. Seems like kind of a strange random report. There has to be some reasoning behind it. A rep for Olsen confirmed the apartment was not hers. The official statement by the police department lists the residence at 421 Broome Street.

Britney Spears was spotted checking out pregnancy tests with boyfriend Adnan Ghalib on one of their daily sojourns to RiteAid. I have no doubt it's conceivable Britney Spears is pregnant again, but I'd say it's more likely that the two them confused the pregnancy tests with a box of lollipops.

In more Britney news Life and Style reported that Britney stripped naked in front of employees at the Betsey Johnson store and then spend 45 minutes in the dressing room with him 'making weird noises'. Which would have lot to do with why Britney needed to buy a pregnancy test. Expect that I think one occurred after the other. Who knows really. You'd need a team of scientists to even begin to figure out exactly what these two are up to. Hearing Adnan and Britney decided to have a baby while waiting in line at Starbucks is about as believable as anything else she does.

Damn this guy. Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace is claiming to be pregnant with David Spade's baby. Grace appeared in the March 2005 issue of Playboy and has appeared a number of times on E!'s The Girls Next Door. While no paternity test has been taken Spade told TMZ "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility".

Whoever can bottle David Spade's power is going to make a fortune. The hell with Superman, Spade's superpowers are the real deal. The guy looks like a homeless lawn gnome and he runs around sleeping with Playboy Playmates and Heather Locklear. See guys, it's not how you look, you just need to be really funny. Really funny, and really rich.

The NY Daily News is running a bit on how Will Smith handed out Scientology 'gift cards' as wrap presents on his last film.

His recent gift after wrapping next summer's comedy "Hancock" was a card good for a personality test at your local Scientology center.

Is Will Smith a Scientologist? Not openly as far as I know, but the story also has a quote from an Access Hollywood interview that makes is sound a lot like Tom Cruise might might have scored another celebrity conversion.

I was introduced to it by Tom, and I'm a student of world religion. I was raised in a Baptist household. I went to a Catholic school, but the ideas of the Bible are 98% the same ideas of Scientology, 98% the same ideas of Hinduism and Buddhism."

98% the same huh. Ok. That leaves a 2% difference consisting of super-insane-f-ing-nuts-alien-ramblings that make you appear 100% crazy. Cool math.

Photo: PRPhotos.com Source

Britney Spears is back in LA and spent the evening braless and carless. Her white Mercedes got a flat tire while driving in traffic through Brentwood. And like any good driver does, Britney just left the car in the middle of the road and hitched a ride with a paparazzi photographer.

Also on the paparazzi front Britney has reportedly dumped photog Adnan Ghalib who is rumored to be selling photos of their weekend together. I'm not a rocket scientist (yet), but I'd figure that if you're going to shack up with a paparazzi photographer he's going to take naked pictures of you. It's in his blood. It's what he does. Just like the video camera I'd hide in the closet to film us having sex. Wait, did I say "I"? No, no, I mean the paparazzi, yeah, that's it. Them.

Photo: Wenn

I'm pretty sure Britney's supplied us with more than enough crazy for the week, but here's one more. Author Andrew Morton has written a book claiming that Katie Holmes was impregnated with the sperm of L. Ron Hubbard and that Suri Cruise is not Tom's baby. The NY Daily News Reports

Andrew Morton's unauthorized book claims Cruise, 45, is second-highest leader in his controversial Church of Scientology, and speculates 20-month-old Suri Cruise may have secretly been fathered by late church founder L. Ron Hubbard.

London's Daily Mail published book excerpts in which Morton, without citing sources, says fanatical Scientology insiders wonder if third wife Katie Holmes "had been impregnated with Hubbard's frozen sperm.

Ah. Ok, sure, dead guys' sperm kept for 20 years to get Katie Holmes pregnant. I think Morton and Britney can get a two-for-one on a nice padded cell.

Photo: Wenn

Britney Spears is free today after spending most of the weekend in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center under 'observation'. Dr. Phil even got his giant head into the act and 'at the request of her family' visited her in the hospital to try and work his voodoo and cure Britney. After being released Britney and paparazzi hook up Adnan Ghalib fled LA.

Brit and Ghalib were spotted at the Daily Grill in Palm Desert around 10:00 AM on Sunday, seemingly unmolested by the paparazzi. What's more, despite the drama of the days before, Britney "seemed in a really good mood, laughing with the guy she was with." She shielded herself behind large, dark sunglasses and "had a champagne mimosa to drink."

Wouldn't it be awesome if Britney actual did the Dr. Phil Show. It's be like watching monkeys perform brain surgery. They could film the whole thing from a Starbucks while Britney sucked down lattes.

Photo: Wenn | [Vegas Confidential via TMZ]