Must take cover - Earth imploding. Britney Spears was spotted looking, ah. good. I'm not sure how many souls had to be sold, or what miracle of science was employed, but Britney's looking better. Full head of hair, make up, even all her clothes! And it appears to have landed her a role in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Papers reports:

A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She's delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around.

"It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."

Tarantino's a strange cat. He makes cool films but in public life appears to be the biggest dork ass I think I've even seen. Hard to tell whether or not this rap is real. He's seems smarter enough not get involved with that trainwreck, but you never know.

I haven't bothered to post on the Alex Rodriquez Madonna affiar rumors until now because well, hell, I'm lazy and would rather post photos of boobs then aging pop stars and jocks, but the rumors just keep on keepin' on. And now that you throw Lenny Kravitz into the mix you've got a star studded threesome. Wait, foursome? The NY Daily News has the complete run down here, but long story short is that A-Rod supposedly hooked up with Madonna, Madonna's rumored to be splitting with Guy Ritchie, A-Rod's now splitting with his wife and A-Rod's wife, Cynthia, is doing Lenny Kravitz. Now keep in mind that last part about Kravitz came from the Daily News quoting Pezez Hilton, so it's as good as reading tea leaves out of a garage can. And clearly if you're Alex Rodriguez and you choose Madonna out of oh, everybody, then you're probably legally blind and it might explain the Yankees state of suckage.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were reluctantly spotted at La Scala celebrating Lindsay's 22nd birthday. Hard to believe it's been over a year since Lindsay's rehab stint and subsequent low-key 21st birthday. I'm not sure we'll ever get an outright admission of a lesbian fling, but Sam and Lindsay seem to be spotted everywhere lately. I'd argue that a hot POA like Lindsay could do a million times better Ronson, but figuring out what make lesbians attract is about as easy as doing a Rubik's cube on shrums. So, time for a poll. Is Lindsay lunchin' at the Y? Vote below. Happy B-day to Lindsay.

poll by twiigs.com

Been a while since there was any truly good gossip. OK Magazine is writing that Lindsay Lohan has a secret sister.

Linds' father, Michael Lohan, has admitted to OK! that, while married - but at the time separated - to now-ex-wife Dina Lohan, he had a relationship with another woman which resulted in a pregnancy.

Wow, that's a good one. Personally I think we need another Lohan sister like we need more midget sex tapes, but there's nothing like an extra love-child to throw wrench into things and grab headlines. Keep in mind we're talking about OK as the source. Few snaps of the original braless wonder on the set of Labor Pains.

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Just caught wind of breaking celebrity sex tape news. Still photos from an alleged Britney Spears sex tape are hitting the net. If you recall there were rumors a while back that Britney and Adnan Ghalib has made themselves a sex tape while in Mexcio. That sounded logical enough all in all, but a tape never turned up. Now these supposed stills for the tape are up on the net. You can hit them here. They're nsfw obviously. Basically some naked chick in the shower. Yeah, she looks like Britney a bit, and they managed to photoshop Britney's tattoo on her wrist, but there seems to be no cesarean scar. So I'm calling them fake. And trust me, we researched the issue. Let me tell you, comparing those nude photos to all of the other supposed Britney sex tapes took some real work. Someone's got to do it.

I'm not sure if you can officially call this sculking, but we'll run with that. Cameron Diaz was spotted leaving Chateau Marmont with a 'mystery dude'. Who is he? Hell, we have no idea. We'd guess some guys with a Joker fetish. Bigger question is why the hell is her car so filthy? And a Prius? Yeah, go green, all cool, but how about a Telsa?

I'm not sure whether to file this on in the WTF? category, or "Yeah, that sounds about right". Britney Spears is apparently receiving some 'spiritual guidance' from the Dolly Llama himself Mel Gibson. People reports that the most recent meeting of the minds took place at - you ready - a cigar bar. Yeaah.

For more than two-and-a-half hours, the singer, 26, and the actor-filmmaker, 52, met in what was confirmed to PEOPLE as a more of an ongoing guidance session than a business pow-wow.

Of course this isn't Britney's first brush with Mr. Great. She vacation with Mel and his family a while back. Here's some recent shots of Britney out doing, ah, hum, whatever.

Face plate Pete Wentz is an ass - A Socialite's Life
Mackenzie Rosman throws in some tongue - Egotastic
Diapers for Winehouse? - Yeeeah
Karina Smirnoff slips the nip - HollywoodTuna
Sandee Westgate's Breasts Review National Treasure 2 - Tunaflix
Wet t-shirt contest onboard a moving plane - pilot joins in - Tshirtwatch
Whiskey sour time baby - Mr. Booze
This dude straps rockets to his back, flies like a bird. WTF - GadgetCrunch
Amy Winehose and Pete Doherty play with baby mice (retards) - Crunch Community
Bigger and better - Xtina's boobs - The Crunch
Dunst wasn't drunk - just depressed. Ahh huh. - Dlisted
Kim Kardashian's ass hits the Whitehouse - Bastardly
Find out which Playboy Platmate is sporting a Laker's jersey and no pants.

Tell me these two aren't getting down to business. Hell, even People has jumped into the lesbian fray. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson has been spotted (in photos everywhere) getting pretty damn friendly at Cannes. Of course rumors that Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian are nothing new, but the Ronson kiss is about as out there as it's gotten so far. Though this isn't the first time we've spotted Lindsay kissing a chick. Hit up SplashNews for the complete photo play-by-play of Lindsay's lesbian lip lock.

According to People.com Rob Lowe is suing not only his former nannies (yes that's right, more than one), but also a former chef. Rob alleges the chef was stealing prescription drugs and having sex in his bed with 'third parties'. The nannies, he claims, were trying to extort $1.5 million from his in exchange for not airing his dirty laundry. Man life's a bitch when you can find good help to cook your food and clean up after your kids. Some details:

In the 19-page filing against the former chef, Lowe claims the ex-employee had sex on their bed "with third parties" when the family was out of town, stole prescription drugs from their medicine cabinet that he later distributed to his friends, broke several security cameras and overcharged them for food.

The suit against the other ex-nanny accuses her of engaging in a scheme to hurt the couple by spreading "malicious lies" about both Rob and Sheryl. While at work, she also allegedly used "profane and vulgar" language to describe the "intimate and salacious" details of her personal life.

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I think OK Magazine must be in a conspiracy with Asthon Kutcher trying to prove the unwashed masses will believe anything they see. OK is running a Britney cover with details on her diet secrets. "Britney Lost 15 Lbs in Just 4 Weeks!" And you can to if you have a lobotomy. Turns out the 'slimmer Britney' photo that OK ran is five fucking years old! Props to TMZ for the good catch. Completely unrelated snap of Britney just so you she's still alive and not 15 pounds lighter.

I've just spent the last five minutes checking my calendar and dropping things off my roof trying to; a) determine if it was Aprils fools day, or b) test gravity to assure myself I wasn't living in a parallel universe. Why you ask? Because I just read that Britney taught a class of 4-7 year-olds how to dance. People reports that Britney Spears conducted a dance class for kids at Millennium Dance studio where parents willingly allowed their children to let Britney lead them in dance wearing ripped fishnets and smoking like Thomas the Train.

In addition to choreographed routines to vintage Madonna songs "True Blue" and "Material Girl" and "Holiday," Spears – wearing ripped fishnets, red boy-shorts and a blue top – also allowed her pupils to free-style dance.

"She even played age-appropriate games in a circle, pretending to be a choo-choo train," Baker said. "Britney was just amazing with the kids and everyone ended up having a blast. At the end of the hour class, all the kids hugged Britney and she seemed very happy."

Are these people out of their mind? This story can't be really true. Look at those pictures. Parent's are letting 'that' teach their kids? Maybe this was like one of those hard knocks lessons, like, "look kids, you shape up or we'll send you to see that crazy lady again - everyday!".

If you're to believe what Lynne Spears has to say Britney is not really crazy - instead she was being drugged by manager / friend Sam Lutfi.

In a six-page declaration, Lynne Spears says that when she and her friend Jackie arrived at her daughter's house, Lutfi -  a constant companion of Britney - revealed he was giving her drugs.

"Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney's pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdol and Seroquel," Lynne says.

"He told us that he puts them in her food and that was the reason she had been quiet for the last three days," Lynne continues. "She had been sleeping. He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could give her drugs to heal her brain."

Lutfi also demanded that Lynne do what he ordered, according to Lynne.

Wow, that's some crazy stuff. Keep in mind these are only allegations, but Sam Lutfi sounds like quite the mastermind. I don't get it though, what kind of dumb ass move is it turn someone into a walking zombie who has to pee every five minutes at RiteAid and walks around thinking she's British. Where's the fun in that? If you're going to bust some mind control mind moves on a chick turn her into something cool like a nymphomaniac-workout-addict who likes to clean the house and rob banks. What kind of dumb ass move is to turn Britney Spears into Britney Spears?

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Morning Crazy Train Update
I just couldn't be bothered to actual create a new post. So to update Friday's fiasco People.com now reports that Britney be in the clink for 14 more days and may have her attorneys object to the courts ruling that set up the conservatorship with her father in charge. It may not even matter what she tells her attorney's to do because technically Jamie, as conservator, has the power to fire them, which is totally comical.

From Friday:

A Los Angeles court has stepped up and given legal control of Britney Spears to her father Jamie Spears. In attempt to save Britney from herself a temporary 'conservatorship' is in effect until Monday.

Jamie now has the power to restrict any visitors to Britney. He is also in charge of arranging 24-hour caretakers for her, as well as security.

In addition, the judge gave Jamie the power to cut off all of the singer’s credit cards and to prosecute any restraining orders on her behalf.

Man, Britney really went batshit crazy. I guess you can only go around so long swinging umbrellas and speaking in an English accent before a court steps in and gives you back to your parents. Where's the court order allowing the general public to strap Adnan and Sam to a rocket and fire them into space? I'm pretty sure that could only help matters - and probably Britney too.

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Perhaps Britney Spears isn't as stupid as looks. (K. Stop laughing already). The latest Britney Spears rumor is she has been tipping off the paparazzi photographers as to where she's going and when. Brit's pal Sam Lutfi was deposed by Kevin Federline's attorneys and sources say part of the questioning involved whether or not he helped Britney strike a deal with photo agency x17 for payouts on photos. E! online reports:

A member of the Spears camp told E! News that no matter what, "Sam would never sell [Spears] out. There is no bigger supporter of Britney than Sam. I can't imagine Kaplan is going to get much out of him."

Speculation that Spears was in cahoots with the paparazzi intensified this week, when photog Alison Silva told the New York Post the singer tips off the hordes of shutterbugs to her every move.

"Britney is in on it. [She] calls the paparazzi before she goes out. We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It's all staged," Silva said.

I wouldn't be surprised one bit it Britney was collecting payola from agencies in exchange for a tip off. What is surprising is that someone would schedule photographers to snap pictures of them and then continue to act like a total retard. The lack of underwear, bras and general class makes the whole evil genius thing fall apart - though she does have the British accent working, so maybe.

It seems despite numerous break up rumors and even mentions of retraining orders, photographer Adnan Ghalib and Britney Spears are still together. Here are recent pictures of Adnan and Britney with a giant stain on her shirt looking sharp. And it sounds like Adnan's game for having a baby with Britney.

Adnan Ghalib told "The Insider" and "Entertainment Tonight" that the pop star bought a pregnancy test because she was "hoping" she was with child.

"I think she felt she was," said Ghalib, 35, adding that the test was negative.

As Ghalib was admitting his sexual relationship with Spears yesterday, his wife of four years, AzLynn Berry, filed for separation, citing "irreconcilable differences." Earlier this week, Berry said that she and Ghalib were "living together as man and wife" until Britney came along.

It blows my mind someone would even dare to procreate with Britney at this point. Can this story possibly be real? A court order (and all forms of common sense) say she shouldn't be around the kids she has now.


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Updating our earlier post on the death Heath Ledger. Heath was not found at Mark-Kate Olsen's apartment as earlier reported. The lastest report says he likely died of an overdose, whether it was accidental or a suicide is not yet known. No foul play is suspected at this point. The NY Times reports:

the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger naked and unconscious on a bed, with sleeping pills - both prescription medication and nonprescription - on a night table. They moved his body to the floor and attempted to revive him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities.

Where the story about Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment came from is anyone's guess. Seems like kind of a strange random report. There has to be some reasoning behind it. A rep for Olsen confirmed the apartment was not hers. The official statement by the police department lists the residence at 421 Broome Street.

Britney Spears was spotted checking out pregnancy tests with boyfriend Adnan Ghalib on one of their daily sojourns to RiteAid. I have no doubt it's conceivable Britney Spears is pregnant again, but I'd say it's more likely that the two them confused the pregnancy tests with a box of lollipops.

In more Britney news Life and Style reported that Britney stripped naked in front of employees at the Betsey Johnson store and then spend 45 minutes in the dressing room with him 'making weird noises'. Which would have lot to do with why Britney needed to buy a pregnancy test. Expect that I think one occurred after the other. Who knows really. You'd need a team of scientists to even begin to figure out exactly what these two are up to. Hearing Adnan and Britney decided to have a baby while waiting in line at Starbucks is about as believable as anything else she does.

Damn this guy. Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace is claiming to be pregnant with David Spade's baby. Grace appeared in the March 2005 issue of Playboy and has appeared a number of times on E!'s The Girls Next Door. While no paternity test has been taken Spade told TMZ "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility".

Whoever can bottle David Spade's power is going to make a fortune. The hell with Superman, Spade's superpowers are the real deal. The guy looks like a homeless lawn gnome and he runs around sleeping with Playboy Playmates and Heather Locklear. See guys, it's not how you look, you just need to be really funny. Really funny, and really rich.

Check out Jillian Grace naked here (nsfw).

The NY Daily News is running a bit on how Will Smith handed out Scientology 'gift cards' as wrap presents on his last film.

His recent gift after wrapping next summer's comedy "Hancock" was a card good for a personality test at your local Scientology center.

Is Will Smith a Scientologist? Not openly as far as I know, but the story also has a quote from an Access Hollywood interview that makes is sound a lot like Tom Cruise might might have scored another celebrity conversion.

I was introduced to it by Tom, and I'm a student of world religion. I was raised in a Baptist household. I went to a Catholic school, but the ideas of the Bible are 98% the same ideas of Scientology, 98% the same ideas of Hinduism and Buddhism."

98% the same huh. Ok. That leaves a 2% difference consisting of super-insane-f-ing-nuts-alien-ramblings that make you appear 100% crazy. Cool math.

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Britney Spears is back in LA and spent the evening braless and carless. Her white Mercedes got a flat tire while driving in traffic through Brentwood. And like any good driver does, Britney just left the car in the middle of the road and hitched a ride with a paparazzi photographer.

Also on the paparazzi front Britney has reportedly dumped photog Adnan Ghalib who is rumored to be selling photos of their weekend together. I'm not a rocket scientist (yet), but I'd figure that if you're going to shack up with a paparazzi photographer he's going to take naked pictures of you. It's in his blood. It's what he does. Just like the video camera I'd hide in the closet to film us having sex. Wait, did I say "I"? No, no, I mean the paparazzi, yeah, that's it. Them.

I'm pretty sure Britney's supplied us with more than enough crazy for the week, but here's one more. Author Andrew Morton has written a book claiming that Katie Holmes was impregnated with the sperm of L. Ron Hubbard and that Suri Cruise is not Tom's baby. The NY Daily News Reports

Andrew Morton's unauthorized book claims Cruise, 45, is second-highest leader in his controversial Church of Scientology, and speculates 20-month-old Suri Cruise may have secretly been fathered by late church founder L. Ron Hubbard.

London's Daily Mail published book excerpts in which Morton, without citing sources, says fanatical Scientology insiders wonder if third wife Katie Holmes "had been impregnated with Hubbard's frozen sperm.

Ah. Ok, sure, dead guys' sperm kept for 20 years to get Katie Holmes pregnant. I think Morton and Britney can get a two-for-one on a nice padded cell.

 

Britney Spears is free today after spending most of the weekend in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center under 'observation'. Dr. Phil even got his giant head into the act and 'at the request of her family' visited her in the hospital to try and work his voodoo and cure Britney. After being released Britney and paparazzi hook up Adnan Ghalib fled LA.

Brit and Ghalib were spotted at the Daily Grill in Palm Desert around 10:00 AM on Sunday, seemingly unmolested by the paparazzi. What's more, despite the drama of the days before, Britney "seemed in a really good mood, laughing with the guy she was with." She shielded herself behind large, dark sunglasses and "had a champagne mimosa to drink."

Wouldn't it be awesome if Britney actual did the Dr. Phil Show. It's be like watching monkeys perform brain surgery. They could film the whole thing from a Starbucks while Britney sucked down lattes.

[Vegas Confidential via TMZ]