Kelly Osbourne is playing Mama Morten in the London production of Chicago. If you had told me Kelly was doing theater I probably would have thought they hung her from the ceiling as a stage light. Could she be any whiter? I know Al Gore has done a lot of work on this whole Global Warming thing, but he might have overlooked the fact that there's actually a second sun walking around London. A sun with big boobs, and cleavage, and...what was I talking about?