At this point I'm fairly certain Lilo and Sam had some sort of lesbian love in and burned all her bras. I'm not complaining, as a matter of fact I think it's a great idea for a social movement. Sadly a recent reader comment questioned how we knew she wasn't wearing a bra. Shame shame. In case there's any doubt, here's some new picts for ya. Maybe she should just consider going with a cupless model?
(Ah, ok our research team just looked into that Bra Burning movement idea and says it's already been done. From the photos we say I think they maybe need to put some age restraints in place though.)
Lindsay Lohan hit the streets braless yesterday with boyfriend, girlfriend, future wife Sam Ronson. Since I was too busy looking at her boobs I almost didn't notice what looks like an engagement ring. Check it here in the HQ. Tough call, but let's just run with that one for now. Why not.
When not skulking around with Sam Ronson Lindsay Lohan's been putting in real work time on the set of her film Labor Pains. While not newsworthy in any way, it is the first time in a while we've spotted any Lohan cleavage. Sadly Lindsay has yet to start her summer parade of bikini's so we're scrapping low her for summer rackage.
Lindsay Lohan's laid low for a while but she apparently hit the town last night. Gatecrasher reports that Lindsay and gal pal Sam Ronson with the Hawaiian Tropic Zone with Grey Goose in hand.
The starlet - who is supposed to be in Alcoholics Anonymous - turned up around midnight to promoter Joey Morrissey's Big Saturday party at Hawaiian Tropic Zone.
At least two witnesses watched her consume vodka cocktails until she appeared to become drowsy and left at about 4 a.m. "She was chain-smoking all night," says a spy. "Her eyes were a little glassy and she was holding her head in her hands, but she left on her own two feet."
Ahhh, what are they worried about? It said she could still walk? I'd call that a mellow evening. Lindsay has been putting in the time with Samantha Ronson though. The snaps are from some quality bonding time last week. The thought of Lindsay and Samantha getting their lesbian groove on is awesome expect for the Samantha Ronson part.
While the buzz of Lindsay Lohan's nude photos in New York Magazine has died down Showbiz Spy reports that Hugh Hefner would like to see Lindsay take it all off again. Supposedly Hef has offered Lindsay the chance to get naked in Playboy and recreate another famous Marilyn Monroe moment with a nude swim - as Marilyn did on the movie "Something's Got to Give". Sounds good to me. Nevermind the fact that the movie was never technically finished because Marilyn Monroe killed herself during the production. Hef's a pursuasive guy, let's see if he's still got it in him - and maybe in Lindsay too.
Naked pictures of Lindsay Lohan may soon be hitting the newstands. Lindsay appears completely naked in a photoshoot for New York magazine. The multi-page spread is a tribute to Marilyn Monroe and recreates some of Monroe's classic nudes. Lohan has some of the most followed breasts in the business, loved by many, and already seen by many more, Lindsay's most popular assets can soon be seen by aall. While many of the shots feature Lindsay half covered in see through fabrics, there are a few that are completely unobscured. Fans of Lohan have never had a shortage of boob pictures - with near famous 'slips' like this from the GM fashion show, or these kind of see through snaps. But the Holy Grail of celebrity boobs pictures have been located and they're coming to a newstand near you. Oh, and did you want to actually see the nude pictures of Lindsay Lohan in New York Magazine. Well here you go.
Pants? Who said anything about pants? As founding member of the ISPC (International Society of Pantsless Celebrities) Lindsay Lohan went shopping without any. At Gucci on Rodeo Drive no less. If I haven't said it before, I'll say it now this is a movement I clearly stand behind, or preferably stand under.
The 28th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards nominations were announced today. Among the leading Razzie contenders were Lindsay Lohan, Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy. Lindsay's film I Know Who Killed Me received a 9 nominations for lameness all by itself. If you watch Lindsay's sex scene from the movie you'll know it's bad. How do you screw up a sex scene? Jessica Biel also received a nomination for her work in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.
I have no doubt some of these movies sucked rocks, but I'm throwin' the flag on the voting. What kind of cross section is it when you only mail 747 ballots out? Not even that many people actually saw Lindsay's movie. And Jessica Biel receiving a Razzies nomination? I happen to see Chuck and Larry recently and I can tell you, after seeing Jessica Biel soaking wet in her bra and panties I can't remember a single thing about the movie anyway. What kind of animal would vote against her?
It's been quite a while since we spotted Lindsay Lohan on the red carpet. She was back out last night for the premiere of the much anticipated Cloverfield. And of course was sporting the tight black dress with the obligatory Lohan cleavage. Nice to see Lindsay back in form minus the trouble.
A video of Lindsay Lohan chugging a bottle of champagne on New Year's Eve has everyone wondering if she's relapsed. The video which first appeared on TMZ shows Lindsay carrying around a bottle of champagne and drinking right from it. Lindsay's rep responded to People:
"After being handed a champagne bottle while on a dance floor in Italy on New Year's Eve and drinking from it, the good news is that Lindsay stopped herself, called her sponsor, and got herself back on track," her lawyer, Blair Berk, tells PEOPLE. "There is no magic cure here. The most unfortunate part of this is that Lindsay has to share her 'one day at a time' with the entire world."
Yes, she has to share her 'one day at a time' with the entire world and her body with all of Italy. At this point I'm wondering if the only way to keep Lindsay from falling off the wagon is to dress the wagon up like a giant penis.
Oh, did I say 'what' Lindsay did? I mean Who Lindsay did. Looks like this guy. The DailyMail reports:
Wild child actress Lindsay Lohan showed off her ample pulling skills when she kissed THREE men in one busy 24-hour spell while visiting Capri for a film festival last weekend.
Only actor Dario Faiella, the son of Italian music legend Peppino Di Capri, headed back to her hotel. But Li-Lo was clearly smitten with her choice, as she showed an undressed Faiella her appreciation with a loving hand on his derriére out on her room balcony.
Damn, I guess if you're going to try and have sex with an entire continent you don't worry about getting a room. Any couch will do.
Rumors of Lindsay Lohan possibly being a lesbian or bi-sexual are nothing new. But PageSix has seen fit the stir that pot once again with reports of Lindsay hanging with Courtenay Semel.
"Lindsay came with Courtenay to the party around midnight and they stayed for an hour," said our spywitness. "The girls held hands and were with each other the whole time." The tipster added, "Every time I see Lindsay, there's Courtenay. They are always together."
The party Lindsay and Courtenay were seen at just happened to be at the home of "power lesbia" Jeanette Longoria (no idea). Maybe the atmosphere was just rubbing off. I know Lindsay hangs with lesbian DJ Samantha Ronson a lot, but I'm calling this one simply rumor for now. If Lindsay ever really does come out she'll do it up right - you know with a sex tape.
Lindsay made a braless trip to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf this afternoon. That's it. End of story. It's great to see take a relax and take a break from dressing up in silly outfits and hanging out with superheroes. It's also be great if I had x-ray vision and Jennifer Love Hewitt were really a size 2. But you know, some stuff stuff just isn't possible.
Lindsay Lohan is back to working filming a TV commercial on the streets of L.A. Looks like it's got some kind of sixties superhero theme judging from Lindsay various outfits and, you know, the guys dressed as Batman, Robin, the Hulk and Spiderman. Looks like a busy day of work for Lindsay, but it's nothing she can't handle. Four wardrobe changes and going through four different men all in the same day. Piece of cake. She's been training for this for years.
If there's one thing that Lindsay Lohan is good at it's partying, and drinking and flashing her crotch. Ok, that's three things. But she's also good at shopping. So good in fact MSNBC says the might be getting paid to do it. Reportedly strapped for cash, Lohan may have scored not only good buys on her Black Friday shopping spree, but greenbacks as well.
Lohan was photographed shopping at an Armani Exchange and Intermix store in Manhattan on Nov. 23, and a source close to the rehabbed starlet says the trip wasn't just pre-arranged to give the paparazzi a heads up, she was paid for the visit, too.
Here's a few picture of Lindsay shopping yesterday at American Apparel. Just check out those skills.
Lindsay Lohan was spotted today wearing these sunglasses. While my sweatpants and t-shirt might not make me the pillar of fashion, I can spot retarded when I see it. It's ridiculous already. It must be stopped. And that reflective silver whateverthehell she's wearing. It's like some global warming combat suit. But hey, you still have to give points for no bra.
Lindsay Lohan was spotted looking like her old self again - wearing see through black shirts without a bra. Good to see she's healed, our dried out, or whatever it is she did in Utah. And God knows we've grown wearing of posting pictures of the village idiot. (It won't stop us, we're just feeling a bit weary.)
Lindsay's reps tell US Magazine that she is canceling her scheduled New Year's Even hosting gig at Pure nightclub in Vegas. Keep in mind this is Lindsay Lohan we're talking about. And we talking about a party to take place on New Year's Eve - the night of all nights to drink yourself into utter oblivion and cry away the pains of another year gone by, sad and lonely, and, ah, what was I saying? Ah, yeah, Lindsay likes to party.
I'm sure there are some people who really misunderstand the fascination with celebrities. Like why everybody cares about Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. Why men and women alike flock to read the latest gossip and clamor to see the latest pictures. People wonder why we all missed Lindsay so much while she was in rehab, holding all those candle light vigils praying for her sober return. Let me enlighten you people. They're called boobs. And Lindsay has great big ones - two of them. And they're looking particularly big giving this red polo a run for it's money. THAT's why. Oh and on the days they're not hidden in a polo she just let's them fly free. Now you get it?
Lindsay Lohan may be sober, but her widely reported rehab hook up with snowboarder Riley Van Giles is causing her plenty of issues now. What's the problem you say? Isn't he just another guy through the bedroom turnstyle? Well, sure, but it seems Riley was engaged at the time he hooked up with little LiLo. And now Riley Giles' fiance, Breanna Tierney, is telling her story to the Enquirer.
"Riley went into rehab to get his life together and in the process meets Lindsay and ruins my life," she told The Enquirer.
"I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up."
Breanna's claiming that Lindsay was the reason for the break up. It should be clear by now that Lindsay has some form of radioactive vagine. It's like a gravitational force field pulling people in. It cannot be escaped. But, it's a good thing, because let's face it, with Lindsay Lohan clean and sober there's a whole lot less to write about in the world. If she didn't have boyfriend issue's we'd be forced to make up stories about clubbing seals and feeding orphans to hunger bears - and radioactive vagina's, that kind of stuff.
Updated Pictures: I'm sure from looking at the banner picture you might have thought that rehab affected Lindsay's ability wear ill-fitting clothes with no bra. No worries people, she still has boobs.
Lindsay Lohan's back in LA and hitting the town. It's like all is right again in the world. What did we do with Lindsay gossip to report. I guess we can all leave Britney along to crawl back in her trailer and drink her Starbucks and pile down the Taco Bell. Here's new shots of Lindsay doing her thing heading out for a night of sobriety.
Lindsay Lohan is getting back to work. She reportedly returned to LA to start filming Dare to Love Me, which was put on hold for her stint in rehab. It's a good things she's back to work too, NOTW reports that Lindsay's broke. The tabloid claims Lindsay's spent millions including $1 million on a single hotel bill in addition to cars, cocaine and high dollar houses. All said she's supposed to have blown through $7 million. Sounds fair enough, and there's got to be at least a good 10K in bikinis from last summer alone. At least she's saved big on bras and underwear.
Lock up the liquor cabinets, Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. No just kidding - about the liquor. She really is out. Her father Michael picked up her late Friday, People.com reports. Her mom Dina said,
"I'm proud of her. She's moving ahead with her life. Things were getting out of control. She took action. She took responsibility. She really needed to heal."
I really am glad she's out of rehab, seriously. Let's face it rehab news is boring. I think what Lindsay needs now is to hit a nice warm beach and throw on some bikinis so we'll have something worth newsworthy to talk about again.
Rumors are buzzing that Lindsay Lohan is due to leave Cirque Lodge rehab facility soon. She's been there for nearly two months now so you've got to figure she's cured - of something anyway. But Lindsay's mom Dina has told Access Hollywood (via email) that Lindsay not leaving yet. Perhaps there's still a few more sober souls left to corrupt at Cirque?
It's a shame to because Lindsay just missed the 1000 bikini beach party in Australia, and you know Lindsay loves a good bikini. And next time, it's at my place.
Thought we needed a dose of Lindsay seeing how news is sparse while she dries out. Here's a clip of Lindsay's sex scene from I Know Who Killed Me. While she does get topless there really isn't any nudity to speak of. The clip is nsfw only in from the audio standpoint. You know a movie really sucks when you can tell it's bad from watching a sex scene from it. If you can screw that up, forget the whole thing (he nice pun). And while you might think Lindsay Lohan having sex on film could save a flick. Forget it. For a little comparison of one bad film to another, check out Jessica Alba's sex scene in the Sleeping Dictionary. Another movie no one saw.
Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 24 hours in prison in a plea deal.
Through her attorney, the actress pleaded guilty to two counts of being under the influence of cocaine and pleaded no contest to driving with a blood alcohol level of .08 percent or higher and reckless driving.
Can't we just throw her in a cage with Michael Vick and pack of pit bulls? Two DUI convictions and she gets 24 hours in jail? I guess I could understand if she was busy curing cancer and saving orphans, and then in her spare time liked to tie one on and drive around drunk. But I guess it's important Lindsay's free to work that important Herbie Fully Loaded sequel.
Lindsay Lohan is being sued by the woman who was the passenger in the car Lindsay was allegedly chasing. Tracie Rice is suing for assault and negligence. Rice told the press:
Someone could easily have been killed or seriously hurt because of her irresponsible decisions that evening - AP
Irresonponsible - Lindsay Lohan. Nah. Anyway, I'm pretty sure there has got to be some law on the books about celebrities getting at least a free pass or two on this kind of stuff right?
Lindsay Lohan has reportedly checked into the Cirque Lodge drug and alcohol treatment center in Utah. Perhaps the third time will be the charm. Apparently the Cirque won awards as a top facility, and we all know Lindsay's blown through two already. But if there was ever the right chick to turn Utah into a party state - Lindsay is it.
With Lindsay Lohan's film career in the dumps she can at least pride that she's inspired new porn. Lindsay HoHand: Get Out of My F**king Way will be released in October. It comes SexZ Pictures, the same people that brought you quality films such as Britney Rears and J-Ho. HoHand will star Paulina James as 'Lindsay'. Why bother with fake porn. I'd guess that with Lindsay's luck a real sex tape is bound to surface eventually. Like that one on the second shelf of my closet, blue shoe box, with the X on it. Wait, ah, did I say that out loud?
This is one of several TMZ interview videos with dudes who were witnesses and passengers with Lindsay the night she was arrested. They describe seeing Lindsay Lohan's assistant quit, that Lindsay took their keys and started driving, claim Lindsay Lohan ran over their foot, drove 100 miles an hour and ran red lights in the chase of her assistant. These three guys could be crazier than Lindsay, but the trip they describe makes the O.J. chase sound like a ride on It's a Small World. If a judge were to believe the story these guys tell Lindsay's sentencing would probably consist of a broken parachute and one-way ticket to Afghanistan.
TMZ.com is reporting that Lindsay Lohan may have been chased during the time of her DUI incident. It was earlier reported that Lindsay was the one doing the chasing - going after her assistant who had just quit. Sounds like a convenient twist. This whole thing couldn't be more of a circus if Lindsay was wearing a clown costume when she was pulled over. She could have blamed the bad driving on the big shoes.
Lindsay has also checked bad into rehab. But it's Promises no more. If you ever saw the pictures of Lindsay while in rehab you might not be suprised this all happened. From what I saw it looked like all she did all day was ride around on a giant tricycle at the beach.
Lindsay Lohan was arrested last night on suspicion of DUI. AGAIN! TMZ reports she was arrested in Santa Monica after police received a call of a vehicle being chased. Turns out Lindsay was doing the chasing. Police report that Lindsay was chasing her assistant who had quit just hours earlier. Cocaine was also reportedly found on Lindsay Lohan.
Man, this girl is something. I mean, the dedication. Less than two weeks our of rehab she falls off the wagon and gets a DUI. Impressive. I think the only way you're going to stop her now is to re-wire her ankle bracelet to electrocute her into unconsciousness. Of course seeing as Lindsay might get to do some jail time like Paris Hilton she'll probably be able to ditch the anklet. Hell, who was checking it anyway.
Lindsay Lohan was spotted throwing back cokes this weekend as she partied with friends. I had half expected that ankle monitoring bracelet to explode before the end of her first week out of rehab was over, but it looks like she just might stick with it. There's one thing you'll never stop Lindsay from doing - and that's wearing bikinis. And let's face it she might have been good at getting drunk, but she's great at wearing bikinis.
Lindsay Lohan has run around looking like a giant mess for ages now and it looks like Hollywood is finally starting to take note. The NYPost reports that Lindsay Lohan's next scheduled film "Poor Things" has been canceled. An email to product vendors from a set designer informed them their product placements where no more. And basically it sounds likes no one will insure her:
The insurers were said to worry that Lohan, despite wearing an alcohol-monitoring device around her ankle and claiming to take daily drug tests, had gone out clubbing with pals.
I think they're worried that to get her to show up they're going to have to shackle her to the set like King Kong in a cage. Shooting around that ankle gizmo is one thing, but no amount of stage props is going to hide 100 feet of chain and a giant cork in her mouth.
If we'd have written this post a few months ago it would have probably featured Lindsay Lohan drunk off her ass in Vegas - the way you're supposed to celebrate your 21st birthday. Instead it's Lindsay Lohan at Courtney Cox's house celebrating her birthday by taking pictures of people taking pictures of her. I'm kind of surprised her head is smoking between trying to figure the logic on that one.
Damn, nothing like screwing up your 21st birthday with rehab. US Magazine reports that Lindsay Lohan has cancelled her 21st birthday party. The debauchery was to take place on July 2 at PURE nightclub in Vegas. Considering that most of these celebrity parties actually involve some form of contract for the appearance you can bet this is only delaying the inevitable. Like the sun rising in the east or me conquering evil with my bare hands.
Lindsay Lohan crashed her Mercedes into a tree this weekend and was arrested for DUI. The crash happened Saturday night. Yesterday it was announced that Lindsay Lohan would be returning to rehab at Promises in Malibu. And proving that there are lawn gnomes with cameras watching you pretty much everywhere in the world here's video of Lindsay's crash and subsequent Paparazzi frenzy. AP reports:
Officers at the scene found a "usable amount" of a drug tentatively identified as cocaine, McCann said. He declined to say where the drug was found other than to say Lohan was not carrying it.
The whole thing would have been far more amusing had Lindsay actually crashed her Mercedes right into the Promises. That would have been true dedication - and more efficient. Source | idontlikeyouinthatway.com
Lindsay Lohan was reportedly kicked out of the SoHo Grand Hotel after being a big pain in the ass.
Calum Best checked into Manhattan's trendy Soho Grand with a pretty young woman who was not Lohan, and the actress shortly checked in with another guy - some believe to make Best jealous. Lohan tried to telephone Calum, but didn't get in touch with him, so she went out partying until 1:30 a.m., reports Star, then returned to the hotel and collapsed in the lobby.
"She was writhing on the floor and everyone could see that she wasn’t wearing any panties," an insider told the tab.
Lohan was reportedly escorted back to her room, but after various other escapades, at 5:30 a.m. she was asked to leave the hotel - and checked out at 6:30 a.m.
Considering that the tabloid Star is the source it's a crap shoot whether any of this is true. But considering it involves Linday Lohan without panties and what sounds like copious amounts of alcohol and general idiocy it has all the earmarks of a nightout for Lindsay Lohan.
Lindsay Lohan apparently has a new boyfriend - Calum Best. The two were seen in the Bahamas getting it on with some suntan lotion:
On Saturday, the couple spent several hours in a private cabana on Cove Beach. As the temperatures soared, Best rubbed sunblock on Lohan's shoulders before they headed into the water for swimming, splashing and still more kissing.
The best part is that when you go swimming at the beach with the likes of Lindsay Lohan it usually mean her bikini is going to fall off and her nipple slips out. Which of course is what happened. Remember too that were talking about Lindsay here, so the term dating and boyfriend really mean different things than most people are used to. I tried out the Lindsay Lohan dating rules once. I ended up dating the cashier at McDonald's after I had to wait an extra minute for my fries, had sex with a Gap girl at the mall after she 'brushed' by my sleeve near the dressing room. Odd sare good Lindsay's finished dating Calum by the time you're finished looking at this bikini picture.
Lindsay Lohan showed up at the David Letterman Show last night wearing a dress that looked liked striped asphalt. She then made this face which I can assume is the way you look right before you catch a handful of your own vomit. Ironically it's the same way I look after watching an hour of Letterman.
Lindsay Lohan appeared at the Costume Institute Gala looking like this. I supposed a dress like this does quality as a costume. It looks like a horny cougar shreded the front of her dress and left Lindsay Lohan's boobs nearly falling out. Yeah, that's good fashion. Unfortunately it's not really see through. Must be some sort of looks-like-skin miracle modesty fabric. And speaking of modesty let's not forget that Jessica Simpson brought her girls the same event.
A video tape of Lindsay Lohan doing cocaine (allegedly) has surfaced on the net. The video was released by a friend of Lohan's who says she is out of control. The list of places, clubs, bathrooms and floors Lindsay Lohan snorted cocaine off of is long. So is the list of dudes she supposedly banged. The friend also says Lindsay Lohan has had sex with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco.
If it's really Lindsay Lohan doing blow on this video it's going to be hard to refute all the stories her 'friend' has told. I mean, this girl went for broke. I occasionaly make up a story or too, but mine are boring compared to Lindsay Lohan doing coke off a toilet seat. Here's a quote:
"I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone.
"Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out.
"One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat.
I'm not saying that's crazy drug use or anything, but the only thing worse might have been to do a line off of James Blunt's penis. That's not falling off the wagon, it's running over the wagon with a semi, a semi full of blow.
US Weekly held the Hot Hollywood Awards to celebrate Hollywood's hottest style makers. As you might have guessed Britney's Grandma shawl and wig didn't make the cut. Instead it was a first class red carpet cleavage-fest with all of Hollywood's hottest. Ryan Seacrest even threw on a pimp suit for the ladies. Camera loving Lindsay Lohan showed up looking like she hired Charo to be her stylist. And of course the pantiless trendsetter wonk eyed Paris, gave us the blink.
Lindsay Lohan appears on the cover of GQ wearing a bikini. Nice, OK. But I dare you to comprehend the article. Yeah, I haven't read it yet, but I'll poke it with a stick anyway. Let's start with the fact that the interview with Lohan took place on a Blackberry. Who the hell conducts a real interview on a Blackberry? But considering most of Lindsay's answers consisted of small one syllable words it just might work. Boys, sex, crotch and drunk are all easy enough to type.
Seeing celebrity crotch might sound exciting, but let's remember, it's Lindsay Lohan's crotch were talking about. It's kind of like saying, "Hey, the sky's out today". Furthermore this crotch slip looks like it was taken with a 1950's KGB shoe-camera. But I guess it's not technically a crotch slip when you're purposely holding up one side of your dress. Might I add Lindsay's looking sharp these days. Click the picture for a barely NSFW crotch.
When I say Lindsay Lohan "forgets" to button her shirt I really mean Linsday Lohan doesn't bother to button her shirt or wear a bra so the whole world can see her boobs. Yeah, I thought at first she might have forgotten a button or two on accident. After all I frequently forget to zip up my fly, but that's because I'm so busy saving the universe. But then I seen the full length picture of her walking through SNOW! And then I remember it's Lindsay Lohan. And then it all makes sense. Not Lindsay, just me saving the universe.
If I were Lindsay Lohan I probably would have just finished the job off and flattened the photographer. It's pretty bogus really. Kind of looks like the dude just fell on the hood of the car. I've done worse to old ladies in the parking like of Kmart. Kind of sad when you're an actor and bump into someone with your car and they do a better job acting than you ever could.
I love how crap like coloring your hair becomes news. Breaking News: Lindsay Lohan colored her hair blonde. Is it a cry for help? What is Lindsay trying to hide from? Will she be eaten by fire ants? I'm actually really hoping for the fire ants thing and I hear they like blondes. I still don't have enough blood left in my head after starring at Gisele's ass to figure why I'm writing this, but it seemed like a good idea when I started.
Lindsay Lohan reportedly texted messages to Brody Jenner while in rehab at Wonderland. Apparently Lindsay texted that she wanted "McDonald's and sex". It begs the question, sex in McDonalds, or McDonals after sex? I really had no idea you were allowed to text message while in rehab. It's starting to sound kind of fun, you apparently can come and go as you please and you get to text. Just like high school all over again.
I guess I'm a little fuzzy on how this Lindsay Lohan rehab thing works. I wasn't aware there was a giant revolving door you just kept walking in and out of. And hasn't she only been in there like a week? Perhaps those rehab doctors should take up curing cancer because it sure seems they work fast. I love this quote saying it's 'thrilling' she's out. I think the only ones thrilled are the rest of the people at the Wonderland clinic. Lohan is now out to resume working on a movie.
"People were getting a bit antsy about what the status was, so it's pretty thrilling," says the source. "As soon as Lindsay was cleared, they started everything back up again."
I had kind of throught we'd already been through the Lindsay Lohan rehab thing? No. Oh, those were just some AA meetings, not official rehab. OK. Well now Lindsay Lohan really is in rehab. Finally. Though I'd argue this is like reporting that the sun is taken a break from shining. It's called nightime. The suns still hot and it's over in like 12 hours.
Lindsay Lohan is scheduled to have surgery to remove her appendix.
"She does have appendicitis, and she is getting her appendix removed," her rep, Leslie Sloane, tells PEOPLE.
Lohan, 20, was reportedly diagnosed with appendicitis after feeling ill on Wednesday.
I'm not sure what kind of scar Lindsay Lohan will get from having her appendix taken out. I'm pretty sure these days they just punch a hole in you and suck it out with a straw-like sucker gizmo. If she's worried about the removal leaving a scar and affecting the bikinis she perpetually seems to be wearing (even in winter) she should man up and having her appendix taken out like I did. Orally. Let me tell ya, no fun.
There are tough jobs in life. Comparing Jessica Alba's ass to Lindsay Lohan's is not one of them. I invite you to compare for yourself Lohan's ass in a bikini verses Jessica Alba's amazing ass. I know it's work, but give it a try, it's time well spent. I think you'll agree both asses are looking pretty good, but winner in our book is Jessica Alba.
The NYPost has a great quote from Lindsay Lohan. It's from an email sent to friends where she tries to write about pole dancing lessons. Apparently some form of preparation for a movie role.
"They're all whores, they're all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!" Lohan wrote in the note, "So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark.
I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the [c-word]s now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."
Perhaps pole dancing is the thing for Lindsay Lohan, because clearly she should give up on mastering the English language. And if you're going to take up a new profession you might not want to refer to your coworkers as whores, well, unless of course they are.
PageSix reported yesterday that Lindsay Lohan is in AA. And sure enough gossip has turned to reality. ABC News is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Lohan's mother, Dina, also confirmed the AA story in an interview with Ryan Seacrest. It's really not nice to make fun of Lindsay Lohan for being in AA, especially when there's so many other things to make fun of, like being called fire crotch and the inability to form simple sentences, or spell.
It's clear that Britney Spears is spending way too much time with the likes of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. You can tell just by looking at that picture of Britney's naked crotch. They're the three crotch slipping muskateers. I doubt they could find one pair of underwear between the three of them, and would likely have even more trouble counting it them they did. Britney nearly slipped the full cooch recently as well, but that picture didn't show nearly as much crack as this one.
Not that this will really work, but people are sure trying: HelpSaveBritney.com
I'm sure the world wishes this picture of Lindsay Lohan kissing Donna Karen meant that Lindsay was a lesbian. That'd be par for the course right now for Lohan. The blogs are a buzz with yet another Lindsay Lohan vagina slip, (somebody buy her some panties, wait, nevermind). It's not enough she's already slipped the cooch twice. And then there's all the photos of Lindsay's 'cut' wrists. I think I'd buy her being a lesbian before I thought she was actually slashing her wrists. She was just on Leno anyway with a bandage on the wrist and a story about breaking it. So there's the answer to tha. Now I'm not a doctor but I've never seen gauze used to fix a broken bone, but hey. At least her breasts are looking stellar.
It seems almost incomprehensible (giant cry for attention), but Lindsay Lohan has slipped a croth again. Will somebody please buy this chick some damn underwear. Last week was full of news about Lindsay Lohan's shaved crotch making it's appearance while getting off a boat. First there was the kitty slip shots, then speculation they were fake, then confirmation the pussy shot was real. Now again! I couldn't bring myself to post the unblurred picture. We've all seen enough of Lindsay Lohan's crotch for a life time.
Finally some celebrity bikini pictures to post aside from the perpetually bikini-clad Lindsay Lohan. This time it's asses up for Eva Longoria sunning herself in a white bikini. I thought you weren't supposed to wear white after labor day. I guess bikini's don't count?
I'm really not surprised by anything anymore. Christina Aguilera wearing a costume that looks like a dominatrix circus ring leader seems pretty much par for the course these days. At least Christina's got more fashion sense than to go around in a potato sack letting her tits hang out.
When will the bikini's stop? Will Lindsay Lohan be able to continue the daily parade of bikinis through the Fall and Winter? Enquiring minds need to know. Lindsay Lohan's latest bikini is a black number, displayed at Harry Morton house, where Lindsay was hanging out. WTF is up with the avaitors I don't know. Yeah, I know looking like Tom Cruise in Top Gun is fashionable again, but she looks ridiculous. If you really want to look like Tom Cruise just say a bunch of stupid shit and get fired.
Harry Morton is trying to conquer the world one pink taco at a time. Aside from dating Lindsay "let em fly" Lohan, Morton is also making a bid to rename the Arizona Cardinal's new football stadium "Pink Taco Stadium". The Morton family has reportedly put up a $30 million bid for naming rights to the new Glendale stadium. Morton believe's the Pink Taco name would help 'elevate the team's profile with a younger demographic'. Shockingly the Arizona Cardinals aren't interested in naming their new stadium after a vagina.
If you really want to appeal to a new demographic perhaps the restaurant should partner with the Cardinal's concessions and serve some Pink Taco. And I don't mean food. Serving real vagina at a football game is a sure way to bring in a lot of new fans.
It would appear Lindsay Lohan has moved on from the solid boring bikinis and stepped up to animal prints. Check out this side boob picture of Lindsay in animal print bikini. The animal print is actually a good look for Lindsay, now all she needs to do is pick a print with some smaller spots that would blend in with her freckles and she would look like she's walking around naked.
I've pretty much come to the happy conclusion that Lindsay Lohan does not own a bra. Here's a picture of Lohan wearing a see through blue dress braless. She seems to either wear one of her thousand bikinis, or just let's her tits hang out. But who am I to judge. Actually, I'd be a damn fine judge, the more boob the better. Let em fly Lindsay.
I'm not sure the name for this style of celebrity fashion, but I like it. When you're not going to bother wearing a bra, then it makes perfect sense to wear a dress what has a giant slit down the side of it. And in this case it means we get a nice side boob picture of Lindsay Lohan's breast. And this isn't the first time Lindsay has flashed us the side breast view. If you recall the nearly imfamous GM fashion show full breast slip - it's a classic.
Lindsay Lohan wants to go to Iraq to visit the troops. People magazine reports that Lohan, inspired by Marilyn Monroe, would like to visit the troops in Iraq. Apparently she's even trying to visit with Hilary Clinton, but as Lindsay told Elle magazine (and I'll quote this, cause it's f-ing great) "Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous". LOL, ah yeah. But don't worry troops, Lindsay's going to make it. Let me quote again:
Lohan is confident she can handle an Iraq trip on her own. "I'm not afraid of going," she says. "My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons."
Ah. That's great. I'm so inspired by Lindsay Lohan's awesome logic that I've decided to take up sewing so I can start hanging out with heart surgeons. Source.
In an altruistic effort to fight the racial injustices of Mel Gibson we're posting photos of Lindsay Lohan in a blue bikini. Makes sense to me. A hot chick covered in freckles that parties too much showing some nips in a small blue bikini is pretty much what the world needs right now. We're but a few more hot naked celebrities, three more bikinis, and five more nude beaches away from neverending peace in the middle east. With all of the bikinis Lindsay Lohan has been wearing lately I'd say we can all hail her as the messiah of peace.
I'm not quite sure why Lindsay Lohan chose to pose for this photo in a bikini at Jeremy Piven's birthday party. But I'm not complaining either. Anytime you can get A-list celebs to put on bikinis for your birthday you're doing well. Especially considering the party was black tie. Ok maybe that wasn't the case, I guess Lindsay Lohan could be wearing a bikini because there was a pool or something, but I really don't like logic, so I'm sticking will the black tie thing cause it makes this photo all the more interesting.
Lindsay Lohan has been spotted with a well publicized 'mystery man'. Turns out Lohan's mystery man is Harry Morton, the owner of The Pink Taco, a new Scottsdale, AZ restuarant that has made waves with it's funky name. I'll save the pretty much endless array of Pink Taco jokes for another time - and just consider you've got the Pink Taco owner laying on top of someone who has recently been called Fire Crotch - really the jokes are endless.
It seems that more people keep tabs on Linsday Lohan's breast size than I previously estimated. This photo of Lindsay's bust at the beach is causing speculation as to how she got her boobs to look that big, considering the previous weight loss. They do look a bit round and softballish (a la implants), but it could just be the lighting, or maybe that I'm just squinting too hard trying to visualize her without the bikini.
So we're gearing up for a topless and debaucherous holiday weekend, so before full inebriation kicks in we thought we'd throw up a link list to the best celebrity nipple slips. Call it a celebration of the independence of the nipple. A slip list would not be complete without Paris Hilton falling out at her video shoot. Recently crowned MILF Gwen Stefani gave a peek at the MTV Awards. Keira Knightley Esquire side view slip is a good one as well. And perhaps the queen of the nipples, Bia Ling and her giant pair. Without a doubt one of the most popular celeb slips came courtesy Lindsay Lohan at the GM Fashion Awards, a fantastic side view full boob shot.
We're not totally sure of the official nip rules, but for sake of celebration we're going to throw in few nipple moments that are really more than a slip, more like celebrities just letting their boobs hang right out. Pamela David watching soccer for starters. Jodie Marsh's giant boobs have reached the point of no return. And what the hell, let's throw in some Maria Sharapova Cameltoe, just for good measure. And for those viewers who still haven't got their fill of celebrity nakedness we'd recommend finishing yourself over at MrSkin.com.
Pregnant Anna Nicole Smith's bump has been spotted. My question, who the hell of the father? Brandon Davis has joined team fire crotch. We reported the Jennifer Love Hewitt Playboy gossip earlier in the week, much to our dismay. But you can rejoice in seeing Vida Guerra and her boobs in the upcoming Playboy issue, despite the fact many flag her as a marginal Buttaface.
IDLYITW brought us Madonna has apparently befriending wayward Lindsay Lohan, perhaps prepping her up for a Kaballah conversion? I guess after loosing Britney Spears the Kaballah needs a new celebrity on board. If I'm running a first rate celebrity packed religion the last thing I need would be Britney on my side. If you're going to promote a religion, such as Scientology, then you really need this guy helping you.
This chick gets a boner from Anderson Cooper, don't ask me how that works. The renowned creator of the Lindsay Lohan fire crotch, Brandon Davis, may have entered rehab. Probably a good idea if you seen the fire crotch video.
Dlisted has a nice recount of the Britney Spears dateline interview with Matt Lauer. Some fantastic mind altering quotes from the blabbering idiot. If you want the press to leave you alone Britney then act like a god damn adult and start doing a few simple things like properly strapping your baby in your car as opposed to using your tits as airbags while the kid rides shot gun in your lap. DListed has a nice run down of some quotes.
I'm just quoting! Brandon Davis went on a full rant trashing Lindsay Lohan saying among other things she's got a fire crotch, smells like diarrhea, has a seven foot long clitoris and has freckles coming out of her vagina. Classic. Really the best thing about it isn't Davis' berating, it's Paris Hilton laughing like a maniac following him everywhere. She's so totally nuts. Who the hell knows what spawned the rant but it was damn funny. Not to mention this still image makes it look like Paris Hilton's tit is falling out of her dress. Which pretty much makes any video better. Which pretty much happens everytime Paris is in front of a video camera. Here's the Fire Crotch video clip.
LIfe & Style Weekly is reporting on backstage drama at Lindsay Lohan's SNL appearance last week. Apparently Tina Fey confronted Lohan on her erratic behavior and how she was wasting her acting talents, or some such schtick. I'm continually baffled over the popularity of Lindsay Lohan. Was Herbie Fully Loaded that great of a movie - aside from being a fantastic name for a porn film. In this photo of Lindsay in a bikini she looks like she's about 12. I don't get it.
Boy what it must be like to be a kid today. Tits and ass on MTV and ass slips at awards shows. Lindsay Lohan's ass slipped out the back of her dress during the Nickolodean Kids Choice Awards. I've really never thought much about the illusive ass slip. Nipple slips are so common today. And it's easy to imagine a breast falling out of something. But it doesn't really sound good to think an ass fell out of your clothes. Kind of implies your ass is too big, though that's far from the case for Lindsay Lohan's butt. And why isn't Lindsay wearing any underwear. Commando at a kids award show? Nice.
Boy, Lindsay Lohan's front page blog material everywhere today. Show a little tit and see what happens! This Lindsay Lohan nipple slip photo apparently was taken during some sort of GM fashion show. I commend the American car makers for their advertising tactics. Fashion, boobs, nipples, those things all sale poorly designed cars. With the side boob shot and nipple that Lindsay Lohan's black dress provided I doubt anyone cared about how pimped out their ride was. As with most things, click the Lohan photo and stuff get's bigger - the picture too. Also check out why Lindsay Lohan Can't Swallow.
Lindsay Lohan is dominating the celebrity gossip pages these days. First she gets naked for vanity fair photos, then trashes the article for misrepresenting her bulimia and drug use. And then there's Kate Moss - the cocaine poster child. Now the wonder twin powers have united for a lascivious pole dancing extravaganza.
Kate Moss and Linsay Lohan got crazy at Score's strip club in NY on Monday night. The duo reportedly appeared at the club like a couple of out of control lesbians, hit the famous Champagne Room, did shots, drank it up and partook in more than a few lap dances. But the best part of the Lohan Moss lesbian fest is that Lindsay Lohan reportedly jumped on stage and worked over a pole herself. No doubt more than a few of the 400 patrons worked on their own poles. The only thing more entertaining would have been if Kate Moss did lines off the stage underneath Lindsay Lohan's ass. Check the entire story at NY Posts Page Six. Now we hope and pray that someone, somewhere snapped some nice photos of Lindsay Lohan's pole dance. Now we're talkin.
File this one under super new unsubstantiated celebrity gossip. Femalefirst.co.uk reports that while Lindsay Lohan was in the hospital for asthma she was visited by Leonardo DiCaprio. So somehow that gets to be rumors that the too are dating. There's probably more to the Lohan Dicaprio connection but I was instantly bored and moved on to better things. The stupidest rumor was that Lindsay Lohan was pregnant because someone brought her a pregnancy test - in a hospital - yeah that makes sense. I think it's all buzz to make sure her issue of Vanity Fair doesn't end up lining bird cages in a crack addicts apartment.
Late breaking Lindsay Lohan gossip to go along with the naked Vanity Fair photos and Bulemia talk. VH1's Best Ever Week blog is reporting that among the items brought to Lindsay Lohan's hospital room was a pregnancy test. It's celebrity pregnancy mania these days. First reports of Angelina Jolie being pregnant, now this. Unless Lindsay Lohan is planning on operating a free clinic out of her hospital room I'd say the pregnancy test is as good as a bright neon flashing sign.
For all the Lindsay Lohan followers I have news equal to finding the Holy Grail. Lindsay Lohan will be naked. Better than that. Lindsay will be nude in photos! Lohan is taking it all off for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, due to hit newstands on January 10. We first posted on the Lohan Vanity Fair connection back in September. E Online quotes Lindsay on the nude Vanity Fair shoot,
We just kind of went for it and decided to push the envelope.
Guys will now be going for it themselves and pushing something other than envelope. I saw some of the photos on E last night. I wouldn't actually grease the monkey yet.
Another Lindsay Lohan story I'll pass along for our faithful readers. Lindsay Lohan was admitted to a hospital in Miami after suffering a severe asthma attack, says publicist Leslie Sloan. I read something yesterday about busted a blood vessel in her neck, but can't find that story today. We love to make fun of everyone, but asthma sucks so we'll give her a break today. Hope she's better. And get ready to see her naked.
Call this one a curiosity post. The New York Daily News has a gossip story on Jackass Johnny Knoxville and Lindsay Lohan. Whether Johnny Knoxville is dating Lindsay Lohan remains to be seen but the pair were seen together at Chateau Marmont in L.A. Really sounds like a nothing story. I don't really care whether Knoxville or Lindsay Lohan is dating anyone, but it gets my imagination running. Gossip I would care to hear about would be if Johnny Knoxville stapled his nuts to Lindsay Lohan's ass and then road around on top of Herbie the love bug. That might make me really think Lindasy Lohan and Knoxville were actually dating. This story, not so much.
I can't figure out the fascination with Lindsay Lohan's hair color, let alone Lindsay Lohan herself. All the gossip sites have photos of LIndsay Lohan's with new brown hair color. Who cares whether Lindsay Lohan's hair is brown or red or the color of a rotting eggplant. What the F-? I think the bigger discussion is why the hell does Lohan look like she's 35? Perhaps a make-up artist or mortician could comment, please? Why does she look so old when she's not. I don't know if the brown hair helps or hurts Lohan, or the fluctuating weight. She's just not that hot so stop talking about her damnit.
I'm busy and don't have time today for my usually meaningless rants. So here's a quick dose of gossip and totally superficial celebrity news. Linday Lohan's yearbook pictures can be seen on Yeeah.com. I still maintain she looks 15 years older than she is and can't figure why. And fittingly Lohan's high school photo looks like she's 25. Kate Moss is out rehab. Moss finished her stint in Tucson, AZ. Watch out of for the peyote on the way back to LA! Hollywood Tuna is making fun of Hilary Duff's non-existent boobs, or mosquito bites. I guess her giant horse teeth help balance things out.
Catching up today with the latest celebrity gossip brought to you by a plethora of unreliable sources found around the naked internet. First we have Jude Law and Sienna Miller breaking up. Finally. Get it over with folks. We've already seen that Jude Law has a small penis, but still managed to stick it to the nanny and then embarrassingly apologize for cheating on Sienna in public.
And we've got the super skinning scarecrow Nicole Richie who recently threw an engagement party filled with people like the talented and classic Lionel Richie, the horendous sell out no talent Mark McGrath, the stunning Nicky Hilton and the woman who's proved she can't drive worth a damn, Lindsay Lohan. You'll find photos of Nicole Richie's engagement party around and about the web. I couldn't bring myself to care enough to find any.
Let's not leave out the nearly constantly naked Paris Hilton. Her latest is that she has stolen the boyfriend of Mary-Kate Olsen. Yet another Greek dude named Stavros Niarchos. He's got more money than God and could probably buy and sell Paris Latsis like a big mac. I think it's rumors at this point but it makes for good ratings. Eat it up.
Supposedly inspired by the Paris Hilton Vanity Fair cover where Paris appears half naked, Lindsay Lohan wants to do the same. FemaleFirst.co.uk is reporting the Lohan is going to bare all in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, and that getting naked was Lindsay's idea. Even after reading this story I'd wait and see if Lohan really appears naked on Vanity Fair.
A while back there was a big buzz about Britney Spears being naked on a Vanity Fair Cover - a la Demi Moore, but that story turned out to be a bust. Part of the story also seems to be that Lindsay wants to show off her current weight after being the subject of numerous weight loss stories. I personally still can't figure out why she looks like she's almost twice her age. The freckles maybe?
Yes, I know this Lohan photo is old, but here are additional more or less related photos of Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid out shopping. Tara Reid is braless, sober and can seem to barely contain her hooters in her top, which is really the only thing that makes the photos vaguely interesting.
Lindsay Lohan threw a fat tissy fit at the premiere of here new movie Herbie: Fully Loaded Premiere. Oh my god are you kidding me. Lohan stormed out of the theater after not hearing her song - First - during a particular sequence during the movie. Instead wise editors had moved it to the closing credits, where they'd be sure no one would hear it - figuring nobody could possibly sit through the movie. And I'll just take this opportunity to say - because I haven't bothered before - that Lindsay Lohan doesn't look 18 to me. Anyone else agree. Lohan looks old - well older anyway. Oh well. Stupid point. Just thought the stupid antics should be Crunched.
Lindsay Lohan can't drive. We'll fast enough I guess. She wasn't able to out maneuver the Paparazzi and bent some fenders in a recent car crash. Lindsay walked away unharmed, but her Mercedes-Benz didn't far as well. The scum-bag paparazzi photographer Galo Ramirez was arrested and booked on suspicion of assault.
Apparently a photo is good enough these days. The bastard paparazzi have to literally crash into you. What what shitty life to lead. Both for the stars and the low life photogs. What kind of low life spends there days like voyeurs peeping through fences and chasing people down the street - all to catch some embarrassing or nude photo of a start like Lohan, all in the name of making money. Rats I tell you.
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For all the Lindsay Lohan followers I have news equal to finding the Holy Grail. Lindsay Lohan will be naked. Better than that. Lindsay will be nude in photos! Lohan is taking it all off for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, due to hit newstands on January 10. We first posted on the 
I can't figure out the fascination with Lindsay Lohan's hair color, let alone Lindsay Lohan herself. All the gossip sites have photos of LIndsay Lohan's with new brown hair color. Who cares whether Lindsay Lohan's hair is brown or red or the color of a rotting eggplant. What the F-? I think the bigger discussion is why the hell does Lohan look like she's 35? Perhaps a make-up artist or mortician could comment, please? Why does she look so old when she's not. I don't know if the brown hair helps or hurts Lohan, or the fluctuating weight. She's just not that hot so stop talking about her damnit.
