Justin Timberlake and Madonna's new song 'Candy Shop' has been leaked on the net, obviously ahead of release. Timberlake and Madonna have been spotted recently recording in London. The track, which is to be part of Madonna's new album ended up posted on Putfile.com but was later removed. Britney Spears should leak her new track too - expect I guess no one would want to download a like a sack of screaming cats.

Photo: Photorazzi.com | Source

Madonna, Lourdes and baby David paid a visit to the Home of Hope orphanage in Malawi. Madonna's reps have denied reports that she's visiting Malawi to adopt another child. Apparently life's rough if you're in the Malawi paparazzi.

Malawi police and stone-throwing school students blocked journalists from covering pop star Madonna's visit to an orphanage on Tuesday where the boy she is adopting was due to meet his biological father.

So what do you think? Madonna and Jolie have a little side bet on who can adopt kids the fastest? Few more picts of the growing Madonna family. And just how many Ed Hardy t-shirts does Madonna own already?

Photo: Wenn.com | Source.

I know Madonna's getting a bit long in the tooth for the younger crowd, but she cleans up pretty well these days considering she's pushing 95. This see through action and these white dress pokies are pretty good proof she either looks good for her age or has stolen the anti-gravity machine out of my basement and fashioned into one off her crazy bras.

Pregnant Anna Nicole Smith's bump has been spotted. My question, who the hell of the father? Brandon Davis has joined team fire crotch. We reported the Jennifer Love Hewitt Playboy gossip earlier in the week, much to our dismay. But you can rejoice in seeing Vida Guerra and her boobs in the upcoming Playboy issue, despite the fact many flag her as a marginal Buttaface.

IDLYITW brought us Madonna has apparently befriending wayward Lindsay Lohan, perhaps prepping her up for a Kaballah conversion? I guess after loosing Britney Spears the Kaballah needs a new celebrity on board. If I'm running a first rate celebrity packed religion the last thing I need would be Britney on my side. If you're going to promote a religion, such as Scientology, then you really need this guy helping you.

This chick gets a boner from Anderson Cooper, don't ask me how that works. The renowned creator of the Lindsay Lohan fire crotch, Brandon Davis, may have entered rehab. Probably a good idea if you seen the fire crotch video.

Dlisted has a nice recount of the Britney Spears dateline interview with Matt Lauer. Some fantastic mind altering quotes from the blabbering idiot. If you want the press to leave you alone Britney then act like a god damn adult and start doing a few simple things like properly strapping your baby in your car as opposed to using your tits as airbags while the kid rides shot gun in your lap. DListed has a nice run down of some quotes.

Kate Moss escaped coke charges. Spiderman has a baby. Jessica Biel and a bag of crap. Beyonce gets Punk'd by PETA. Save Screech from Save by the Bell? Hell no. Peace.

Holy crap, mother of god. I know just about every gossip site around has posted photos of Christina Aguilera naked in GQ, but dammit that is some fine action. My damn subscription to GQ ran out a while back but photos like this make it worth subscribing again. With Britney popin out kids the long standing duo clearly has a winner - Christina's naked tits! I know they're implants but they look pretty good here. Christina is becoming the new Madonna and we can only hope next up is a sex book.

It was only a matter of time, we all knew it was coming. Madonna lays a horse. Ok, not really, but this photo from Madonna's W magazine article might lead you to believe she's expanded into the animal kingdom. But after all of the bad 70's garb Madonna's been wearing lately it might take sex with a horse with restore her image.

I'm riveted by this photo. Hot Madonna cleavage, yet super scary arms. Nice Madonna tits, yet stringy muscular limbs, classic Madonna boobs, yet petrifying appendages. What to do.

Really not much to say. It's Madonna braless in a see through shirt. She's old, but she can still fly your flag once in a while. Madonna's nips never go out of style, that is until they're on the floor.

Dennis Rodman's new autobiography I Should Be Dead By Now details many of his bedroom exploits, aside from outlining why he should long be dead. Among the sexual escapades outlined in Rodman's new book are his romance with Madonna and her reported quest to have his father a child. And of course Carmen Electra who used to use the "N" word while he was banging her. It's all about class. I've yet to actually read Rodman's new book so I can't yet relay all the woman he banged or who he might have knocked out with his penis, or why the hell he liked to dress as a woman. I'll let you know.

The MTV Europe Music Awards just took place and on this side of the Atlantic all anyone can talk about is Madonna. MTV's Europe Music Awards were hosted this year by Ali-G, who's alter ego Borat called Madonna a Transvestite, which is great. Fact is Madonna's new 80's haircut sucks. And she really need to put on some damn pants. It's getting to be like staring at a fit grandma. No matter how fit, it's just creepy. Hit the gossip sites and you'll find tons more photos of Madonna at the MTV Europe Music Awards, but I'd caution you on thinking you're going to find anything remotely stimulating.

File under Madonna at MTV Europe Awards.

MSNBC.com's gossip page has a great article on Sharon Osboune mouthing off about other celebrities. You've got to love Sharon Osbourne for jumping off her broom and stirring the Crunch pot. She thinks Madonna is full of shit, and Melanie Griffith has destroyed herself - to which we couldn't agree more - Melanie Griffith is damn frightening looking. I will never understand the attraction to fish lips. If you're really in for scary plastic surgery take a look at Steve Erhardt.

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Defamer says Lindsay Lohan goes to the bathroom with men

Egotastic reports on Jennifer Alba and porn

File under Madonna, Sharon Osbourne Hates Madonna.

Madonna doesn't let her kids watch TV or eat ice cream. Of course both of which we know are directly linked to insane psychotic behavior in adults. Just last night I polished off two gallons of Ben & Jerry's while watching TIVO'd My Fair Brady. And I feel just fine. After shaving the dog and burning all my Madonna albums I feel really super.

File under Madonna.

This is the week where celebrities and designers alike gush over obscure and inaccessible fashion throughout New York. Which also means tons of celebrities in the same place, all trying to impress whomever. What this means to the average bear is Olympus Fashion Week photos to help make us feel worthless and badly dressed. In honor of fashion week I've dawned my traditional opossum thong and am feeling comfy as hell. Gwen Stefani debuted her L.A.M.B clothing line (that's Love Angel Music Baby). Gwen is set to take over the world and knock Madonna off her megastar power pop woman horse. Also of note is Sean by Sean Combs, including a coyote-trimmed leather jacket. (Again I've got the one up with the opossum thong).

Thoroughly under-represented at this year's fashion week is our favorite apparel shop Design You Can Wear. It's clear to me that the Hip Hop is Dead T-Shirt should have been included in Diddy' collection. Dead rabbit, dead coyote, same difference. The always hideous Donatella Versace was present as children ran in fear in every direction. The dead coyote from Sean Combs jacket looked better.

File under Fashion Week.

It's our celebrity scandal recap. Just a few of the popular searches for recent celebrity scandals to lighten your day and make you feel fresh, and, well, just plain better about yourself. You can always feel good that you've got a better temper than Russel Crowe, and don't have to fork out six figures to settle a dispute for throwing a telephone at someone's head. And be thankful you're not addicted to drugs and in rehab, that's were Eminem recently went. You can be absolutely ecstatic that you do NOT look like Carrot Top or Steve Erhardt.

Most people would be happy to have Jessica Simpson's boobs but then you'd have to deal with everyone thinking they are fake. If you're going to go the fake route, we'd suggest you go all the way and get boobs like Pamela Anderson's, they'll always cause a scandal. But whatever you do don't get teeth like Hilary Duff's, cause you'll end up looking like a horse. And of course avoid becoming too skinny, like Nicole Richie. Our showing your crotch like Beyonce. or swimsuit cameltoe like Eva Longoria at the recent MTV VMAs. Poor Eva.

File under Celebrity Scandals.

Madonna fell off her horse on her birthday. And this has nothing to do with bedroom actvities. Madonna was riding in the English countryside and was thrown from a horse she had never ridden before. Guy Ritchie took her to a local hospital. She is said to have cracked three ribs, broke her collarbone and her hand in the fall. Apparently practicing the Kaballah or being stinking rich doesn't protect you from falling on your ass and looking like a clutz. Actually both of those items probably enhance that look. Hopefully Madonna will be back on the horse in time for her latest album Confessions on a Dance Floor which is due out in November. Madonna should have just hired someone to ride the horse for her.

You really have to love those celebrity fad religions. Reports are that Britney Spears will have a Kabbalah blessing ceremony for her new baby or babies nine days after their birth - in September. So how long before the induction into the church of Scientology? And what's the next fad religion going to be? I say we resurrect some crazy ancient shit where we all run around with dead goats on our back. That would definitely be trend setting. Any takers? Britney, Madonna? Don't get me wrong. Religion is great. Really. Everyone needs spirituality in their life. But if I have to hear one more fucking thing about Madonna and Kabbalah I think I may have to give up the public life and become a Monk.