Beauty pageants always produce funny video clips. If the girls aren't falling down on stage, they're opening their mouths to try and speak. The Miss Teen USA 2007 contestant from South Carolina was asked the question "Why can't one-fifth of American's locate the U.S. on a world map?" Her head then nearly implodes trying to answer it. And miraculously helping 'the Iraq' and South Africa will make 'U.S. Americans' smart. Brilliant I say.

Amy Polumbo - Miss New Jersey - has finally revealed the photos she was being blackmailed over. She showed the 'racey' pictures on the Today show and attempted to defend the images. The pictures were pretty much what you expect from a 22 year-old college student. Party shots with friend at bars. One picture of Amy and her boyfriend showed him bitting her boob through her shirt. Another picture showed her with her legs spread in the air - pants on of course.

Seriously who doesn't get their tits bitten occasionally on a night out at the bar. And showing your croth? Hell, that's how I order drinks. And what kind of retard tries to blackmail someone with photos that where on their Facebook page. And if Amy Palumbo had these photos on Facebook why the hell wouldn't she just fess up right away. It's not like no one had ever seen them before. Way to make a mountain out of a molehill, or a breast, in this case. If you want to keep your nude photos private Miss New Jersey might I suggest your MySpace account, that's where I keep mine.

Source: People.com

Miss Japan of 2007, 20 year-old Riyo Mori was crowned Miss Universe. The U.S. contestant Miss Tennessee Rachel Smith placed fifth and somehow managed to fall down while walking across the stage during the difficult evening gown competition. I know pageant contestants get a lot of flack for not being intelligent, but I'm pretty sure standing upright and walking in a straight line without falling down should be a prerequisite. I'm not sure what skills winner Riyo Mori had, but it sounds like just drinking water from a glass without spilling down your chin would beat out the competition when they're falling over onto the floor.

Update: Click here for with video of Miss USA falling down.

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Tara Conners gave up the rusty tierra and crowned Miss Tennessee Rachel Smith as the new Miss USA. Conners offered Rachel this advice:

Be yourself and put your own flavor on the title. (People.com)

Is that flavor like a fine Cabernet, or Jack Daniels? And now as with any pageant or talent contest winner we await the news of Rachel Smith's naked past. Born from aliens, raised in grain silo by a pack of nude gypsies, fill in the blanks here, and crowned Miss USA 2007. It's bound to happen, well, maybe not the gypsy part.

Preliminary somthingerrathers are underway to crown the new Miss USA 2007. Party girl Tara Conner presides over the festivities as Miss Kentucky Michelle Stephanie Banzer shows us her bikini skills. I pretty much couldn't care less about Miss USA, but after all the scandals that plagued the competition it promises to be amusing. It seems they've finally brought these pageants into the 21st century. But I'm still holding out for the best nude bar photo and best contestant sex tape categories.

I thought I had something smart, and witty to write about Tara Conner until I was mesmorized by her make up. More like confused. It's really awesome that she could take time our her busy schedule performing Cats to do some charity work. But unless you're interested in scaring young kids you might want to remove the stage makeup for hitting the streets.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

The dethroned Miss USA Nevada Katie Rees has more photos hitting the streets. This time Katie will appear in Racket magazine, a publication from the people who put out 944. There's not too many parts of Katie's body left to see after the drunken breast sucking, crotch licking photos that got her crown revoked. (If you live under a rock here's a run down on what went on in the first set of Katie Rees' nude photos.) You can however check out a video on TMZ of the photoshoot. And while sexy it doesn't come close to having the drunken allure of the original pictures that really made Katie a star.

The full set of Katie Rees party pictures have finally made their way out. And after you see Katie Rees partying it will be quite clear why she was stripped of her title as Miss Nevada USA. The photos are so NSFW so we thought we'd describe them to you (in detail) before teasing you with a link. Oh, and we're assigning our own pageant points based on what crazy stuff Katie is doing in the photos - and let me tell you, she's doing a lot more than just going topless. Here we go:

Katie Rees having her crotch licked through her panties by a girl - 10 points
Katie kissing a girl - 5 points
Katie Rees licking the crotch of a girl through her pants - 15 points
Katie showing her boobs - 15 points
Showing her thong underwear - 5 points
Some girl sticking her tongue in Katie's ass crack - 20 points
Sticking her tongue in some girl's mouth - 10 points
Katie getting her tit licked by some dude - 15 points
Katie Rees sucking a girl's nipple - 50 points

My eye's are so crossed I have no idea what that actually adds up to, but suffice to say Katie Rees is a big winner! Have a look.

Nude photos of Katie Rees - Miss Nevada USA - have caused her to lose her title. The photos of Katie Ress are of her flashing her breasts, pulling down her pants to show her ass and thong underwear and kissing women - all of which sound to me like logical prerequisites for winning anything in life. She's Miss Nevada afterall, isn't that what you do in Nevada? It's not like she snorted cocaine of the bottom of a transvestites shoe in front of the Bellagio. It's time we made nude photos of pageant contestants part of the basic judging criteria. Katie Rees just might have won herself the title of Miss Universe!

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Fox News reports that Miss USA Tara Connoer has tested positive for cocaine and is likely to be stripped of her crown. If dethroned runner-up Tamiko Nash will become the new Miss USA. I don't really follow these pageants but I'm making notes now for when I run. Let's see, as a national spokesperson with a title containing USA you're not allowed to snort cocaine, drink underage, or, what was that other thing, oh yeah, pose in Playboy. So essentially becoming Miss USA means you have no life. Got it. Scratch that.
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Miss Universe 2006 was crowned this weekend. Miss Puerto Rico, Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza won the 2006 honors. And while some would say pageants such as this demean women, as they swagger across the stage in bikinis, I say nay! Any type of event that contains a mandatory element involving bikinis and high heels combined is good thing. As a matter of fact I'm all for creating a new Olympic event that has the same requirements. Plus where else can you meet someone with a name like Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza.