Madonna, John Mellencamp and The Dave Clark Five were inducted into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame yesterday. If you're wondering if Madonna is staring to show her age, consider that of the three people in the banner photo it's Iggy Pop's nipple you're looking at and not Madonna's. Timberlake's speech included a not so subtle dig at what you can only assume is Britney Spears. The world has always been full of Madonna wannabes and I might have even dated a couple. Yeah, sure, kick her while she's down. Now somebody find Iggy Pop a shirt already.

There are those things in life everyone is frightened of. Fear of heights, getting shots, clowns. And then there's real fear. I had previously pegged this guy as the scariest looking human, but after getting a good look at Amanda Lepose and her lips I'm going to have to do some serious re-adjusting to my scary scale.

 

John Travolta talks fame and scientology in a recent interview. I could paint a picture with my big fat humble brush, or I just relay this quote:

I have fame on the level of a Marilyn Monroe or an Elvis, but part of the reason I didn't go the way they did was because of my beliefs.

Elvis Presley, eh? Yeah.

Source

If you watch TV Land you'd probably guess that a TV Land Awards show would generally consist of a rather old bunch of celebrities. And you're right, very right. The only way you'll find red carpet cleavage that appears above the waistline where it belongs would be to find an older celeb who's hooked up with someone hot and young. Enter Adrianne Curry and her new boobs. Well semi-new, but I don't think we've ever posted Adrianne's implants, so they're new to us. Nice rack. Lucky Peter. We threw Charo in just for no other reason than she looks completely nuts.

Courtney Love is denying widespread rumors and gossip that she had Gastric-Band surgery in order to lose weight. If I looked like that in a bikini I'd worry more about rumors I was abducted by aliens who's plan was to turn me into a gooey pile of flesh. But I'll hand it to Courtney though, because nothing draws attention away from those 'trouble spots' like a giant parrot on your shoulder.

Source | Photo: flynetonline

Radio show fossil extraordinaire Don Imus has been suspended for 2 weeks after referring to members of the Rutger women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos". Considering Don Imus is one small step away from becoming an actual pile of dust they should have just had Keith Richards rough him up a little and then snort what was left of him.

My photo illustration skills usually consist of drawing moustaches and nipples on attractive models. And occasionally I'll go for the devil horns. This photo is so random and has nothing to do with anything, but made me laugh. It's not fake either, just damn funny.

 

As hard I could try I don't think I could make up a story as good as this. I've spent almost 5 whole minutes now trying to concoct a story about Lindsay Lohan, a bag of fire ants and a room full of strippers and still, this story is crazier. Keith Richards snorted his dad. Really. No, really. Here's the quote:

He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow.

The only believable explanation for someone snorting their fathers ashes with a pile of cocaine would this picture - worth a thousand words, all of which are 'crazy'.

Update: Keith Richards reps say he did NOT snort his fathers ashes. Apparently it was a joke. As twisted and sick as it was the funniest thing is that everyone really believed it could have happened.
Source.

Celebrities frequently promote products or good causes. Usually their expertise is valuable. Angelina Jolie can easily promote starving orphans, Al Gore helps fight global warming and Sarah Jessica Parker - she sells tap water. I'll admit I have not idea what in the hell Esquire's Tap Project is all about, but I'm the everyman, and to me Sarah Jessica Parker is selling a glass of tap water. I'm not doubting her promotional skills, but I'm sure I could build a scarecrow that could sell a glass of water - filled with sea monkeys and rust. And oddly enough the scarecrow would look a lot like Sarah Jessica Parker.

I don't know what in the world is happening to Jenna Jameson. A few weeks ago she was photographed looking like a microwaved catchers mit, then a few days later she looked good again. Now she looks like she's done 36 days on pornstar Survivor. What gives?

Ahh. Hmm. Where do I start? Sorry? These photos of Keith Richards and Patti Smith are from the 22nd Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. For all you kids that really really want to be rock stars here's your inspiration. One day you'll look this and make it into the Hall of Fame. I don't even think they'd let these two into a natural history museum - as exhibits.

As a public service (apology) I've also included some pictures of Jessica Alba with some side boob action, because I'm sure at this point you're about one step from removing your own eyeballs with a dirty spoon.

You know that if I hadn't put Courtney Love's name in the title of this post you would have had no idea who this was. The picture is from The Rodeo Drive Walk of Style Awards where Gianni and Donatella Versace received some award - probably for making such good material for SNL parodies. Courtney Love simply defies any rational explanation. My only guess is that she's sold herself to science and was guinea pig for the new Versace partial face transplant.

Considering that Richard Branson wants to shoot people into space you think he'd have better moves with the ladies then dragging them around in a horse and buggy. Something tells me that Dita Von Teese is used to a bit more action considering she was married to Marilyn Manson. Of course that umbrella might be packin some James Bond moves and magically turn into a strippers pole. In which case, Richard is the man.

I guess I haven't been following science closely enough these days. I had kind of thought the anti-aging thing was big now, but I guess not. It seems they've invented a machine that turns you into a hideous 90 year women overnight. There is no other rational explanation for Mary Kate Olsen looking like this. The pygmy I keep locked in my basement has more skin color than Mary Kate Olsen and he hasn't seen the light of day in almost seven years.