It's anyone's guess as to whether or not the Academy Awards will actually be held this year. John Stewart says he won't cross the picket lines which would leave the show without a host. And if the host is John Stewart than that's pretty much the best part of the show. So for what it's worth here's a run down of the big ticket Oscar nominations this year. (And a video clip of a Winona Ryder performance that was obviously overlooked in this years voting). And I defy you to tell me you actually saw In the Valley of Elah. What?

Performance by an actor in a leading role
George Clooney in "Michael Clayton"
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah"
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises"

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War"
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild"
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton"

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"
Julie Christie in "Away from Her"
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose"
Laura Linney in "The Savages"
Ellen Page in "Juno"

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There"
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster"
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement"
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone"
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton"

The 79th Annual Academy Awards Snooze Fest took place last night. How this show could be made any more boring year after year and yet we're not able to fix Global Warming on a Saturday afternoon I'll never understand. Though I'm not a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres she amusing and passable for an Academy Award show host.

We've long submitted that the only watchable part of the Oscars is the parade of celebrity cleavage down the red carpet, the philosophic ramblings of Ryan Seacrest and the adolescent dream that celebrity boobs will come flying out of over-priced designer dresses at any given minute. The process of making movies is a great art and movie makers deserve their just awards, but don't hype this stuff up and then make it unwatchable for anyone without a DVR.

The Celebrity Crunch Red Carpet Award (we just made that up, cool huh) goes to Jessica Biel. She was the true headlight of the red carpet, ah, I mean highight, and looks so fit that we were just begging her to take Kirsten Dunst and twist her up like a ballon animal with her bare hands.

Former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar for best supporting Actress. I guess this provides inspiration for other American Idol hopefuls who are voted off early. You can still star in feature films, make records and win awards. Even if Idol contentant Antonella Barba is disqualified for nude photos of her all over the internet she can take solace in the fact that next year she could win big at the AVN awards.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

I was busy as hell yesterday and couldn't be bothered with regurgitating this years Oscar nominees, so I guess I'll do it today. I've sadly have seen few of these films, but still am well qualified to offer my expert opinion of course. Nominating 10-year-old Abigail Breslin for best supporting actress seems a bit ridiculous. Little Miss Sunshine was a good flick, I'm sure Meryl Streep has unwashed underwear older than her.

Here's the list of the 2007 Academy Award nominees:

Best Picture
Babel
The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima (likely winner)
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen (stuff with Queens always gets nominated)

Best Actress
Penelope Cruz - Volver (hot naked chicks should always win - anything)
Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal (no one saw this - no one)
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Meryl streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet - Little children

Best Actor
Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond
Ryan Goslin - Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole - Venus (he's still alive?)
Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland (sure winner)

Best Supporting Actress
Adrian Barraza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scaldal
Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine (she's 10-years-old hello)
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi - Babel (clear winner for best name )

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children
Djimon Hounsou - Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls (for an Oscar? what what)
Mark Wahlberb - The Departed

I'm a simple man and don't pretend to know much about Kate Bosworth, but I do know that she can dress well, as evidenced by this Oscars party see through dress. Fashion at it's finest boys.

Now this is what I'm talking about. Gina Gershon's see through dress would have made the red carpet better. I think this is a photo from an after hours party. My guess is she didn't wear this down the red carpet for the Oscars, but should have.

Trying to recover from my Oscar induced stupor. Hit this great post Oscar party at this place called The Basement. Lots of wine and hot chicks. Angelina even floated by around 2 am. That's when things got interesting. Interesting meaning The Basement is literally the basement in the house, and Angelina not being a fat pregnant Angelina Jolie, but the nickname for the blow up doll I fill with helium. Yeah, it was rockin. See this is the kind of story line the Oscars need to be watchable. I like John Stewart and all, but the Academy Awards just seem so, I don't know, old Hollywood. I don't know that people dig that stuff anymore. At the very least the Ocasrs need more red carpet nipple slips and see through dresses, ala the MTV Music Awards.