YEAH! The NY Daily News reports that a Northern California clinic that dispenses medical marijuana has a special strain of weed they've dubbed 'Tom Cruise Purple'. Gossip is that Cruise's big dogs are looking into the use of his name. Rush and Molly:

One of Cruise's friends found it "outrageous" that licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically.

Staffers at several California clinics we called said they were forbidden to discuss any of the herbal varieties in their "inventory."
But one weed devotee said, "I heard it's the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate."

Isn't this a compliment? Sure Oscars and Emmy's are nice. Nobel Peace prize, sure, great. (God, he better never get one). But it's praise from the everyday man you really want. Take it as a compliment. And let's face it. You've got to be stoned out your mind to even start to believe half the stuff Tom Cruise says anyway.

 

This clip of Tom Cruise's Scientologist birthday bash is everywhere thanks to Gawker. This was reportedly taken on the cruise ship Freewind and features Tom Cruise hysterically eating up the attention. The Scientology sponsored birthday party comes complete with a band playing the top gun theme against a giant ass screen with clips from the movie. You know back when you thought Tom Cruise was not crazy. The music continues, as Tom Cruise looks he's about to have a seizure laughing and congratulating himself. That's before he starts dancing and singing. Yes, dancing. Singing. Oh and the splits. Tom does the splits. The only thing missing from the end of the clip is where L. Ron Hubbard does the birthday flyby in the mother ship.

The Daily News has a story on how Tom Cruise will be one of the first to take delivery of the Ducati Desmosedici RR Superbike. The motorcycle cost $72,500 and can do 200 mph. The article also claims Tom Cruise's love of all things fast has cost him about $1 million dollars in fuel over the last couple years. With a personal carbon footprint the size of a small industrialized nation I hope Tom doesn't jump on the green bandwagon anytime soon. Of course Scientology pal Travolta is flying himself around in his own 707. Better watch out before little Hayden goes activist on their ass. As for me, I'm doing my part by wearing only organic dolphin-safe cotton.

Source

Update: The original video has been pulled down. All hail LRH!

Here's a great one. It's a lengthly interview with Tom Cruise, obviously cut from an even longer original. It was apparently shown at some Scientology awards ceremony. There really isn't a way to properly describe Tom Cruise's outlook on things. Saying he's full of himself and scientology doesn't even begin to cut it. I'll leave you to watch clip and decide for yourself, but let's just say it's a wild ride on the crazy train. Apparently Scientologist's are going to save mankind and only they can do it. Because they can, and we can't. And after you enjoy that you'll probably be interested in one of these t-shirts.

I'm pretty sure Britney's supplied us with more than enough crazy for the week, but here's one more. Author Andrew Morton has written a book claiming that Katie Holmes was impregnated with the sperm of L. Ron Hubbard and that Suri Cruise is not Tom's baby. The NY Daily News Reports

Andrew Morton's unauthorized book claims Cruise, 45, is second-highest leader in his controversial Church of Scientology, and speculates 20-month-old Suri Cruise may have secretly been fathered by late church founder L. Ron Hubbard.

London's Daily Mail published book excerpts in which Morton, without citing sources, says fanatical Scientology insiders wonder if third wife Katie Holmes "had been impregnated with Hubbard's frozen sperm.

Ah. Ok, sure, dead guys' sperm kept for 20 years to get Katie Holmes pregnant. I think Morton and Britney can get a two-for-one on a nice padded cell.

 

Tom Cruise and David Beckham are such lovey pals that Tom is going help cheer Becks up after he finished the Galaxy's season by wasting their millions for not a single goal.

We will go out and fly some airplanes or race some cars or something like that. - Cruise told BBC Radio

Damn isn't that nice. A normal kind of guy might have bought his friend some beers and took him to a strip club or two, you know, helped him forget about his robotic wife. Not Tom. He's going to fly a couple planes. That's alright. I was so distraught that the Cardinals lost on Sunday my buddy and I flipped to see whether we'd invade France or Italy. Sorry, Frenchie, you're it.

 

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are throwing a private party to welcome David and Victoria Beckham to America. The event will be held, not at a house, no no, too small - it's at the Museum of Contemporary Art in LA. What better way to acquaint them with America than to have the pillars of normality Tom and Katie welcome them into our cult, ah, I mean country. I guess now that they're friends of TomKats we'll have a reason to care about them for reasons other than Victoria's boobs.

Source

Katie Holmes was spotted with what looks like a baby bump over the weekend. Cruise and Holmes were seen after dining with the Beckham's, and from this picture it looks like Katie Holmes is pregnant again. Or could have just eaten an entire 25-pound turkey for dinner. I polished one off for Thanksgiving one year and looked a hell of a lot worse than this. If you really want to see what a baby bump looks like (and a giant set of boobs) check out pregnant Jordan.
Source

PageSix reports that Tom Cruise has achieved "clear" status, or somethingerather, in the Church of Scientology. Cruise may perform a wedding for billionaire friend and Church benefactor James Packer. The thought of Tom Cruise performing my marriage ceremony ranks right up there with helium filled blimps on the scale of good ideas. Here's a couple pictures of Tom and Katie hanging with the Beckhams in Spain.
NYPost

An amateur porn star and self-proclaimed virgin has named herself Katee Holmes and wants to lose her virginity on film. As you might guess the real Katie Holmes isn't that excited about the idea.

"It's a really cheap shot," a rep for the actress, who's married to Tom Cruise, told Page Six. But Shy Love, an adult film vet who manages the 5-foot-9, 122-pound Katee - a small-town girl from Illinois - insisted: "Katee is using the name as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed an innocence in everything she's done, beginning with 'Dawson's Creek.' "

The fake Katee Holmes explains her decision:

"I know it's pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it," the not-that-innocent Katee said. "How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?"

I think the only thing Katee Holmes is going to learn from being deflowered on film is how the legal system works and that she couldn't possibly make enough money from porn to match the legal bankroll of the Tom Cruise camp.

Source

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are reportedly buying a house in the UK. The place they call crazy is located in the English countryside in Sussex. It's about time we export some of the TomKat craziness to England. And in case your eye's are still crossed from staring at pictures of Britney Spears crotch, I'll tell you this picture is probably not Tom and Katie's real English mansion. I've always said once I'm filthy rich and my crazy meter hits 13 I'll live in a big shoe - and this is it.
Source.

When will the bikini's stop? Will Lindsay Lohan be able to continue the daily parade of bikinis through the Fall and Winter? Enquiring minds need to know. Lindsay Lohan's latest bikini is a black number, displayed at Harry Morton house, where Lindsay was hanging out. WTF is up with the avaitors I don't know. Yeah, I know looking like Tom Cruise in Top Gun is fashionable again, but she looks ridiculous. If you really want to look like Tom Cruise just say a bunch of stupid shit and get fired.

Tom Cruise Wears Heels
Now stop saying he\'s gay.

Ashlee Simpson's New Nose
Simpson\'s got a new nozzle.

Katie Holmes Slips
A nursing bra that is.

Salma Hayek Makes the Top 10
Bastardly's run down of the hottest chicks.

Britney Spears Looks Priceless
Not.

Tom Cruise is a Dancing Idiot
And proves he'll do anything to sell a movie.

Xtina is a Doll
One you can blow up.

Small Boobie Alert
Kate Hudson hits the beach.

A South Korean Sex Machine
Lonely men pack your backs.

Breasts of the Day
CoCo Lees gigantic boobs to make your Friday fun.

Helena Christensen gets naked at the beach

Tom Cruise needs a dictionary - Suri means PickPocket dumbass

Laila Rouass is a hot Indian - really

You can see right through Sophie Anderton

Despite an upcoming magazine cover story proclaiming that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have split, the fact is they have not. So says their people in an official release. Here's the official release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE STATEMENT REGARDING TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES AND LIFE & STYLE MAGAZINE Los Angeles, CA (February 14, 2006) - In reference to a forthcoming cover story in the tabloid magazine Life & Style about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, it should be known that the story is 100% false. Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes are still engaged and are moving forward with their wedding plans, as well as planning for the arrival of their child. Despite the malicious fallacies put forth by Life & Style magazine, the couple is looking forward to a long and happy life together as a family.

I wish Tom and Katie would break up. Just because really. He seems to be certifiable and Holmes seems to be brainwashed. Well time will only tell whether the Life & Style article is true or not.

MSNBC is reporting (in their celebity gossip section) that the Katie Holmes Tom Cruise wedding has been put on hold. Story goes that some family issues arouse during the holiday season as Cruise tried to lovie up to Katie Holmes' family. Let me tell you, my bet is on the Holmes Cruise wedding never happening. One day we'll see Katie running in utter terror as she realizes she's been brainwashed as was about to marry Maverick. Just listen for the screams of Serenity Now. You'll know it's all over.

File under Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes.

I'm behind on all this crap so I've got to do an all-inclusive super-post. Hold on. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a baby girl named Violet. Jennifer Ganer was induced and gave birth Wednesday? I think it was. My memory is as cloudy as the smokey fog around Ben's paid Starbuck's guzzling head. The bigger baby gossip I read is that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are reportedly having a boy. Apparently Tom peered into Katie's stomach with his Scientology trained ultrasound skills. I give this one a 50/50 chance on being correct - Tom's skills (of any kind) and the sex of Tom and Katie's baby.

Front page of todays paper has Vince Vaughn being pulled over in Scottsdale, AZ for a driving 'violation' and also almost drunk. Apparently not quite legally drunk but enough for the officer to warn Vaughn not to drive anymore. Big Deal. There are some pathetic photos of Jessica Simpson looking like someone either punched her chicken of the sea lips or she got herself some collagen. That or some fun gone wrong with a belt sander.

Tom Cruise has bought a ultrasound machine. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's what we've come to expect from the Tom Cruise and Katie Homes camp. It's true though. Various media has reported that Tom Cruise bought an ultrasound machine so that he could monitor Katie Holmes baby anytime he wanted. Ah, can you say obsessive. Cruise will reportedly donate the $200,000 ultrasound machine after he's finished with it. I also heard reports on NPR this morning that some big medical board is looking into his purchase and perhaps it is illegal for his to even use the machine. And they are advising that repeated ultrasounds could harm the baby. I love how celebs think they're all that and smarter than doctors and such. Katie Holmes should use the ultrasound machine on Tom's head because I'm sure the hampster's long dead and off the wheel.

File under Tom Cruise Ultrasound.

E! online is reporting that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to be parents. A spokesperson for Tom Cruise confirmed that Katie Holmes is pregnant. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have both accused in the mass media for concocting their romance as a publicity stunt to help sell their films. I guess there is nothing like going all the way with things. Congrats to Tom and Katie on the baby news.

File under Katie Holmes Pregnant

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Every gossip site around is buzzing with the story about Katie Holmes changing her name to Kate Cruise, so we'll jump right on that bandwagon. It is said that In Touch magazine reports that Katie Holmes has plans to change her name to Kate Cruise. Mind you it's not Katie Cruise, but Kate Cruise. The first name change comes because Tom likes to call her Kate and supposedly recommended that she use Kate professionally as well. Since Katie Holmes could practically be Tom Cruise's daughter perhaps it's fitting that he names her - changes her pants and feeds her breakfast too.


File under Katie Holmes, Kate Cruise, Tom Cruise.

This is one of those headlines I love. Front page news. Brad and Angelina went to a museum with Maddox to look at dinosaurs. Apparently to do research from one of their upcoming films. What's next - Tom Cruise goes out for a big gulp? I went to Starbuck's today. Why isn't that news. Oh. I'm not famous. Sucks for them I guess. And they say that Pitt and Jolie aren't dating. Whatever. When you start hitting museum with woman, that definitely means you're getting married. Everyone knows that. Especially when you can manage to get some action behind the T-Rex like I did.

File under Angelina Jolie.

Is it just me or do Scarlett Johanssons boobs seem to be everywhere? I keep finding articles about Scarlett's breasts - maybe it's because I keep looking? First it was some story about how she was shocked to seem them larger than life on a billboard and something about her boob were digitally enhanced. Then I read about Scarlett Johansson not wearing a bra on the set of the Island during a love scene with Ewan McGregor. I'm not complaining now. Celebrity boobs in the news are always a welcome distraction from, well, just about any other news. Really wouldn't you rather read a new story about Jessica Alba's boobs as opposed to some stupid shit about Tom Cruise and Brook Shields?

The August issue of W Magazine reportedly shows engaged Katie Holmes shopping for a wedding dress. Not just any wedding dress, but from the looks of it, it seems that it might need to be approved by the Scientologists.

To Quote: "During the W interview, the actress wouldn't part from Jessica Rodriguez, who is described as her "Scientologist chaperone." Rodriguez's role in Holmes' life remains vague, though Rodriguez says they're "just best friends" since meeting around the time Holmes met Cruise."

Ok. I don't know about you, but to me the whole Scientologist chaperone thing sounds a bit crazy. A little cult like in my opinion. What the hell does Katie Holmes need a Chaperone for? Now I admit the outrageous PDA and bride-to-be giddyness has me wondering about her real mental age, and right now it's lookin like she needs full time parental supervision.
The chaperone even reportedly is finishing sentences for Holmes when she's at a loss for words in decribing her adoring love of Tom Cruise.

Somebody tell me when the intervention is happening please. I'd like to witness it. And I'm sure every qualified, hard-studied psychiatrist on the planet would like to bitch-slap Tom Cruise right about now. They can come too.

Brooke Shields is fighting back. About time. Yahoo reports, "In an op-ed piece published Friday in The New York Times, Shields criticized what she called Cruise's "ridiculous rant." Thank you Brook. Tom Cruise looked like a senseless idiot during the Matt Lauer Today Show interview. The psychiatrist deserves to be put in his place, and who better than amazon Brooke Shields to pound the shrimp back down.

I want to see a celebrity death match. Tom Cruise vs. Brook Shields. They can babble to their death. Or perhaps it can be handled in a more celebrity like fashion - a lawsuit. Yeah. Or maybe Russell Crowe could step in and pummel both of the with phones. Actually just Cruise would be fine. Brooke's alright.

Where'd that damn home pregnancy test go? I'm guessing that's Brad's response after seeing his and Angelina Jolie's picture on every freakin supermarket gossip rag. Holy crap already. But I'm sure that crazy Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are enjoying the break, or are they? I guess we'll have to wait and see if there is a baby Jolie on the way. That'd make Brad and Angelina look like bigger liars than Tom and Katie. Wouldn't it now.

This one is great folks. As if the Tom Cruise Katie Holmes engagement madness isn't enough already, now we've got the Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer Today Show interview to entertain us. If you haven't seen the interview find it, now. I believe the Today Show is rerunning the Cruise interview, not sure when though.

After all of the Katie Holmes madness we had a pretty good idea that Tom Cruise had lost his mind. Although he did seem to be a pretty stand up guy after being squirted in the face on the red carpet for the War of Worlds premiere. But don't be deceived people, that was all a good act. The Matt Lauer interview cemented our case for Cruise insanity.

In discussing his recent clash with Brooke Shields, Tom jumped off the deep end as Matt Lauer talked as the voice of reason and Cruise spouted insanity. Tom is insistent that psychiatry is bunk and that people should not take any form of anti-depressants, or other mind-altering drugs to help their mental condition - under any conditions. Lauer tried politely to point out that he himself knew people who indeed had benefited from such drugs and ask Cruise whether that was acceptable. Tom claimed to be a psychiatry expert and belittled Lauer for his lack of knowledge and research. Cruise couldn't even begin to concede that some people may truly benefit form drug treatment.

Tom Cruise looked absolutely ridiculous and pretty much insane himself. I'm sure the Today show is re-airing the interview just to show the world what an ass Cruise is. That dude seriously needs help, and the scientology ain't cuttin it. So if any of you are in need of mental help don't call a doctor call Tom Cruise, L. Ron Hubbard's gift to psychiatry. What an ass.

The public cried out and a reported listened - hosing down Tom Cruise with a phone microphone full of water. The water squirting occurred during some form of press Q&A on the red carpet, at least I think - and not a minute too soon. Cruise and Katie Holmes have been way over the top with their Paris engagement. I guess the reporting thought they needed a little cooling off after all of the PDA.

Even though Holmes and Cruise seem to have lost their minds in love we'll hand it to Tom for handling it like a stand up guy. No fist fight or Russell Crowe style antics. Cool and collected. It was a stupid as thing to do, but I think that was the reporters point. A little levity for Tom and Katie. Back down to earth for the over the top couple.

The big buzz is that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are engaged. At the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris no less. Great, super, happy life, now go away. I think I might need to vomit. I recently read an opinion poll that said over 60% of people polled thought less of, or were annoyed by Tom Cruise now that he's all over the news with the lovely dovey Katie Holmes crap. We agree.

It seems both of them have lost their mind. The on stage antics and Jay Leno appearance by Tom Cruise have people seriously wondering. And Katie Holmes converting to Scientology. Holy Crap Batman - they've brain washed her. I guess it's just love (insert big sigh here - ahh). Ok good for them I guess. But keep it in the bedroom for god's sake. Enough PDA. If you want people to respect your privacy then be private dammit. Oprah and the MTV Movie Awards was enough already. At least on MTV we had Jessica Alba's boobs to distract us.

» Tom Cruise DVD Collection at Amazon

Jessica Alba's dress at this years MTV Movie awards is sure to have you looking - close long and hard, ah… at the dress. Her breasts may even upstage Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on stage antics. (Picture giddy celebrities in love. yeah great.) The MTV Movie Awards are on this Thursday and should not be missed. Keep your eye's peeled for Jessica Alba's boobs and nipples a plenty. Jimmy Fallon hosts the MTV awards and as funny as he is no one will care cause it's all about Jessica's boobs. Alba's see through dress is all people will be talking about. Did we mention Jessica Alba's boobs. See, told you.

Jessica Alba's boobs at MTV Movie Awards

More Jessica's picts

File Under: jessica alba