Celebrity Crunch

Jennifer Aniston Topless

The Crunch — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 05:25:00 +0000

I always buy the widescreen DVDs, but this might be one time when buying the full screen version is better. Thanks to anamorphic wide screen filming you'll get to see a bit of Jennifer Aniston's naked nips on the full screen version of The Breakup. Don't ask exaclty how this works, it just does, and it means you see ALL of Jennifer Aniston's boobs. It kind of more of a moving nip slip, but nips nonetheless. Aniston says her boobs are real and now you get the chance to judge for yourself.

How Did Anna Nicole Smith Die?

The Crunch — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 17:18:00 +0000

So now the million dollar question is what killed Anna Nicole Smith? Did she die of a drug overdose? Was Anna murdered? Heartbreak perhaps? How is Howard K Stern coping with her sudden death? Was her death from natural causes? A disease? And how exactly did her son Daniel die? Methadone, but how and why. (Hum. Pause here while I rub my chin a bit.). Anna Nicole Smith's death sadly has all the elements of a classic Hollywood whodunit murder screenplay. Now just wait out the requisite period of mourning and then start the Anna Nicole Smith mini-series machinery.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

Anna Nicole Smith Video, Paramedics

The Crunch — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 18:11:00 +0000

Video of Anna Nicole Smith being take out of the hotel by paramedics. There's no end to the Anna Nicole Smith news these days.

Prince Frederick von Anhalt Says He's Dannielynn's Father

The Crunch — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 15:39:00 +0000

If it seemed the celebrity gossip mills would ever run out of fuel, think again. Husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, Prince Frederick von Anhalt claims he is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's son Dannielynn. Von Anhalt claims say he had an affiar with Anna Nicole Smith for 10 years! So now you've got three guys claiming to be Dannielynn's dad - Howard K Stern, Larry Birkehad and von Anhalt. I half expect Michael Jackson to step up and claim paternity.

Even better, Prince Frederick von Anhalt claims Anna Nicole asked him to make her a princess like his wife Zsa Zsa. (Comedy). Anhalt say he considered adobting Anna Nicole but Zsa Zsa refused to sign the adoption papers. Seriously, I'm not making this gossip up. It's crazy.

So the question now is who gets custody of Dannielynn and who get's Anna's estate? It's a legal puzzle with tons of factors. Like was Howard K Stern legally married to Anna? What was the official country of residence when Dannilynn was born? And who really is the legal father. If Prince frederick von Anhalt is the father then that would make Dannielynn heir to something? Perhaps crazy town. And let's start with figuring out how did Anna Nicole Smith die?

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Richard Branson is Old Fashioned

The Crunch — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 05:54:00 +0000

Considering that Richard Branson wants to shoot people into space you think he'd have better moves with the ladies then dragging them around in a horse and buggy. Something tells me that Dita Von Teese is used to a bit more action considering she was married to Marilyn Manson. Of course that umbrella might be packin some James Bond moves and magically turn into a strippers pole. In which case, Richard is the man.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

Anna Nicole Smith Gets Sued for Being a Wreck

The Crunch — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 16:28:00 +0000

Three women have brought a lawsuit against Anna Nicole Smith and TrimSpa Inc. claiming they used deceptive business practices to sell their product.

In their suit, the three women claim that they were injured as a result of the defendants' dirty dealings. They did not detail the nature of the alleged injuries, however, so it's unclear whether the plaintiffs didn't lose weight or suffered other physical consequences.

I think we've all suffered physical consequences from just hearing about Anna Nicole Smith. I'm going to do some checking, but I'm pretty sure we can pin this Global warming thing and the extinction of the Dodo on Anna as well.

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Anna Nicole Smith is Dead

The Crunch — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 20:58:00 +0000

CNN reports.

Reality TV star and former model Anna Nicole Smith was pronounced dead Thursday after being taken to a Florida hospital after being found unconscious in her hotel room, a law enforcement source with knowledge of the case told CNN.

Typically I'd make a joke about yet another publicity stunt. But clearly this would be the end all be all. So probably not appropriate. Hard to believe.

Dick in a Box Live at Madison Square Garden

The Crunch — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 17:33:00 +0000

I'm not really a big Justin Timberlake fan, but I've got to hand it to the guy for not taking himself too seriously. At his concert last night in Madison Square Garden he, and surprise guest Andy Samberg, performed the live version of their infamous SNL Digital short Dick in a Box. Check out the video at CollegeHumor.com. Thanks to Steph for the tip.

Tara Conner is Back

The Crunch — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 16:26:00 +0000

I thought I had something smart, and witty to write about Tara Conner until I was mesmorized by her make up. More like confused. It's really awesome that she could take time our her busy schedule performing Cats to do some charity work. But unless you're interested in scaring young kids you might want to remove the stage makeup for hitting the streets.

Photo: Photorazzi.com

Mischa Barton and the Nude Photo of Cisco Alder

The Crunch — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 22:09:00 +0000

A naked photo of Cisco Alder, boyfriend of Mischa Barton appeared last week as part of the booty found in Paris Hilton's storage unit. Cisco Alder says Mischa "wasn't too excited" by the photo, but was otherwise OK. I was excited enough to scrape off my own retina's with a spoon. You don't want to see Cisco Alder naked. Really. And if you read this account of Mischa's reaction to the photo it sounds like she was definitely NOT thrilled.

Source. Photo: Photorazzi.com

Kim Kardashian Sex Tape with Ray J is Out

The Crunch — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 16:14:00 +0000

We posted last month on the pending Kim Kardashian sex tape. Well the video is out. PageSix reports that Vivid Video has bought the tape of Ray J and Kim Kardashian for $1 mil. The three year old video, titled Kim Kardashian Superstar is going to be distributed on its own web site - kimsuperstar.com. A clip from the DVD is already out on MetaCafe, you can view the nsfw trailer here. Now who says Paris Hilton is a bad influence.

Christina Aguilera Gets Naked on Sundays

The Crunch — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 04:32:00 +0000

Christina Aguilera appeared on the Ellen Degeneres and said that she and Jordan Bratman spend sundays naked.

"We have something called naked Sundays. You have to keep marriage alive, spice it up. We do everything naked. We cook naked."

Hearing that Christina Aguilera runs around her house naked all day on Sundays makes my head want to explode. The only thing that keeps me from having to scrap it up with a trowel are the words "Ellen Degeneres". If I were Jordan Bratman you'd find me chopping down trees and buying a printing press to make sure every calendar Christina Aguilera ever saw had only Sundays on it.

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Jessica Simpson Has Awesome Hair

The Crunch — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 22:33:00 +0000

Jessica Simpson's new hair color is awesome, well, if you like Orangutans. I believe they call that shade of brown Orange.

Prince to Ruin Superbowl Half-Time Show - WTF

The Crunch — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 16:41:00 +0000

One for the WTF file. Prince will be the entertainment at this year's Superbowl half-time show. Yep, perfect sense. Aging, small freakish unpopular rock star performs in front of a viewer demographic that never liked him in the first place. Sweet. Apparently the NFL wasn't too keen on my idea of putting Britney Spears on a lazy susan with her legs in the air on the 50 yard line. Because that my friend is entertainment for the masses. Sans panties of course.

Britney Spears is Getting Divorced

The Crunch — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 23:18:00 +0000

You knew this day would come. It was just a matter of when. People.com and TMZ are reporting that Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. I guess she got tired of trying to raise a third kid. Britney also popped into the David Letterman show last night. And looked pretty damn good all things considered. Perhaps that was just a pre divorce tease. You've got to figure that if she wants anything resembling a career back she's got to shed that hillbilly image. And staring with divorcing Kevin Federline can only help. I know that this photo of Britney has nothing to do with her getting a divorce, but she's naked, so really that makes the most sense don't you think.

Fake Britney Spears Sex Tape with KFed

The Crunch — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 03:38:00 +0000

It's been a while since we had a celebrity sex tape scandal. Just a day after Britney Spears files for divorce the net is buzzing with word of a Britney Spears sex tape with Kevin Federline. The short video is off a blowjob and has been posted here on PornoTube.com. I'll admit the girl giving the blowjob looks a bit like Britney, but I'm crying fake. All you really see is dick, and who the hell wants to see Kevin Federline's dick anyway. The video has even been branded with a Britney K-Fed sex tape logo, which I can assume is a pretty good way of insuring some form of lawsuit - unless of course the sex tape is real. In which case my vote for best celebrity blowjob still goes to Paris Hilton. And, if that isn't enough BJ action for you check out Chloe Sevigny giving Vincent Gallo a blowjob in The Brown Bunny. The real deal on film. It's a blowjob extravaganza!

Sutton Pierce Federline is Really Jayden James Federline and No One Cares

The Crunch — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 05:29:00 +0000

News has come out that Britney Spears latest offspring's real name is Jayden James Federline and not Sutton Piere Federline. What the hell is with these celebrities, who the hell cares and why the hell are you tricking people with the names of your kids. And if you're going to make something up at least have some fun with it. Sutton Pierce - that sucks. Take a page out of Gwyneth Paltrow's book and name your kid after some fruit, or a vegetable. Kumquat Lowmein has a nice ring it to. BTW This smokin how picture of Sofia Vergara's ass is provided because no one really want to look at picture of Britney's baby.

Happy Halloween from Tera Patrick

The Crunch — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 16:28:00 +0000

Nothing says Halloween like smoking hot porn stars. And nothing says hot porn chicks better than Tera Patrick. Can you image her showning up at your door. A trick and a treat. For a few a bit more Halloween humor and (topless hotness) check out CollegeHumors rundown.

Maria Sharapova Camel Toe Tennis Fashion

The Crunch — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 20:49:00 +0000

The US Open women's finals are tomorrow so I figured a Maria Sharapova post was in order. She has not yet beaten Mauresmo, but who cares. The Sharapova camel toe picture is old, but really, how you can wrong. Isn't this what women's tennis is all about. Sharapova also has the nice tennis grunt going. She's noiser than Monica Seles in heat. If you're looking for some more Sharapova pictures, the 6' 3" beauty has also done Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake's Photographer Scuffle

The Crunch — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 17:31:00 +0000

So it would seem Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake don't like having their photos taken. Dah. X17's photogs are under fire for some aggressive snapping, but are now said to be filing a complaint against Diaz and Timberlake. Since when does Cameron Diaz have dark hair? Anyway the dispute seems to be whether they were or private property or not. Does anyone really care about these photos, wouldn't you rather see Cameron Diaz in a bikini?

Portugal Fashion Week Nip Slips

The Crunch — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:54:00 +0000

Couple shots here for Portugal's fashion week. Apparently bra's aren't in style in Portugal. Super. Neither are shirts that button up. Again - a big plus. Click the picts for the NSFW nipple polloza.

Rachel Hunter is Edible

The Crunch — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 05:01:00 +0000

Rachel Hunter is so a MILF. No clue where this recent photo of Rachel is from, but i pass her along as a one fine looking woman.

Monday Morning Crunch

The Crunch — Mon, 24 Apr 2006 16:13:00 +0000

Janet Jackson's Not Fat Anymore?? - The Bastardly

Leonardo DiCaprio's Girlfriend's Dirty Secrets - IDLYITW

Paris Hilton sucks at Poker - The Superficial

Lindsay Lohan goes after Nick Lachey - The Bosh

Nicole Richie and DJ Adam are packin' ammo - T-Shirt watch

Tara Reid Tans the Girls

The Crunch — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 04:04:00 +0000

This might just be the rare photo of Tara Reid in a bikini where the focus of the picture is not her giant boobs. Instead it's Tara Reids hideous sunglasses, goofy bandana and fantastically attractive expression that actually pull attention away from her bikini clad jugs. Oh, wait, no, I looked, yeah, nevermind, it's the jugs.

Ready for Nude Photos of Nicole Richie?

The Crunch — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 20:08:00 +0000

Personally I'm not, but it seems that nude photos of Nicole Richie may be on the way to a computer near you. MSN reports that Nicole's camera was lost in a recent trip to an LA night club. The story claims that Nicole had the club searched, along with the bags of many A-listers, looking for the lost camera. That sounds a little far fetched to me. Nicole Richie is about the last celebrity I'd like to see nude these days. She's one step from a skeleton and so seriously lothesome on the Simple LIfe that I'd rather look at photos of a masturbating chip then anything x-rated Nicole Richie might have done. Unless of course it's reconciling with Paris Hilton in a little girl on girl action - that I'd give her a pass for.
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